It's been ages!

Not sure if anyone still follows this blog, it's been so long since I blogged here.

I've finally found a decent app that let's me blog using my blogger/blogspot account.

Well, what's new since I last blogged? I don't remember when I last blogged on here so I can't really answer that question doh

Pets. I now have an Arizona Mountain King called Teyha and a Royal Python named George. I also have a metallic pink toe called Penelope and of course Oscar the cat.

Bronny is enjoying Secondary School, can't believe she is actually there, only seems like yesterday that she started primary school.

Euan is 9 in July. Time really flies these days, even when I'm not having fun.

Been with Simon 8 years on 30th December 2011. Now that time has flown!

Bronny is out with her friend Charlotte at the moment, she is good friends with Charlotte.

Bronny came home injured yesterday where she had fallen off Charlotte's bike. She's knocked her lip up, grazed her cheek, grazed her arm and took loads of skin off her knees *sigh*

Euan wants to go outside but it looks too cold tonight, I'm not freezing my ass off so he can spend a short time in the garden lol

Well it's the stupid Royal Wedding on Friday. Whoopie Doo I will make a great effort to actually miss it lol

Spent most of today in bed in pain. No more ball games for me, I've done both shoulders and my back in and am in a lot of pain. General aches and pains are at a high today too. Roll on a day with minimal pain.

I don't think there will ever be a day with no pain, apart from when I'm dead lol. Knowing my luck you can still feel pain when you're dead though hahah.

Euan has just reminded me that he needs a sword and a shield for Thursday. I will get to work making them tomorrow.

Might be going to Tamworth tomorrow, it depends whether or not Dad has got a microwave in stock in the shop or whether they have got to order one in. I hope they have one because I don't want to wait longer to get a microwave.

I am really lucky that Dad works where he does, apart from the kettle, toaster, fryer and mixer (and microwave) everything else electrical in the kitchen has been from Dad's work. All paid for or paying for of course!

Well, that's it from me for now. Going to tootle off and write my tumblr blog now. I've decided to not use this app with tumblr as I already have the tumblr app installed there's no point in using this one when I can use the proper one.

That's all for now.

TTFN x

Extreme Pain...

I have suffered extreme pain for the last week or so, it's mainly in my legs but my upper body is in pain too. I have tried taking paracetamol on top of the meds I am already on but paracetamol touches nothing but a mild headache for me. I want to go back and see the doc and see if anything stronger can be prescribed, but we only did my medication review on 20th of July so it might look a bit dodgy me all of a sudden complaining that my pain relief just isn't doing it's job.

I have got to see him soon about the antidepressants so I suppose I could mention the extra pain then, I think it's just a co-incidence that I experience more pain upon changing antidepressant surely?

I have been bed bound mainly and I don't like it, luckily with the children going to Holiday Club it's not affecting them, but I don't enjoy spending most of my days in bed.

I was in bed when Mum and Dad came round yesterday, I tried to sleep as much as possible so that I was a good hostess and didn't feel grotty when they were here, thankfully they didn't stay very long, and Emma who came afterwards didn't stay all that long either and we had a chip shop dinner because I was too exhausted to even think about what to put on our plates.

We're supposed to be going out when the post has been as it is Bronny's birthday and she wants to go clothes shopping, I'm really not looking forward to it, but I promised her we would go and I'm not going to let my health get in the way.

I'll have to see how I get on and then decide whether I need the doc's intervention or not.

Huggles to all

Carol x

Bronny left Primary School Today

Big milestone today, Bronnys last day at Primary School, boy is she going to miss her teachers and friends.

It seems like only last week that she was leaving nursery to start at Primary, now she's getting ready to start high school! Woweee time flies.

It was a tearful day for her today as she doesn't want to leave, she says she's going to miss Mrs Davies the most. A lot of her friends are going to different schools, I think there are two other children in her class, I think she said that anyway.

Still got to finish off paying for her uniform before she starts in September, need to buy her shirts and trousers too. I wish I was made of money lol, though I'd end up being nothing as money burns a hole in my pockets lol.

Euan needs new trousers and polo shirts for school too, though his stuff won't be as expensive as Bronny's.

It's all money though, I don't know how people manage it. Maybe there's a secret like always ensuring you have someone to hand me down from lol.

Kids didn't get a place on the chase it course, which is all my fault for not sorting it out sooner, so they just have holiday club to go to on the days that they're not supposed to be on trips. Hopefully that in itself will be fun though, I can't see them charging £15 a day for the children to just sit around bored. (we're covered by a grant before you wonder where the hell we're getting the money from)

So all in all hopefully this holiday will be a lot better than years previous, we'll have to see.

I think I've upset my Mum somehow, she hardly ever replies to my texts any more, I often have to send her two or three texts to get one single answer and even then sometimes I get no answer at all.

Oh well.

Huggles for now xxxx

Scared

I watched paranormal activity with Simon on Wed night and am beginning to wish that I hadn't. I have never been so affected by a film, not that I can recall anyway. I'm scared of being on my own, I'm scared of the dark, I keep hearing things and I can't sleep through at all anymore, I think it's partly due to having caffeine again so I have to get some decaf teabags asap. Which will be next weekend now as this weekend will be spent on rent :/

I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye too which is really disturbing, I really wish I hadn't watched it, I'm so stupid as I know that type of film upsets me :/ I'm hoping it will wear off soon so I can sleep better, obviously I'm awake through the night anyway but nowhere near as much as the last few nights :/

Have you ever watched a film that has freaked you out for days? :/ xxxx

Huggles xxx

Life is what you make of it…

So they say, but sometimes things happen that you cannot help, and you are forced to live life that way instead. If only I wasn’t poorly, all the things we could have done over the years as a family, all the stuff I have missed out on, even playing ball games with the children in the back garden are a no go.

