RIP Baron Greenback 02 February 2009

It is with sorrow and regret that I have to write in here about our precious Baron Greenback who only spent but a week with us in our care. I hadn't reported this sooner as I couldn't bring my self around to writing it, and obviously neither could Simon.

Baron Greenback was our Yemen Chameleon that we collected from Northampton on the previous Saturday (24/01) and brought so happily into our home.

He was a cheeky character and he would hand feed from Simon and he was lovely, he never let you out of his sight when he was awake, he was a lazy lizard who didn't wake to bask until nearly lunchtime even though the light would go on at 10am. We were so happy with him and he really made a difference to us.

He was a joint venture of Simon and myself, Simon wanted a lizard and I've always wanted a chameleon so that's how we ended up looking for our perfect pet.

On Monday (02/02) Baron kept acting strangely, he kept hissing and falling about, into plants. In the morning he fell and got himself tangled up and by the time I realised he was stuck and not hiding he was so cold he had no energy to fight me anymore, so I carefully placed him in his basking area so he could warm up again, I feared that if I'd not have rescued him he would have gone then. As the day progressed he continued moving around and hissing a lot. By the evening when the children had gone to bed he fell from the top of his housing to the floor (chameleons, according to Simon, NEVER fall) he looked in a bad way, I got him out and tried to get him to hang on to his basking area but try as I might he would NOT let me go, so I ended up in agony holding him up to his light. I realised this was having no affect and he seemed to actually start shying away from it, so I gently hobbled over to the bed and sat him on my hand whilst I did other things, he was fading rapidly so I gave him my full attention, he could no longer hiss, he just opened his mouth and motioned towards the sound but nothing came out, I was in tears, our baby was dying after only a week of knowing him.

I tried to syringe feed him water as Simon was worried that it was because he was so dehydrated, but this wasn't working, the stubborn bugger shut his mouth tight so I couldn't get in, I didn't want to hurt him by forcing it open.

He closed his eyes, I knew he had gone, his heart was still going and his lungs still working but his little precious soul had said goodbye to me and was gone, he fell onto his side and sighed. We placed him gently into the flexarium for him to go quietly without any disturbance (he had gone already he was just breathing but we wouldn't and couldn't help him go)

I'm heartbroken and so is Simon, we cannot believe that he has gone, after showing NO signs of illness apart from a dizzy day on Monday.

We would have taken him to the vet in the morning after his first entanglement with the plant had we known that was the start of it all (he didn't really fall that time, he just slid into the leaves).

Now it leaves me to say goodbye and farewell to Baron Greenback.

Rest in Peace little man.

I am so stuffed!

Might help if I added text after a title instead of just pressing enter in the title bit.. *sigh* been a long day to end a long weekend.

We went to Simon's Parents' house for Tea because it was Simon's Mum's birthday on Friday before.

It was a huge and gorgeous meal I have to say and I am pleasantly plump, Roast Beef, Roast Pork, pigs in blankets, sausagemeat, roast tatties, yorkshire pud, carrots, boiled new spuds, broccoli, sprouts, peas, leeks in cheese sauce, gravy... apple sauce *burps again* and then for pud was pears and peach halves in juice with cream which I had one pear and one peach half, then his Mum's birthday cake which was a vanilla cake there was also coffee and walnut cake and bakewell slices on offer, she really did do a spread.

We always eat really well when we go to Si's parents' house she cooks enough to overflow everyone's plates and there was 10 of us there as well! Heaven help us when James and Adam have girlfriends and bring them, that'll be 12 people to sit round two tables (they have a dining room table which currently sits 6 but has had 8 around it, and a posh table in the kitchen which seats 4)

Euan started playing up towards the end because his begging was not working when he was trying to persuade ANYONE to play on Adam's Wii with him, Adam felt ill and didn't want to play so Adam said to get James to play it with him, but no, he wouldn't do it either, then Michael got asked and he definitely refused so Euan was getting more and more worked up that no-one wanted to play it with him.

We left at about 8pm and got home and in the house by about 9.30pm and then by the time I had the children in bed it was nigh on 10pm, we're off to bed in a minute so we're lucky that the children had fallen asleep in the car so that they were tired enough to fall into a deep sleep straight away.

Now I have to persuade Oscar to get out of Bronny's bedroom so that we can go to bed too.

Ni ni all see you tomorrow.

It's so not fair

The forum really has well and truly failed and is dead as a dodo at the moment, I think that it will not recover from this either, I think it's got so bad that people don't bother coming on anymore because they know that there are no new posts to bother coming to read. It's my own fault, I kinda gave up on it over the last few weeks because I'm so devastated that it's died, if I had worked at keeping it going the other members would have been willing to try and help too so we'd have an active forum, but as it goes right now we have nothing, we have me spending nearly £15 per quarter, that's £45 a year, for what? For me to watch as the forum dies a miserable death. For me to be upset when I see that there's been 3 new posts since the same time the day before. OH fook.

I don't think there is any fixing of it this time because I think I've allowed too much crap to go on and this has caused people to want to avoid the forum and they were the people that were creating the most posts.

I'm going to pop over there now and post some ratty pics but I bet they only get 1 or 2 responses because there is just no-one around to post. Coral is trying hard to come back bless her, but she couldn't have attempted it at a worse time lol bless her.