Imiss life sometimes. Mostly I just buckle on and get used to life and understand that this is the way it is going to be, I am far better off than some people on this earth, at least I still have my hearing, my eyesight (most of the time) and the ability to talk, and I have two legs and two arms that don’t quite work right but they are still there and I can still cuddle my children in my arms and know I’m doing it.

The day that will signify the end to me is the day that I start to forget happy memories, the ones that are burnt into my head deeper than any other memory in my head. When I start to forget them I may as well be no longer. Gruesome eh? Unfortunately that’s the way I feel.

Oh effin great, Euan has just come in to my bedroom with the gun that I bought him on Sunday (which arrived Tuesday) in two pieces, he can’t keep anything safe! He says he trod on it. Little sod, he doesn’t have a care for anything on this planet. He needs to learn that things cost money and money DOES NOT GROW ON TREES. OR come from up my arse. lol

Typical child, can’t keep anything for more than five minutes, I don’t think there is ANYTHING that I have given him or even leant to him that has not got broken, OK the DS is in one piece but he chewed the stylus beyond use. He’s always chewing on something, he spent a week chewing all the buttons off his school shirts and couldn’t understand why I was so mad with him. He’s just daft in the head is that lad of mine.

Anyway, no point moaning about it, complaining isn’t going to bring anything back now is it? Nope lol

I feel rather ill today with pain and I am very tired indeed. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day, perhaps not, we’ll have to wait and see.  I have found the least I do the day before and the better night sleep I have, the better the tomorrow.

Well that’s about it for this episode peeps.

 

Huggles and stuff.

 

xx

It’s been a while….

Hello my fellow blog readers, it’s been a while since you heard from me, and when you do hear from me I bore you all to death, how fair is that I ask? lol Since writing last, Bronny has received her mobile phone and hardly uses it, she probably has most of her texts for the month left which will save me money because I thought she would be excited about having her own phone and go over the amount of texts.

We went to Chester Zoo in the half term break, which was OK I guess apart from the fact that Chester Zoo isn’t REALLY wheelchair friendly and nor was it a quiet day, we queued for about half an hour to see the elephants as they were indoors, and by the time we got to what we thought was the front of the queue, people were not moving on, what was actually happening was people were giving up and leaving that’s why the queue was moving, not because they were being polite and giving everyone a chance to see. I obviously saw nothing but the backs of ignorant people’s heads and bodies. I don’t think the kids managed to see much more either, Simon couldn’t even get a photo for me because too many people were hogging the viewing area and not letting anyone in. :( We didn’t even find the big cats, which was a shame because I love the big cats too :( We couldn’t work out where they were on the map compared to where we were so we didn’t know which way to turn or anything, so we missed out on that.  The icecream was delicious, it was Karry Gold icecream, looked like a cornetto but tasted better lol.  I took plenty of photos of the animals that we DID manage to see including a picture of a Rhino’s backside, which I have subsequently made into a postcard for my postcard crossing hobby :) One out of my five postcards has arrived so far, but that was to a UK address.

I’m still waiting on Finland, USA, China, Taiwan and now I have one to send to Australia :) it’s all good fun and I can’t wait to receive my first postcard, it will be special to me indeed. I sound sad, but it’s something that Caroline introduced me to and it sounded really interesting and fun, so I soon got addicted. As our village isn’t exactly “touristy” I have had to make my own postcards online, but that doesn’t matter because they cost cheaper in the long run than spending petrol money to get to the place and then buying the postcards individually. Yes I end up with 50 of the same design but I’m not sending to the same people so that doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

My next design is of a squirrel, I thought of a caption for the picture too, but I don’t know whether or not I will use the caption or just keep the beautiful picture unmarked. I know not to resize it this time though because the bigger image that bonusprint have to work to the better the outcome.

Simon is playing WOW again, he has really gotten into it over the last few days, it keeps him from being bored anyway. :) Bronny and Euan are playing Unreal Tournament 2004 together, or at least they were. That keeps them busy for quite some time, until Bronny gets bored that is.

Bronny goes to camp on Monday, they’re camping out in tents instead of using the dormitories, it brings back memories because I went there with my Year 6 of school, and we camped too! Doesn’t time fly? lol She’s going to be doing canoeing, archery and at least one evening walk in the dark to see how much wildlife they can see. Brilliant! I bet she will thoroughly enjoy it, it should cure her fear of the dark, or make her worse and we’ll have to collect her :S

Hopefully she’ll be ok, too embarrassed in front of her friends to admit that she’s scared and then realise that there is actually nothing to be scared of, that it’s just dark, just not light, nothing else changed apart from the creatures, and none of them can harm her. lol

I am scared of flushing the toilet at night, I always have been, I used to be scared of something coming up out of the toilet I’ve seen so many daft horror movies where monsters and even normal creatures have come out of the toilet, and I’m scared of getting my butt bitten. lol I don’t know why I’m scared of using the flush, but when I was well I used to run back to the bedroom and shut the door before the flush finished, no idea what I thought might happen if I didn’t lol I’m still scared of it now but have had to grow up a bit as I’m unable to run away from it anymore lol

That’s all from me for today, I’ve waffled on inanely again and probably not ended up saying what I planned to say in the first place lol

Huggles to all.

xx

Bloggedy Blog

Simon has finally agreed to letting Bronny have her own mobile phone, it took some nagging and persuading I’m getting her the E63 Nokia on a 24 month contract. I have ordered it I just have to wait for an email to let me know if I’ve passed the credit check or not.

Bronny will be dead chuffed if I get her it, it’ll be for her birthday but as i’ve ordered it early she can have it earlier. She’ll be over the moon, it has a camera too.

Anyway I won’t get too excited for her yet as I’ve had to put “unemployed” on the status because there was no option for a disabled person unless I clicked on retired lol so hopefully they won’t mark me down for not having a job.

She has wanted a mobile phone since she was about 9 years old, the main reason I want her to have one is because I want to know that she is at school safely at Secondary School as she has to walk her own way, and not all of them are desirable.

Hopefully she’ll choose the best route and be in front of houses or businesses all the way there, if she cuts through keys park there are loads of places where there isn’t anything alive in sight for ages, as it’s a new industrial estate they still have to fill it with offices, I bet Pritchard is worth a fortune.

It also means that she will have a mobile phone for camp so she can call me whenever she wants, IF they give her permission to take it that is, but Bronny seemed to think that Mr Dickinson was banning them all from taking mobile phones :S

Never mind, she’ll be with school so it’s not as if she can get lost or anything, as long as she pays attention on walks and stuff.  I’m quite looking forward to her going on camp because I knew how much I enjoyed Shugborough Hall, we went in year 6 of Primary School too :) Kayaking is my favourite of all the things we did, oh archery was fun too, but I just loved Kayaking lol.

She’s going to have a big shock when she goes though, she won’t go upstairs on her own in the house in broad daylight, so how on earth is she going to manage with them all camping out in tents in the dark? heheh

I think Secondary school will be a big shock too, I don’t think she is expecting it to be anywhere as big and as busy as it will be, if she thinks there’s loads of kids at her school, she’ll pass out when she sees how many children are at secondary school lol.

Hopefully she’ll mature a lot in the holiday, and stop whining and crying at every little thing that goes wrong, you’ve only got to say boo to her and she’s in tears bless her. She is quite emotional right now though.

Euan is looking forward to Bronny going on camp because he will have the house to himself, without Bronny fighting with him over different things, I bet that week will be very peaceful indeed.

I’ll miss her though, I used to miss them both like crazy when they went on holiday with their Dad (something I should never have allowed judging by the blisters on Euan’s feet and the sunburn on Bronny’s back)

Anyway, that’s all for now peeps.

 

Huggles

 

Carol

 

x

Boo :)

Hello fellow readers of this here thicko’s blog.

OOH the electrician has just switched the electric off, good job I’m on a laptop and not on a main PC but If I was Simon would have prewarned me to switch it off first I am sure.

The electrician has come to fix the shower switch because it shorted and melted the circuit, I’ve just heard him say it’s a common fault with dodgy wiring. :S

Well, I’ve finally got my laptop :) I can’t say “back” because this is a totally different one, an actual upgrade from the one I drowned lol.  Must remember I’m running on battery power and save this blog before the battery dies, I’m using Windows Live Writer to write it, I thought I would see what it was like to use and if it was any different to writing directly into the blog website, it’s a tidier experience and you can actually see how the blog page will layout instead of showing either html or non-html versions of each page.

I use blogspot because it was the first one I opened when I googled for blogging software, I don’t blog anywhere near as much as I used to though, so my poor readers have probably died of boredom and gone off to lead much more interesting lives than that of mine. lol

Well, I have exhausted ours and Heath Hayes library of Terry Pratchett books now so I have to find a suitable day when I can get Simon to take me to Tamworth library to get some more stocks.

The snakes are fidgetting today, well it’s usually today onwards that they all go to the toilet after eating on Sunday night typical snakes are going to make a stinky mess all over their clean housing, I doubt my banana will make a mess though as he has not eaten for two weeks now, I hope he’s OK and just shedding or something.

Right, I’m bored already so I’m buggering off now peeps.

Huggles to all

 

Carol

 

xx

Another blog from a bored old wrinkly frog

Hello readers :)

I thought it was time to torture you all again with my blogging lol

Today has been no different to any other Saturday. Stayed in my pit
until 11:30 then dragged myself out and prepared kids foodfor their
brunch, then I sat on the bed sending various different emails,pm's
and texts. I've run out of stuff to read! It's terrible. I'm having
withdrawal symptoms from Discworld lol I need more books! Will have to
go to library on Monday to stock up. Just hope the weather is a bit
warmer so I can venture out without making myself ill. Simon could go
on my behalf but he won't know which books to get indeed if there are
many there at all.

I'm hoping to be able to read The Hogfather again, this was my first
intro to the discworld about 10 years ago now. I wouldn't mind Reading
going postal before it comes out on Sky so I know what it's all
about. ;)

There's the witches series that I would like to read too, and
Wintersmith I think it's called as the NacMac Feegles are in it (I
think lol)

Not sure what I'll do next when all Pratchett text is exhausted, maybe
I'll try and find another author that I like, Tom Holt is a good one
too don't know how many novels he has, I had Overtime, expecting
someone taller and Whos afraid of Beowulf but haven't read any of them
for about 8-10 years. I used to read avidly before I got myself
addicted to irc and spent most of my days and nights on there lol Im
not disappointed that I got so addicted. I would ne'er have met Simon
otherwise and I cannot possibly imagine life without him.

I am in pain today but it's tolerable just about, didn't want to take
anymore pain relief though, I'm on more than enough as it is :/

I can't stop bloody yawning lol I'm so tired all the time, I just wish
I could wake up just once feeling remotely relaxed and refreshed.
*sigh* at least I haven't had a major heaving fit today which makes
all tghe difference to my well being.

I think I can hear Simon watching Dr Who, I believe that is what is on
at this time on a Saturday anyway, I watched the first one of the new
series without sound as Si was watching on his pc and I was nosing
over his shoulder, I had to correct that from soldier then lol,

I'm so bored I need something else to get my head stuck into and
read :S heheh I wish we had more books but we've not really been the
Reading kind in the past. Simon is reading fifth elephant ATM which
is the one I read last too lol there should be a detailed list of his
books and in the order that they should be read too heheh I'd ne'er
have read Thud! Before the other two then lol silly me.