Becca never comes on anymore, she's probably too busy getting drunk with her college chums hahaha bless, she's a lovely lass and I miss her company, we used to talk a LOT in PM but now it's all gone :(

One of my main problems is that I cannot cope with change, and when people come and then go I can't deal with it, I try and hold on so much but with no avail, I'm a desperate prat.

That's me done.

Hmmmm

I dreamt that their Father was back on the scene and trying to fight for custody last night, he was winning too because he claimed he could provide a loving home for them, and him and his wife (Dawn, they've got to be married by now, unless he cheated on her too) were fit and healthy so they could provide the proper love and attention that the children required.

I don't know if he ever would do that to be honest, I think he is happy with his new home and doesn't want it disturbing with his past children. He's forgotten about them and doesn't give a monkey's now he knows he cannot make any money out of them and that seeing them only means that he has to pay money for them.

I know his parents desperately want to see them, I would love to be able to let them see them but it's just too much trouble, Simon would have to take them for a start and then we'd constantly be worried that "he" would be there to take them away, even if he didn't want them he'd probably nab them and take them abroad just to break my heart and rip me to pieces.

I wish I could arrange for his parents to see them, I know it would bring everything up again, but I think the children would actually benefit from seeing them and I'm damn sure that his parents would benefit because I know how desperately they want to see them. Simon won't let me though because I would have to go with them for a start and he knows how much I hate seeing them and how they have made me feel in the past.

We are off to Simon's parents' this weekend for Simon's Mum's Birthday which is actually on Friday but she works so we cannot go on Friday, also there would be no-one else there as they are all out at work, school or college. To be honest I'm half not looking forward to it because of the way Euan has been playing up lately, and the way he is really naughty when it comes to being hometime. Will have to make sure that their DS's are fully charged and that they don't go on them in the car they have to wait until we get there to play on them. That way they will last a bit longer so that they can take their time up more. They'll only beg to play on James' or Adam's games stations though.

I wish that Mum would invite us there more often but Sundays are for Dave, no-one can take over going for dinner on a Sunday, it's Dave's day and that's final! :( Apart from Christmas and Birthdays, we were invited to their house ONCE last year, they were invited here loads and only turned up half of the time :( It's just not fair, we're of no interest to them whatsoever, they've got their precious Olivia and David and Caroline now, they don't need anyone else. Unless Clare is over of course, then everything changes. Mum said she thought I had gotten over the "you don't love me" scenario, I did get over that ages ago, but it still doesn't stop me thinking that she doesn't love me as much as she does my siblings and their wedded partners.

I am a failure, I have failed all my life in their eyes, I have never done anything to make them proud of me, my Children are now fucked up because of what has happened with their Dad, so none of us can do anything outstanding to make them think WOW. :( :( :(

*sulks*

We're going to be a week late on the rent again this month :( It's Christmas that has done it, if I hadn't spent all that money at Tesco for other people's presents and stuff I'd have been able to repay the rent and not go behind at all. Hopefully next month my DLA will come in, in time to replace the money that we are behind so that we can start again with the rent and from March onwards we'll be able to pay the rent on time. I don't know how we've managed to even survive this long what with the little amount of money that is left in my bank after everything that goes out. I need to change this payment for the electric that I have made to Simon so that it goes out every other week as I cannot afford every week like we're doing, I need the "other" week so I can get shopping that week on a Tuesday when I know exactly how much money I have got.

Anyway, I'm hungeee so I'm off to get something to eat.

TTFN

Bits and Bobs

Lol just reminded me of the children's programme, bless heheh (I used to sit and watch it with Euan actually!)

How many parents have found themselves watching a channel from the KIDS selection on Sky or NTL? Come on, admit it, you're so used to your kids watching them that you select one for yourself to watch.

I know that Dave and Caroline will have done so that Dave can watch his precious Spongebob Squarepants heheh I love him too, but I have to say I wouldn't decorate my aquarium with the pieces from the show :P

Speaking of aquariums, ours is going pretty well and does look like a semi stagnant pond now, the plants have grown like wildfire spreading across the water (yes I know fire and water don't mix, it was just a saying that happens to be mildly inappropriate but my thick brain couldn't think of a better one at the time) The snakeheads seem very happy indeed.

In the terrarium opposite we have water and land for Simon's 3inch Rainbow Crab, who has now eaten the baby ones all up, Simon watched as he crushed one of them to mush in his pincers and then ate it.

We know we have a boy because of the two big claws, girls only have small claws, males have bigger claws for fighting and showing off. (typical)

Going through to the hall we have 5 fancy rats, 3 common 1 roan and 1 dumbo.

Then, upstairs we have 18 tarantulas (eek?) a scorpion, Black Emperor to be precise, a trapdoor spider (he's a spider not a T), a pacman frog (Fantasy Horned Frog), and now our precious possession, or pet or whatever is our Yemen Chameleon (Veiled Chameleon) then there's my two roborovski hamsters.