Simon has come up to spray his lizRds to give them a drink but Rex is
being awkward doing the impression of a bat on steroids lol (don't ask)

I think I have upset one of my very good friends this week as they've
stopped talking to me, I have checked my sent messages more than once
though and not really seen anything that would upset them, even if
they were in the wrong frame of mind :/ oh well, what is done is
done. :/

I think Jane owes me a letter but I shall let her off considering how
busy she is ATM and with her being in such important times at the
moment lol I'll get one eventually and the longer she leaves it the
more shell have to reply to lol lol

Bored moreso now so gonna fluff off and give myself something to do xxx

Huggles

From

Carol Venables
Sent from my iPhone

Oooh I forgot

I forgot about blogging, naughty me lol. I've been busy with my head
in the toilet or in a Terry Pratchett novel though. I have one left to
read which is called monstrous regiment, there's a couple of night
watch books that I haven't read so have to get them although I'm
completely out of order in Reading them now , the last three I read
were back to front for instance, I read Thud! Night Watch and the
fifth elephant, completely back to front lol silly me. I'm just
getting into Thud! Again in the hopes that there is going to be a new
Watch book before he is not able to write at all. He is one amazing
man and once I have picked up a book I have to tear myself reluctantly
from the Discworld every time the real world requires me to do
something in it. Oh how I would love to meet some of the characters,
The Nac Mac Feegles sound delightful to know. I'd love to meet death
on the understanding that I'm not actually dead too , he is a
wonderful character and I adored him in Hogfather. Sybil sounds
divine, the sort of person you don't want to stop hugging incase they
suddenly don't exist. Vetinari sounds like a wonderful character to
meet too :) yes they're all stories and it doesn't do one particularly
good to have a hied full of stories when the real world is being
neglected. I have to say though, since I have been Reading these books
i've not had a single bad dream, not even of the Faerie Queen last
night although she managed to instill a little fear inside of me
whilst I was Reading. I felt as connected to the story as Sebastion
did when Reading the never ending story really quite bizarre but
amazing at the same time.

Yes, I have lost my marbles.

If Mr Pratchett read this he'd probably laughing his socks off at how
such a simpleton could be so engrossed and addicted to his books.

On real life now, I'm still being ill i've lost 4 stone in 2-3 months
and the pain and fatigue is still unbearable at times, my stomach
feels like it's struggling to stop time, it gurgles and bubbles like a
cauldron of brew. Occasionally errupting into a half hearted belch or
a full trouser ripping glad I'm on my own right now fart. Thankfully
without the after burn of acid and the stench of sulphur. Lovely? Not
lol

Went to see Mum and Dad yesterday, I'm under oath not to put their
aging booth pics on facebook, hmmm *rubs hands excitedly like a child
eagerly awaiting their pocket money* wonder how much I could make In
blackmail fees? Lol lol I still have to trawl through facebook and
steal photos of innocent relatives and surprise them into realising
how old they can look. Anyway. I have deviated for want of a better
word. It tore at my heart strings to see Mum in so much pain, I wanted
to hold her and heal her and take all the pain away and promise her
that all would indeed be well. She looked so damn fragile and
hopeless. I wanted to cry and hold her tight and never let go.

Strange how I'm feeling these days, I would give the rest of my life
to go back and start again at the tender age of 11 and right all my
wrongs and just see what I could have made of myself had I not stepped
off the beaten track and attempted to shortcut through the dense
forest of life.

Alas I would not be who I am now, I wouldn't have my wonderful
children or Simon, so yes I may as well put my past behind me and
stick to the future ahead, it's not all bleak, I have my family and
they are responsible for keeping me on today's path through life
without the slightest inclination to stray again.

What nonsense a hied full of stories talks eh? I did already admit to
losing my marbles though so that's a start.

There is a beautiful blue sky out there today but it is cold so only
does good to watch it through nice double glazed windows. Simon says
all this week is to be cold, typical come on Spring catch up! You only
have this month left! We had snow in April last year though, I'm
pretty sure of it. Well about 66% anyway lol the other 34% is hiding
in my memory trying to remember.

Strange things are memories, so many people prefer to live in their
past than to help Fate and Time on their way.

What would I be doing now if I wasn't lost in these words? Ah yes. I'd
be asleep. Lol

I think that is enough for now the men in the White coats are on their
way and I don't intend allowing them to catch up ;)

Huggles to all

From

Carol Venables
Sent from my iPhone

Titsalina Bumsquirt

Don't know why I gave it that title, I just fancied doing something different, that is a "nice" way of cursing if you have done something wrong instead of saying "shit" or even "fuck", I'm guessing to the extra prude, it would still sound rude lol

Well, bugger me senseless with a barge pole and a bar of soap. (no, I'm not into that, it's just something I say when I'm in shock or something like that lol) Mum phoned yesterday I think it was, and said that they (they being Mum, Dad, Clare & Amy) will be coming to see us on Tuesday next week. I nearly died of shock when she told me. It's because she has to be in Cannock at some point on that day for her pre-op blood test and she or Dad decided it would be good to visit me whilst they're over here, they're going to pizza hut too, so I'll either see them before or after they have eaten, it depends upon what they decide to do. I'm still surprised that they have/are going to made the effort to come and see us whilst they're in the area.