Usually on ours or Bronny's bed you'll find Oscar our Turkish Van Cat :)

Going back downstairs, and outside you'll find Jasmin a Lionhead and Theodoor a Lionhead X

That's it then, our menagerie of pets :) it's just typical that I have chosen pets that require cleaning out on a regular basis. Simon cleans the rabbits out, I can't physically do it anymore, even just sitting down I can't do what is required to clean them out. :( So the only time I get to see them is when I pass them in the wheelchair on our way out. Not much fun. We are contemplating rehoming them to be honest, to someone who will give them far much love and attention than we are able to give them. True, in the Summer I'll be able to sit out there and talk with them but that's not really fair on my buns (teehee).

Going back to the ratties, they are getting a bit stinky poo so it's coming close to clean out day for them, it takes so much longer now they're in separate cages, naughty blacks for fighting and beating up the babies. Well, strictly speaking they are not babies any more, but they are still smaller than my original trio of ratties. It's been a fair while since we've allowed them out for a tour of Bronny's bed, will have to contemplate doing it soon. They need a bath too, stinky buggers. Perhaps I'll bath them when I've cleaned them out that way nice clean smelling ratties can go into a nice clean smelling cage. Then they'll go around re-marking everything in sight lol. They could play on Bronny's bed whilst drying then as her room seems to be the warmest in the house.

My O2 Machine seems to be kicking out a fair amount of heat at the moment, which means that there is a lot of nitrogen coming out (the engineer said that when the Nitrogen is extracted and pumped out it causes the heat underneath the machine to blow out with it) There must either be more Nitrogen in the air or the machine is just working up a heat for nothing lol It seems rather selfish of me to be taking the oxygen out of the air and pumping the Nitrogen back into the air, that must mean that when the children and Simon walk past the machine they are getting a higher amount of nitrogen in their bodies, I wonder what that must do to them long term? :S eeek

QUOTE: "There are two main things that these nitrogen compounds affect: the environment and human health. When nitrous oxide (N2O) reaches the stratosphere it helps destroy the ozone layer, resulting in higher levels of UV radiation and increasing the risk of skin cancer and cataracts. Ironically, when N2O is nearer to the Earth’s surface it can actually make ozone, which can become smog on a still and sunny day. Smog has been linked to respiratory problems, lung damage, increased risks of cancer and a weakening of the immune system. "

Crap.

I wonder how much Nitrogen the machine is releasing into the air? That is scary to be honest, if I'm causing a problem to my children and to Simon. Surely I am breathing it in on top of my 100% oxygen too because I am not literally just breathing my tube I breathe normal air on top of that. (which means effectively that I am getting more than 100% oxygen in my body, I am getting the 100%@2lpm from the machine and then some from the natural air around us. ??

Oh god, I'm on a ramble again, I had better stop before it gets any worse.

PS This blog is a copy of what I put on Facebook Notes

Thankfully

Euan was in a better mood when he got home from school, only problem was that he was totally hyper, I let them go outside tonight before tea so that they could burn some energy off, Simon said I was making a mistake because Euan and/or Bronny would expect it every night, but I don't THINK that they will, they might but so they should they SHOULD be allowed out to play when it's dry, they are kids for heaven's sake they deserve to be able to have FUN to run around and burn some energy off and generally BE KIDS.

Though saying that, it's me that has to sit there and watch them playing because they can't be trusted not to piss around and be naughty so I have to watch them. When I don't watch them they start being really stupid and doing really stupid stuff which is either dangerous, going to hurt one of them, get them filthy or lose a toy over the fence, various stupid things they've been known to get up to. Also the grass is still "wintery" at the moment which means if they play on it they will make it all muddy and it will ruin the grass as well as making their clothing that muggins here has to wash filthy.

Whilst Euan has been "grounded" at school he has come home in clean clothes that are actually suitable to wear the next day, today because they did the Big Bird Watch outside, he came home muddy on his shirt, apparently someone pushed him over :S

I don't know what it is with that school, either Euan is a blatant liar or the kids are all bloody nutters who race round breaking other people's stuff, fighting, bullying and pushing them over all the time, I've never known a school like it, it just does my head in. Take his birthday for instance, he took a few bits and bobs in after it and they were destroyed, he wore his watch and it was broken because the cretins literally ripped it off his wrist! It makes me sick!

When we have discussed Euan I am going to talk about the other children especially in Euan's class and try to explain that either Euan has become the gang leader and since he arrived all this aggression started, or it was already insitu and Euan just got pulled into it because he wants to do what his friends are doing, hopefully it is the latter although that is bad enough.

Euan would never have done something like that in his old school, in fact Euan was renowned for being although a little bit hyper at times, completely normal and excellently well behaved, he'd NEVER EVER dream of doing something like he did the other day, so why the hell, how the hell, has he turned into the type of evil child who would do something like that now? If I were the parents of Connor I would be totally devastated and exceptionally angry and would insist that each child be reprimanded and required to apologise formerly to Connor and both parents after school or in front of the whole school.