Mum is going in for her operation on her knees on Thursday next week, I'm actually really worried for her, she's having both knees replaced at the same time :O I couldn't believe it when they said they'd do both at once. At least she'll recover in half the time that she would have done if they did one after the other. I don't envy her in the slightest, yes it would be nice to not have knackered and very painful knees, but I don't think I'd want that doing in a hurry. I hope that she comes through the op OK. I have to arrange visiting times when I'm going to go and see her, we'll have to take the children though, so they'll have to be on their very best behaviour.

Simon is at Sainsbury's stocking up on Easter eggs, I've told him to spend £15 on the small ones, then the kids can have 3 each and then there'll be 9 left for the rest of the family, it doesn't matter that they are small, if people are not grateful they can have nothing lol. Kids will be moregrateful of three smaller eggs with different bits inside than one big egg. Though they have been spoilt by Emma who has bought them a big cadburys easter egg each, they'll not think anything of what we have gotten them (or will have gotten them when Simon gets them rofl)

My health? Well, I've dropped down even further, now only on 10mg baclofen, 250mg Lyrica but have had to go back up to 200mg of tramadol for the pain because it has been so unbearable, he did mention that I could still take tramadol. I'm going to write to the psychiatrist and explain that I do not need to see him anymore because I am practically off my tablets (well still a way to go yet, but I'm definitely getting there) and the oxygen is gone, but as for the mobility it's just not possible with the amount of pain it causes.

I haven't been sick for about 4 days now, but then again I've not really eaten anything that would make me sick either so I can't rule it out as being back to normal, I shall have to try a solid meal, perhaps gammon and chips with Simon tonight, that's not too stodgy if I only have a small portion of chips :) Nah, I'll let the kids have the gammon and I'll stick to my yoghurts and soups i think, I don't want to be sick again. *makes mental note to take gammon out of freezer*

lol I'm addicted to We Rule and Zombie Farm, they're two games on the iPhone/iPod that I am playing, Bronny plays them on the iPod whereas I play them on the iPhone heheh, I've just planted a crop of potatoes in We rule which will be ready in 6 hours and a crop of tomatoes in Zombie farm which will be ready in four hours :) I haven't planted any more zombies as I already have 4 growing in the ground, and I have 14 live Zombies so I can only have two of those Zombies that are "born", I had a dead one this morning which is a shame, but it's one out of the 40 odd Zombies I have created, so when you look at it like that, it's not too bad.

Simon seems to be taking forever, I hope he's OK and the eggies are the price that they say they are on the website, otherwise I'll be owing him even more money lol.

Right, time for me to bugger off now, I have a headache coming on from sitting with my neck cricked :S

Huggles to all x

Getting There

Well then well then....

Since seeing the psychiatrist person in the beginning of February, I have now come off the oxygen and I am working my way towards coming off the medication, you see he said that the majority of my symptoms are caused by my medication, so I have to come off them and see what is left, obviously the pain won't have gone because the pain wasn't caused by medication, the medication was mainly to prevent the pain, which didn't work of course as I am always in pain.

So far I have dropped Baclofen from 50mg a day to 30mg, Tramadol has been dropped from 250mg a day to 150mg and lyrica 500mg - 350mg I'm dropping that one slower.

Since starting to come off the medication I have had a serious bout of sickness, practically every day I have started throwing up everything I have eaten in the evening, it's getting to the point that I've only been eating liquids, so that I don't have to puke up solids as I panic when I'm puking up really bad thick yuck. Sorry for the detail :( Doc says it's nothing to do with coming off the meds as I am not on any sickness meds, but I don't fully agree because I was fine before I started off dropping the medication down.

it's really strange to explain, before all this, if I missed a dose of meds or was late in having them I would yawn constantly none stop, right? Well, now I'm dropping the meds I'm yawning none stop especially after lunch, the problem is that my yawning is making me pull my vomit muscle, the one that propels the food up through the sphincter into my oesophagus, either that or the muscle is spasming now I'm on lower baclofen, either way I then can't stop being sick, I end up throwing up everything I have eaten that day. This is happening every day. I must be digesting SOME before I'm sick because I'd be seriously ill after three weeks of throwing up now surely? You'd think?

Anyway, enough talk of being sick :( I finally got Jane's letter finished the other day and she text me tonight to say she had received it :) that's a good thing because I've been writing it since January lol a three month letter, not bad eh? lol I'm sooooo lazy when it comes to writing letters, well I end up having to give up because of the pain in my wrist and hand (and fingers) so it takes me forever to handwrite a big letter because of all the breaks I have to have, shouldn't be months though lol a week at most heheh.

I feel a bit chilly at the moment, I'm going to have to put my jumper on, which is mainly used for going downstairs because it's always bloody freezing down there thanks to two leaky outside doors letting all the heat out and cold in. bleugh.

So.. anything else to report? Oh I saw Julie after about 6 years the other week, they came round on a Sat and the children enjoyed their company, Euan behaved and didn't show off, infact he ended up going up on his PC because he was bored, ignorant bugger lol. Becky is 14 now, I can't believe it, she seemed only a wee dot when I saw her last, and James too, he's grown up, and I cannot believe that Daniel is 18 this year (was 18) I can remember him as a wee baby, all small and defenceless lol and now he's a young adult! Bloody hell time flies, that must mean that I have known Julie for 18 years then! Blinking flip now that's a long time to have known her for! lol. I can remember when I used to stay at her house in Swadlincote on the sofa being attacked by the bloody cat all night... them were the days, we saw each other less and less as I got involved with the ex, because he didn't like me going out and visiting my friends, he was a barsteward in that account.

Right I'm going to bugger off now because I have a virtual dog to play with (don't laugh at me, I'm not allowed a real doggy ever!)

Huggles.

xx

still alive

Hiya all, thought I'd come along and blog to let you know I'm still alive, I bet none of my followers read it any more though so I'm probably wasting my time writing here anyway lol though, at least it is somewhere for me to let my hair down and have a grump about things, or to say how happy I am etc, would have been easier to say let my feelings out whatever they may be.

Right now I'm confused, right my Sister asks me what my children want for Christmas? So I give her a detailed list of what they might like and even give her the website for Euan's stuff... now for some reason this has upset her to the fact that she didn't bother sending them anything at all and now she's not speaking to me again *rolls eyes* I can't win, it's not as if I said, right get him this that and the other and that's what he wants, I just reeled off a list of things that he would want for his combat vest that we have bought him, this obviously has caused a problem *rolls eyes again* I wonder what I did wrong, I have no idea at all.

I have just been on the phone with her, initially she was very short with me, because she felt I had been bloody cheeky asking if she had sent anything, but after a while she let her guard down and we started talking a bit better, Amy is doing really well in her Exams, revising properly with a revision timetable and everything and she even took her revision on holiday, skiing to do some, she missed a day and made up for it, Joe does little as poss apparently,, just scraping by, but he wants to move to Australia and do animal rehabilitation, cool, at least he has high aspirations and doesn't want to just be a surf dude, although I bet he'll spend a lot of time doing that if he manages to get out there, Amy is 16 this year and Joe is 13 :O I can't believe they have grown up so much, but I guess with Bronny starting secondary school now it's about right for them to have progressed so far through their school life.

It was an 18 minute conversation about different subjects, we really nattered, well she did and I listened, she didn't ask how we all were, so I just presumed that she was not interested, besides it was my phone call to her, maybe if she calls me one day she might ask about them. I have to write their birthdays down in my phone so that I get it right, I'll ask Clare for Amy and Joe's Mobile numbers so that I can store those in my phone too. I'll text her in a bit. It's daft, I've not talked to her for absolute years, no wonder she never talks to me, I think I stopped with the calling so she never bothered to call back.

Right, it's time I went and gobbled some banoffee pie now, it's only a small one so I have to be sparing with it lol

byeeeee


Huggles.

x

am so tired....

Hi all,

Am really tired tonight, need sleeeep lol, I'm going to try and not go to sleep too early tonight though, I'm going to be a good girly.

At least I don't have to get up early anymore. Simon was supposed to be swapping his tarantula for a gecko and the chap was coming round at "about 9" in the morning, so I had to get up and get dressed ready for about quarter to nine. Alas the bloke's missus has told him he's not allowed to swap the gecko or he moves out too, so he's backed out on the deal, which is a real shame as I fancied having a gecko in the house, I think they are really cute. Especially Tokay geckos which is what it is. The only bonus to it is that I don't have to get up early any more. lol

So, how am I REALLY? I'm exhausted and have back ache and all I did was unload a pile of clean dry washing onto the bed and sort it and put it away. Emotionally I'm fine, happy actually, I've been to see the neurologist and he is referring me to see a neuro-psychiatrist because he feels as though the problem is with software and not hardware. I don't mind either way it would just be nice to have an answer as to what is wrong with me really. I want to be better too, he said he believes that it is curable.

I'm so tired all the time too, I have a rest in the day, which at the moment I NEED, and then I sleep from 8pm until when Simon comes to bed and then I go back to sleep until I get up in the morning, at weekends I am up at 11am ish and then I'm back in bed a few hours later, I'm fed up of it and want my life back.

I will have to find a job when I am better but I have no problems with that, I don't mind looking for work and doing a job as long as it is not physical, I've never been any good at physical labour, all the physical jobs I've had I've had to quit before long because my body just won't do physical work, it's not that I'm lazy it's the pain that is caused, like back ache and joint ache.

the next thing to consider is, how much of the problems that I have is actually down to this problem and how much of them are just there anyway, I know that my knee is due to arthritis, but exactly how much of the crippling pain is due to arthritis and how much of it is due to my poorly, that's what I will call it from now, to make it easier to refer to, because I still haven't been given a label, perhaps the neuro-psychiatrist will label it for me, I thought it was psycho-somatic, but the neurologist (Dr Leonard) said that it was not psychological that it was something more than that something deeper in the workings of the brain. I am looking forward to finding out though, because the brain is a strange and wonderful thing, I know that some people have been so poorly with the brain that they are 100% sure they cannot feel or move their legs, and that it has been a genuine problem, the patient really can't move their legs, but it has been found out that it is software based and not hardware.

Shopping online for Bronny's Christmas presents tomorrow, will probably get most of it from Argos to be honest, will be easier cuz then I can reserve it and Si can use my card and go to the store and order the bits and pay and pick them up just like that (computerised system) which will be far easier than going to other online stores and paying for delivery costs and wondering whether or not it will come in time. Far far better than actually physically walking around toys r us or something like that anyway lol.

I will do it tomorrow though so that Si can collect the things on Monday when the kids are at school instead of trying to get them in the house and hide them from Bronny on Saturday or Sunday. She'll only try to find them knowing her when she knows that they have arrived in the house and she will hear Simon opening the cupboard which the stuff will be hidden in and she will find everything, her's and Euan's stuff.

Right that's me done for a while, Bronny has just added me into a group conversation so I'm going to bugger off and watch what goes on in that ;)

Love to all and Christmas Merry you to.

Huggles

x

Blinkin flip

Too much pain to eat tonight, even struggling to have a drink, hot or cold :-( when will this end? Lying on the bed feeling sorry for myself again lol it's not something I can just ignore though.

How annoying, Bronny is listening to two separate sets of music, completely different songs, they don't even sound like the same genre! How utterly annoying!