I forgot to say a while back that I've bought an epilady to use instead of shaving in the bath and then having to sit in my own removed hair and scum whilst I shave other areas, I can't shave in the shower because I can't keep balance and the bath seat doesn't fit the bath properly so I cannot safely sit down in the shower to shave. Anyway, I'm rather nervous about using it, I mean it plucks hairs out so, does it hurt, I don't know, Eeek, I have to use it though because it cost me £15 (was a bargain at BigD, discontinued line probably). Hopefully it's not at BigD because they recalled it, though it would be illegal to sell a recalled product surely? *doh*

My toes feel funny tonight. I have my toe socks on (the ones that have glove like attachments at the end purposely tailored for each toe so each toe has it's own little socky on and it's all knitted in with the main part of the sock so it's all together. Normally they feel OK but tonight it's obvious on my right foot that I have the toe sock on and it just feels "strange" not painful or awkward or anything, just strange. heheh

Simon is watering his tarantulas (not so they grow, I mean providing them with a drink of water) lol geesh that was quick, one minute he was watering them and the next minute he was going downstairs, strange man, he can't decide whether or not he is coming or going bless him. He's going to wake the kids up in a minute (he's pissing about unlocking and locking the bathroom door *rolls eyes*)

Baron Greenback has spent more time hiding, sitting right close to the UV light than he has basking today, I hope he's OK. It's a shame we can't have a sensor for the basking light so it only comes on when he comes onto his basking perch, that way we would be saving a tonne of electricity each day and it could be left 24/7 incase it's really early in the morning and he wants to bask so he can go and switch it on, though he doesn't bother with it until about lunchtime anyways, it takes him forever to wake up (typical man really then? lol) People on the reptile forum have said that he needs the UV light for 12 hours a day and that if he's not within so many feet of it it won't work, well most of the day he is further away from it than what they said (can't remember now) because he's close to the bottom or covered by the dense foliage in the middle (height) of the flexarium.

Right, tis nigh on 10pm and I'm tired yes I am so I am going to get a cuppa, fill up my drink bottle and go to bed I think.

Sleep tight world.

x

ARRRRGGHHHH

Euan had another flid this morning, whatever I did he was not happy with, he just wanted this that and the other but he didn't want to play ball he just wanted me to run round after him trying to calm him down I think, problem is the more I do that the more attention he gets and the more attention he gets the more he's going to realise that being naughty gets him attention, which is why I am supposed to ignore the bad and praise the good, but it just doesn't work in this house, whatever we try doesn't work. If we tell him off he has more of a flid at me when Simon is not watching, whereas if we don't tell him off he just gets more and more worked up until he has such a raging fit that he ends up going to school late because he refuses to walk to school, Simon gets cross with him and just takes Bronny, then when he comes back he goes straight upstairs and I have to persuade and beg him to take Euan, this happens every single time there's a big flid.

Euan's temper and anger is not HIM though, it's an alien that is attacking him and it needs to either be calmed down or removed from him, I'm guessing that calming down will be CAMS approach towards sorting him out. Whether that be with sessions which will just piss him off in the long run and I'll have him getting even more pissed with me, or medication which I honestly think would be the best option, although I do not want Euan to be sedated it would be such a relief to have a day where he doesn't get worked up because Bronny has "looked at him" or because he can't have a donut when I've said no.

BRB need toilet.

Sorry about that, nature calls and all that, cleaned toilet whilst I was at it, well if I didn't do it no-one else would it would look like a public toilet and probably smell like one too.

I'm trying to remember how old I was when Mum started having me doing jobs like cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen sides down etc etc, I'm thinking of perhaps getting Bronny to do the simple jobs where she doesn't have to use the chemicals to clean, like wiping over the sink at the end of every day, cleaning the bath with just elbow grease and water lol, things like that, to make it easier on me because I have to clean the bathroom, it's one room that Simon won't do, he'll put chemicals down the toilet if I ask him to, but he won't clean the bath or the sink, he seems to be oblivious to the fact that because the bath is so low down it is one of the jobs that I DO do that cause me so much pain and suffering :( *stops complaining*

This is the remote control that we have bought for Simon's Mum lol HOW big is it? We put it next to a standard Sky remote so you could see the size difference. It's a piss take because they've just bought their very first TV since their last one blew up when Simon was a kid, we are going to say, we thought you would need a large remote so you can see what you are doing with the buttons.

I'm thinking of getting one for Gramps, I think it might be useful for him so he doesn't have to put his glasses on just to look at the buttons of the remote control, and so that the buttons are easier to find, would take him a while to learn how to use it though I think, which might cause a problem. He would probably get pissed off with it and either put it in the bin or put it away and just get it out when he knows we're going to see him lol

Right, I best bugger off and do my dailies now.

x

Ant Colony Wonder

Giant Ant Colony is a World Wonder - Watch more Animal Videos

Do I?

Blog for the sake of blogging? I don't know, none of my readers have complained about my blogging content, nothing ever gets commented on though, so either they feel no need to comment, or I'm being ignored because my blog is crap! rofl

Went out to B&Q and Tesco today, Simon had to buy a box and a tube to make a drainage and collection system for the water in the flexarium to save him having to stand and transfer it to a bowl to tip in the sink by the aid of a turkey baster, not a fun operation when you have to do it on a daily basis lol

The dripper is now working perfectly and Simon believes that he has fixed the drainage problem (there was a leak) on the flexarium. So hopefully all is well. Baron has spent a lot of his day hiding today which is strange, he has eaten and basked and had a drink though and Simon said if he wasn't well he wouldn't have done those things. It's just strange because he was out for most of the day yesterday. Maybe he has days where he is out, days when he hides, maybe he just had a bad hair day and didn't want to be seen lol

I haven't seen many beautiful colours on him as yet, he seems to be keeping all the wonderful colours that he CAN turn to himself, when he puffs up and hisses at Simon he can be quite colourful, not quite sure why he did that to be honest, maybe it's all the faffing around with his house Simon has done to day (thinking about it that's probably why he is hiding, because he is not settled with the stuff we are still doing to perfect his home.