I miss Floppy, lots and lots :( I wish I had been there to cuddle him when he passed away, instead he went to sleep in the cold and lonely as Jasmin nice and warm in the hutch, my poor baby, I dreaded that day and I can still remember it clearly, Simon going out to check on them, and there he was all cold and asleep even found ice on him (was a cold winter day was that) he obviously didn't want to move house again so he went to sleep before we moved. Bless his soul I hope he's happy at the bridge and not missing me as much as I miss him I want him back so badly.

:'-(

I wonder who sat there and designed all the emoticons we know and love today, I'm not talking msn or smiley central, I'm talking text emoticons that people use. :-) ;-) :-| just a few of the very many out there lol then there is the clever people that make pictures out of them like giant teddy bears and stuff heheh :-)

Ooh just received a text, I wonder who that could be from? I've been talking to Rabbit John but he said he would pm me? Unless he has just texted me to tell me that he's done it? *goes to have a looksee* it was Jane heheh she's in a foul mood, not that I blame her, out of respect for her I'm not going to be blabbing what is going on in her life atm.

I'm really hungry and banoffee pie is calling me too, but I can't have it because I'm in too much pain to eat :( hope tomorrow is a better day, surely it should start to ease instead of getting worse? :S I guess I should go to docs or dentist if it gets worse as I could have an infection brewing, there is something rotting in there judging by my breath lol it smells like poo! Literally! Bleugh bleugh bleugh.

I'm going to have to go and have some soup I'm starving hungeee lol some nice oxtail soupywoup :-) lol

Huggles

X

Btw, I don't type the sent by blackberry crap the phone does it itself and I've not found the section to change my signature for emails yet heheh
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Somebody please....

Take this damn pain away lol

On bed on mobile sending post by email again, laptop not been on for two days now apart from me trying to create space for the settlers game on ipod by taking lots of music away, (which didn't work after all that deleting) I have back ups on second partition anyway.

I can't believe I lost so much music transferring from PC to laptop - I was so lazy and didn't transfer everything then regretted it as soon as simon installed windows 7 :( oh well, my own fault.

Snakes are still suffering the dreaded mites, they are bloody everywhere! I just hope that Rex doesn't get them as it won't be so easy to treat him :S damn things.

I have a headache on top of general post-op pain which is not helping at all. My eyes have gone all blurred again too. Think it's time to give up and try to sleep it is nearly bedtime after all.

Night night all

Huggles.

X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Ouchies

Well, had the dreaded tooth out yesterday bugger me did it hurt my jaw all that levering and pulling and tugging, I thought they were going to break my jaw lol. As the tooth had hooks for roots the hospital dentist couldn't promise he would be able to get it all out, but after lots of pulling force and drilling the remainder off the tooth came out intact.

He promised me a week of intense pain and lots of swelling. Hopefully after a week the pain will die down and I will be able to talk again.

At the moment the cheek is so swollen on the inside that I cannot talk properly and there is a lot of swelling on the outside too it literally looks like I have shoved a satsuma in that side of my mouth and forced it closed. My whole face looks a mess lol.

The pain is immense and causing me to not be able to eat solids I bought some soup today so at least I could get one decent meal inside me a day.

Talking hurts, opening my mouth just enough for a drink hurts, touching my face either side hurts, my jaw hurts too, I'm in so much pain I have had to increase my tramadol intake :( not something I really want to do. I'm typing this on my mobile whilst lying down as simple sitting up hurts too :(

Right, time to bugger off and put Euan to bed.

Huggles

X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Oooh this is good innit?

This is my first mobile blog post, I am composing the post as an email, of which I will send to blogger using the email address that I have been given to send posts to. Ain't that clever? Heheh.

Really don't feel well today, I have just eaten my brunch and will be going to bed shortly, I am lying propped up on the bed writing this. Simon is bathing his Python to ease it of the mites, I have already stated my displeasure of these rotten things heheh

I am REALLY nervous for tomorrow, I'd cancel if it wasn't for the fact that I'm fed up of the damn tooth causing pain and infections, I swear that is the source of my bad breath sometimes, with it stinking so much and I can taste going off food in my mouth but cannot get to it when I clean my teeth.

I checked my mobile phone bill today, expecting the total to be already sky high and its not I only have £3.61 or somet like that of extra's over the top of my normal account invoice, that is really not bad at all. I wish I could keep it down to just normal phone bill charges though I really do. Not even sure where that money has been spent. - I have the mobile internet package on my phone so I shouldn't be being charged for anything along those lines.

Anyway, time to drink tea and snuggle down to sleep :)

Huggles

X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

A fresh Autumn morning

Window is open to get rid of the condensation that has built up on the window due to the central heating now being put on. I can tell just by the little breeze that is coming through that it's rather fresh out there this morning, and why did I mention Autumn? As I can see next door's tree with a few Autumn coloured leaves left on it but mainly bare. Autumn has certainly come at last. I like Autumn because it is cooler than Summer yet not quite cold enough to hurt the face when you go out.

Simon has gone out this morning, most probably with his hat on, having no hair his head and ears hurt in the cold because there is no protection for them hahah. He's gone out to the garden centre to buy a water dish for Bob and some new snake bowls for the stripe, speckled and the corn. With having mites they are trying to get in their water bowls to ease themselves of the itch, but their bowls are way too small for them, bless, hopefully we'll get rid of the mite problem when the spray arrives though, I can't stand the thought of my poor snakes being eaten by damn parasites.

He's also gone out to get a hide for Bob, Bob is very upset and stressed because he hasn't got anywhere to hide at the moment as Si emptied his housing of bedding, plants and tiles yesterday, there's one tile in there, that's been soaked to make sure there are no mites in it, to protect the pond liner from the heat lamp. Other than that it's the brick sides and pond liner for a floor, so he's not a happy Bob at all.

Euan brought a violin home last week, I didn't believe him when he said he was going to have his own violin to practice on at home. Bless him he plucks it very well and his beautiful singing voice is a treat I can tell you :) It's so soft and beautiful :) He has violin lessons on a Thursday and has to practice the violin for the rest of the week at home. Hopefully he will learn some new songs as the one he does at present has worn out lol

Bronny does Art Club and ICT now, Art Club explains itself in the title, but in ICT they are making an animation, Bronny has to draw her picture, take a picture of it, then draw another same picture with the arms slightly moved for instance and take another picture. I can't remember who she said she was working with but she enjoys ICT Club. She likes Art Club as well, but Euan went last week and just messed about which embarrassed her and annoyed her, she came out and said to Simon, "Euan is doing my head in" lol

Any more news to report?

Oh, I have a tooth extraction tomorrow which I am definitely not looking forward to, my tooth is the wisdom tooth at the back of my mouth on your left, the thing that worries me is that the roots are curled and not straight so it's going to be a mare to take it out, I'd much rather go to sleep for the process lol Simon has to wait in the waiting room, the paperwork said it's usually 20 minutes up to an hour to take it out! Oh my what a long time to be sitting crapping myself in the dentist's chair. I really wish they would send me to sleep lol PURLEASE let me SLEEP! hahah

Then on 10th December I have my neurology appointment, I will be surprised if they find anything this time round or even suggest anything to do, I mean what more can they do, they completed every test possible (I think) and all results came back as "normal". What oh what is wrong with moi? :(

I'd very much like a diagnosis so at least I have a label to put on it, that way when people ask me what is wrong I do not have to sit embarrassed and eke out an "I don't know" it seems so blank, the only thing that is VISIBLY wrong with me is the oxygen, if it were not for that they would just see a fat woman in a wheelchair, and like I do to various people who I see out.. They will say "If she lost some weight she'd be better"

I don't know what is wrong, I wish I did, even if it was something simple I would like to know. It's not the meds as I have been weaned off them and the symptoms that I was put on the meds for got worse again, so it's not the meds that are creating the side effects. Although, looking at the possible symptoms on the medication paperwork, you would think that it is the meds, but it's strange because all the meds I have been prescribed explain that some of the side effects are what the medication has been prescribed to prevent? Strange!

I had all the symptoms before going on the medication though and we worked on each one as and when needed so it's definitely not the medication which people are suggesting.

I'd rather know I'm dying than not know anything? That's deeper than it seems, what I am trying to say is that I just really really really REALLY want to know what is wrong with me? Pretty please?

Whilst I am sitting here typing this I have pain in my feets, pain in my calfs and shins, my knees ache back and front and inside, I have pain in my thighs and whatever the back bit is called, I have a LOT of pain in my hips which is getting far far worse it really is, OUCHIES, my back hurts as if I have broken it (I have felt the pain of a broken bone so don't lecture me telling me that how do I know what that feels like) my chest hurts, the muscles that surround the ribs at the back hurt, my shoulders hurt, my elbows hurt, my wrists hurt, my fingers all are bordering on being numb although I am using them to type, my neck REALLY hurts and my eyes hurt and keep going double vision, I also keep going rather dizzy and nauseous. Going to have to raid the cupboards for something to eat soon too.

Sorry for that, out of my system now heheh I really shouldn't vent on my blog, the poor people that still read it don't want to hear it.

Right I'm off, too hungry to do anymore

Huggles

x

Oh No!!!

Our snakes and Bob the Skink have reptile mites :( so not fair :( it means a costly de-miting process where we have to treat the snakes and their habitats. The horrible little biting barstewards!

I can't believe it, have no idea where we got them from, it could have been the Speckled King or the Pinstripe which were Simon's latest additions to the "fold" (it's not a fold of snakes I know I'm just loosely using that word) There isn't a snake that hasn't got them, Simon's mexi-black seems most troubled by them I think, bless his little heart, he's been throwing himself around and soaking in his water bowl for months. Which means actually that it wasn't the latest additions, I do hope it wasn't the Boa because in two weeks time I'll be having me a Boa for my little collection which will be three :)

Simon has gone to get bigger bowls for his snakes to bathe themselves in to attempt to ease the itch. I still can't believe it, how unlucky are we? :( bloody biting things that they are!

Why did amoebas evolve into parasites? It's not fair, all of them want rounding up and setting on fire and then we can get rid of them lol, it's so not fair. Though, are we parasites? No we don't actually live on the things we eat so at least we can't be called parasites lol

In other news, yes you heard already, next on my list is a Dwarf sonoran cross boa :) Simon's is just so beautiful I can't help but have one for myself, we'll be in trouble if they're not proper dwarves though as Boas can grow up to 14ft long! Heheh we'd have to sell them on, but we'd probably get a fair bit for them.

We should set up a breeding scheme and get ourselves off benefits and living off our sales of snakes, if we got a grand a snake we'd be laughing all the way to the bank. Only problem? We don't have the space or the money to set ourselves up, we'd have to buy expensive snakes 2 off to be able to sell expensive snakes.

I can't understand people wanting to keep venomous breeds though, I mean that's just daft surely, the Dangerous Wild Animals list is big and long and I cannot believe that anyone would purposely buy a venomous snake. Yes they are pretty but so are all non-venomous snakes. I know you have to have a licence to keep them and you have to have a room that you can put them in one with a lockable door that has NO gaps in it heheh.

When the children grow up and leave the nest, hopefully by then we will have ourselves a nice council house :) and we'll be able to have a room full of snakes :) how cool is that? Heheh, though I don't know if they would downgrade us if the children left home and we were still living in a council house? Will have to ask someone that has lived in one for years and years, next door seems like a safe bet for an answer.

That's all folks.

Huggles
x