To be honest we should have THOUGHT things through a little bit better before we got him like where he is going to get the water from, yes OK a drip system, but we didn't think about where the water was going to go afterwards did we? Oh no we didn't lol if we'd have thought about drainage in the first place Simon would have been able to make a proper "plug hole" in the flexarium *rolls eyes* never mind we can't always plan ahead.

Right, tis time for CSI now so I'm off to watch it fellow friends See ya later!

A very crap night

Jebus was last night crap, I didn't drop off until just gone midnight, I woke up at 2am sweating my ass off, so I took the safety pad off the bed because that's what makes me 100 times hotter, it took me forever to get back to sleep, I could hear music playing like a television constantly with music in the background. Then I woke up again at 4am and that was it then I was wide awake! Absolutely knackered but wide awake, I finally got back off to sleep some time around 06:40 was the last time I looked at the clock, then the alarm to wake us up went off at 07:30! I could have cried, I'm not feeling too bad right now considering, apart from feeling very very tired of course, I mean I don't feel ill. At the moment anyway. (I normally feel rather poorly if I've not slept too well and end up in bed all the following day, but I seem to be doing OK at the moment)

At one point when I was trying to get to sleep I lay on the pillow and I swear to god it felt like somethingS were eating my ear in and out, like I had laid down on a pile of maggots or something, I could feel the wriggling literally and I could HEAR the wriggling, it was very scary, then I lifted my head swiftly off the pillow when I felt a maggot climbing into my ear deeper and deeper. Obviously that didn't really happen but it was horrible enough, I think I must have drifted into sleep at that point to feel and hear that because obviously we're not into putting maggots in the bed.

Between 4am and 06:40 all I could hear was music in my ear, I was tempted to get up and check the kids to make sure they were not up that early and playing on their DS's because they have a habit of having the sound up when they think that we won't be able to hear, however Euan's latest habit is turn it up and then turn it down when we tell him to, but then turn it straight back up within minutes of being told to turn it down again, this cycle goes on the entire time he plays on his DS, it especially does my head in when he's playing his shooting games.

We are booked in to see the headmaster and Euan's teacher together after school on Thursday, I'm not looking forward to that I know that I'm going to end up crying because I'm so ashamed of my boy that he would do what he has done :( I was supposed to be discussing things with Charlene but I wasn't around that Saturday morning as we were collecting Baron, then in the afternoon the excitement of it all ensured that I had a nice deep sleep, well as deep as can be expected, I still woke up exhausted.

That's what gets me, I wake up naturally after my afternoon nap which means that my body SHOULD be saying "you've had enough sleep now get yer ass out of bed" however when I get up I am just as knackered and feeling like poop as when I went to bed, I'm wondering whether I should bother having a sleep. Then again judging by Christmas this year, I definitely do need the sleep, it's not something that I can casually decide not to have. Even when we are out or something and it rearranges the day I still need to get home at some point and have a sleep.

I woke up early yesterday afternoon which enabled me to give my children some attention before their tea, they seemed to enjoy the fact that I was with them and playing with them instead of being fast asleep. I always feel guilty for sleeping through the after school before teatime, but if I have to I just have to! I can't just give up on the idea of sleeping.

So many times when I have put the children to bed, when they've both FINALLY gone by 8pm maybe later, I just fall asleep on the bed myself because I am so knackered, obviously I don't WANT to because I would appreciate being able to go online and talk to my good friends on WLM and see what is going on in the world, and I'm getting addicted to Facebook also and there's not that many people that use Facebook in the day so after I've updated my status and say, made a few posts on people's walls, flung a bit of food and such, there's not much else to do. I love flinging food on a sneak attack in the day because those who work or go to school inevitably lose and I'm like !woo hoo another win! rofl which is very cruel of me really don't ya think?

A messed up world

I have so many friends who are going through different problems at the moment, I just keep remembering back to this time 10 years ago say, when there wasn't as many things going on as there is now, or at least they were not out in the open.

A 93 year old lady has been attacked in her own home and hospitalised today/last night. My friend is beside herself and in a complete mess poor poor person, I don't know what to say to help, I assured them that I would do what they asked of me and I have done, so at least I've done a tiny tiny bit towards helping if not directly to help the cause.

Another friend has a Sister who is having strange requests from her In Laws which is causing problems and a big argument.

Another friend has just split with her fella because he has started to bat the other way, apparently he was secretly bi and practising it for years and he finally came out in the open because he wanted to be come completely gay and not bi. What an insult, I love you but you don't have bollocks, sorry love. rofl

Not heard from my parents in a while, Mum should have phoned me by now to see how things are going, but probably she's had more important things to think about, yes, I know I could have phoned her, but every now and again I like to wait, wait it out and see how long it takes her to realise she's not found out about something and call me. Sometimes she's so completely wrapped up in her own wonderful life with her wonderful Son, daughter in law and daughter, her wonderful daughter, son in law and son and daughter, then there's the wonderful niece and nephew. It's a lot to think about you know, it really is, no wonder she never phones til it's all blown over.

Darnit and tartar sauce. I should have remembered what weekend had just past so that I could provide more support to another of my friends, see what I mean, another messed up friend, another proof that this world is so fucked up it needs fixing soon before all the films about fucked up worlds where every man kills to survive, becomes a reality, or something like that anyway.

Then theres my friends that cut themselves, it REALLY TRULY hurts me every time they do, not because I'm a selfish bitch and because everything has to be about me (wonder how true that is?) it's because I CARE and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, it worries me that those who cut can take it too far and really do themselves a serious injury or even quietly bleed to death and obviously... die. :(

I hate death, it is so frightening yet so eerily welcoming to those who want to end it all. Does death sit there on the end of your bed and say "come on you know you want to" sort of jaunts, or does it just wait for that moment to take away your soul to the forgotten land.

Is death the end, or like some say, is it only the beginning?

Says me.

x

What a wonderful sight

Just watched Baron Greenback eating mealworms offered up to him on a plant saucer by Simon, his tongue is just amazing! Heheh he seemed to like them very much :)

I loves him to bits. I was in tears earlier from relief when I realised that he wasn't dying he was merely shedding lol lmao bless, well how was I supposed to knowthat that is what was happening?

*feels dumb now*

So, me likes me new pet :)

Alphabetti Spaghetti

Well, what can I say about the title? Basically I was thinking of a title and that is the first thing that came into my head, so it will do, it doesn't HAVE to have anything to do with the text following it after all.

Simon is faffing around with the basking lamp for Baron Greenback, he's going to put a lower wattage bulb in and try to hang it from the ceiling instead of having it hooked on the curtain rail, that way we won't risk burning the Baron lol

We still have to get a smaller UV tube and a reflector for it because at the moment we have one that is hanging by about a foot over each side of the flexarium and we are being contaminated by the rays because it's just a bulb, fluorescent style tube with no covering. I am supposed to be careful in the sun with my moles and now I'm doing the equivalent of sitting in a very weak but still potent sun lounger lol would be nice to be tanned though lol

Euan's behaviour has not been too bad since the two day incidents, first the gang fight, then the day after the sharp pencil incident, I could cry you'd think that someone was injecting him with a naughty virus, this is not Euan in the slightest, I cannot understand what is wrong with him, I really do not know, poor little man, I just hope it's curable because he doesn't WANT to be like that he WANTS to be a good boy, you can tell. He sits and cries when he's been naughty and is all apologetic and that's without being prompted, he just suddenly stops being naughty, bursts into tears (usually) and says sorry, he genuinely doesn't want to be naughty, he's a wonderful boy with a fantastic nature and a fantastic personality, I just wish we could sort out these anger issues then he'd be perfect again.

Bronny was in a total arse this morning, she just wouldn't stop moaning and bitching about things, she's having an early night tonight, in fact Euan can have one too considering how tired he looks lately.

I'm wondering if it's a lack of vegetables and goodness in his diet that is contributing to whatever is making Euan naughty, what I mean is that he insists on eating crap every day and hardly ever eats something decent so perhaps he's just not getting enough food or the right kind of food in his tum, I have to be more strict with their diet and start pushing vegetables on them again, they HAVE to eat healthily really they do, it's breaking my heart that all they ever want is crap. It might help if I just stop giving them crap food and make them proper food then they can eat it or go hungry, simple as that.

We should all eat healthy meals cooked by me every day, I should be more insistent that they have something that is good and filling instead of them just having toast or pizza or cereal for their tea, yes they've had a school dinner in the day but it seems to me that the school dinner is oft not eaten and it's not enough to keep their little bodies going anyway. Bronny is going to have Tuna with pasta for dinner tonight and Euan will have baked beans and toast, I shall get more vegetables in and meat products so they can have a potato product, vegetables and a meaty product for their dinners instead, if they seem to be putting on too much weight then I can just cut down the portions of what they are having. Euan looks really unhealthy and like he's not had a proper meal in decades, not true but I THOUGHT that the dinners were adequate enough but alas I was wrong.

Simon is still faffing with the bulb and the lamp to go over the chameleon enclosure, bless him, it's a difficult job to try and invent a way for the bulb to sit nicely in the lampshade whose hole where you put the bulb is too big so he has to invent a way for the bulb to hang off the hook with the chain to hold the lampshade in the right place. YAY he's sorted it, how long for is the next question heheh.

Baron now has a perfick basking area, he just needs to use it lol, he's down in the Ivy plant at the moment, would help really if that was taller for him to sit on it higher up instead of down in the shade, perhaps he's cooked himself on the 100watt bulb that was in there eeek.

Everyone likes him by looking at the responses on the forum, he is a beaut, I'm hoping to get some pictures of him of my own eventually I just have to wait for him to be in a good position for me to take a pic easily.

Here he is:



Meet Baron Greenback, Simon named him, if you've never heard of Baron Greenback then you have never lived.

Anyway I need to sleep now so I'm going to love ya and leave ya.

Have fun

x

Oh bugger

I made another friend on facebook, an old best friend from school, we were chatting away and I was talking about Euan and his anger management issues and stuff and all of a sudden she went offline and now I can't view her profile either, I have a feeling that she has "blocked" me if that is possible. I don't know though maybe I'm being paranoid. I did go on about the crap in my life though so maybe she just thought she didn't want to hear about it all. Bless her. Never mind, I'll just talk to everyone else and just wonder how she is getting on, I can always message her via other friends to talk to her and say sorry and explain why I typed what I did, she asked me for an update and I gave it to her, it's not my fault that EVERYTHING has gone wrong in my life at the moment, what with me being ill and with Euan having so many problems.

Geesh.

On another note I have become friends with a lot of old school friends, it's interesting to know what they are all doing with their lives now, I think I must be the only one that has had such a crapper of a life up until I met Simon, it's not my fault, I'm sure that I didn't do anything to cause it.

Ooops, that wasn't another note, my friends on facebook all have fantastic lives, beautiful children in most cases and are getting on swimmingly which is really good to hear. I still can't believe that one of my friends was an Orc in LOTR and had a speaking part and he was an extra in Star Wars the Sith one (can't remember if it's Return or REvenge of the sith and can't be bothered to look it up right now) <-- which isn't like me because usualy I google like mad rofl

I haven't blogged for AGES and AGES I'm sorry, been busy most of the time not even coming on the lappy, when I do catching up on the forum and on Facebook. Facebook is a full time thing if you let it be, it's daft how many things you can do, I'd be sending drinks, throwing sheep and lordy knows what other animals are available to throw at each other and as for food fling, well I'd compete in every competition that it gives to get food fling points so I can sneak attack my friends and give them a mere 2 hours to respond lol

Well, the chameleon is here and looking absolutely beautiful, he has been an asset to our lives I think, he's really cheered me up anyway and apart from contemplating some mice from Laura from the Welsh Rescue, I don't want any other pets.

Simon has called him Baron Greenback and wouldn't give me a chance to choose a more apt name (as he's a Lizard not a Frog/Toad) but he's decided it and there it goes, bit unfair really considering he is OUR pet, Simon doesn't like the idea of sharing him at all, but it's not fair if he doesn't especially as he used my birthday money to purchase some of the stuff required for Baron in the first place.

I was just about to go and look at him when the timer for the lights switched them off lol so no looksee for me tonight because I will disturb him whilst he sleeps if I look now. :( Hopefully he is going to be OK living with us and he's going to be happy and healthy for a long time going. :) He has a couple of white spots on him that I told Simon about but he didn#t even look at them he just said they're probably a few pigments that have gone white instead of going the colour that he is. I think it looks like someone spilled paint on him even though they wouldn't have done.

His old owner emailed Simon and asked for pictures of Baron in his housing that he is in now bless, he wants to know that we are looking after him properly ;) I can'tsay I blame him I would want to know what housing he was in.

It's like when I handed the kittens over, I still want to know how they are now and request pictures of them because I miss them so much bless them.


Right, I'm off to bed, am bloody knackered lol night night.

Waffle waffle waffle

(COPIED FROM FACEBOOK NOTES)

We're off to the doctors for the dreaded thing that a woman has to do at 11something, not looking forward to that, not in the slightest, I've already cancelled lots of appointments and missed the last one, accidentally on purpose like. I cannot stand them, well, you have to lie down, but nevertheless they are no fun at all.

Why cannot a man have something degrading have to be done to them on a regular basis, cough and drop is nothing, they do that in the bathroom at home alone anyway. I don't think ANY man on this planet does not know the intricate ins and outs of his manhood. He probably has every millimetre of it mapped out on the back of his brain so that he knows it in the dark.

EWww. *shuts up*

Euan's arm looked like it was getting better yesterday, I just cannot for the life of me understand how on earth he could get a boil/infection, though he is a pretty grubby boy, but that would have had to have started in one of his pores, I just can't think what it could be. Poor little man he said it's hurting him again today whilst I was giving him his antibiotics and the cream which I buggered up again and gave him a hippo sized squirt instead of a "thin layer of cream over the affected area" lol

I wonder if Rachael's kitty has been found yet, that's a bloody busy road for a little kitty to be visiting the neighbourhood in. We keep Oscar in because we don't want him to end up as Road Kill. If you hit a dog it is law to report it, if you hit a cat you don't have to, what's with that? Poor kitties deserve some recognition and respect too?

Was looking at pictures and can see that Becca is thoroughly enjoying college social life, I just hope on all hopes that she is working hard too ;) (don't hit me becca rofl) I just don't want you to get kicked off the course.

I enjoyed the social life of a pint at lunchtime at the pub over the road from the college, they must have a steady trade from that college it's the nearest thing towards civilisation to the college. I think I spent more time in the pub than I did at home actually eventually, we'd go to the pub at lunchtime, we'd visit it at tea time before we went home on the bus, then train, then I'd walk from the train station to home.

That was a boring statement. *yawns* I'm really tired and feeling monged this morning, I've increased medication to relieve the pain though so it could be a reaction to that until I get used to the higher levels again.

I've been so badly in pain the last few days, Sod my Doc's request to reduce different meds, I'd much rather not suffer the pain thankyee, at least without suffering as much pain (you have to understand I have the migraine equivalent of pain all over my body 24/7, that's the level of tolerable pain I suffer, anything above that and I will have to talk about getting another pain relief) I can get on with being a Mummy and a g/f fiance type person, basically chief cook and bottle washer, though I don't wash up, the dishwasher does that, and Simon loads the dishwasher. ALso I don't cook, I just put things in the microwave or oven or grill etc and hope that they come out looking remotely cooked and fit for human consumption. If I created masterpieces and cooked them to perfection then I would gladly call myself "a cook" but as I just shove stuff in the oven for the time it says and the temperature it says, I cannot profess to be a chef, even a cook.

I am waffling again. The pain, that's what I was talking about, anyway, I've been bed ridden for most of the last week or so, I can't sit on the sofa when I'm in too much pain as it just makes the pain worse, I don't know why it must be the position on the sofa compared to that of the bed. I want to try and stop SITTING on the bed though because that's how I buggered the mattress that we had before the new bed (not this new bed, or the new bed before that, the one before that (long story)) because I ended up creating a big pit where my arse was always sitting up, thus being in the same position day in day out, and then eventually the mattress started collapsing under me and I ended up having to lie across this immense pit that my ass (it's huge you know, I have a siren attached to it so when I walk backwards or go to sit down I get a "warning this vehicle is reversing" sound and beep beep coming out, I also support a pair of hazard triangles and a wide load sticker don't ya know?) had created. Not comfortable at all.

I waffled. I am a waffle, only I don't have little square spaces. *yawn*

Doc said...

It's a boil apparently, some kind of scary boil anyway, he's prescribed fucidin cream and flucloxacillin (I googled spelling lol) medicine (it's pink! Euan was a bit upset that it was girly pink and not yellow lol) I'm pleased though because it's not the one that sends him hyperactive. We put some cream on and gave him a spoon of medicine before he left us to go back to school, hopefully just in time for his lunch.

The doc seemed very confused that we had let it get so bad, he didn't understand that it was only last week that it went big, and then overnight Saturday it grew three times bigger, it wasn't always that big otherwise I would have done something about it. Poor Euan.

I'm surprised that he is not remotely bothered about the pain to be honest, surely it must hurt, it's certainly given him a temperature and a grumpy aspect.

I just hope that the medicine makes it better so that he doesn't have to have it lanced or flushed :S though I don't think they do that unless it's an abscess? But I guess if it's a non-curable boil on a child's arm they'd want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

At least that explains his recent behaviour, I should remember, I say this time and time again, that if he is especially playing up, to check his temperature regularly because he is usually poorly and fighting some kind of infection.

I have lost count of the times I've tried to remind myself this.

Anyway.. that's the low down on Euan's Alien being.

Remember the alien in Euan's arm?

It has gotten 2-3 times bigger so we decided enough was enough and we have booked him in to see the Doctor today at 11:50 I think we said. I'm worried about it because whatever happens it is going to hurt, if they cut it open to remove all the infection that will hurt, if they squeeze it that will hurt, the only option that will not hurt is giving him antibiotics which I am betting that they will do, other than that it'll be in to see the nurse I'm guessing, I don't even know WHAT it is though so I can't really guess on a prognosis or anything. I just hope that whatever happens they get rid of it because he's had it for months on end now and it's getting daft. Thinking back, he has had a temperature with it and he has been a little shit which means he's not feeling well, he's always majorly grumpy and short tempered when he is ill.

So, time to give Euan some good luck vibes for his lovely bubble alien on his arm.

Going Public

I am debating whether or not to go public with my blog, I'd like to share my daftness with more people but I'm not sure whether I should or not, I think I'd be safer just hiding with the odd person invited to read the blog, I could always invite more people later on it's not as if I am restricted with the amount of readers I am allowed, at least I don't think I am restricted on readers.

I'm tired right now so I'm going to have to have a sleep before teatime I think.

Catch you all later :)

xxx

Today heheh

Well, I never I can't believe how many of my family are on Facebook now, even including my Mother! rofl that's got to be a bad sign, when yer Mother is on Facebook, I mean come on? She is 56 this year and has decided to welcome herself to technology rofl I am waiting for her to join msn so that I can talk to her of an evening and laugh at how slow she is with the typing rofl. Bless I'm so cruel to my Mumsie. it's great that she's finally trying to get connected to it all :) It's a shame that it took my BROTHER to introduce me to her though, I mean why couldn't she find me? :( It's not as if there are that many Carol Venables;s on facebook is it? There is 10 including me actually rofl and that's not including CAROLine s either god knows how many there is of them.

It is rather strange to see someone with your name, I mean if you had a name like Sarah Smith you'd not be surprised because come on, how common are both of those names? And the chances of them being together? There we go, lots and lots of people. My name isn't really that common though, Carol Venables, it's not common at all really. Tis not no tis not.

OK,, so it is, I just googled me and there are quite a lot, and a lot of Carol Venable too who is a professional by all rights heheh. Here's me just a boring done nothing achieved nothing, lost nearly everything disabled dork in Cannock, UK. :( *stops the self pity*

OK so I'm deviating from the point here, incidentally there is a Carol Venables on Deviant Art too rofl

On page 2 of google it showed my name a few times for the forum and for another forum in the forum profile it's got my nick name and full name. maybe I should edit that out, but then again I've never posted anything to get me in trouble, or anything personal in that forum so I just forget about it, especially as I won't be going back there again. gnome-look.org or somet like that, hmmm don't think I'll be needing that no not I heheheh no no I not. Unless I wanted to reinstall kde or gnome on either of my pc's er, I don't think so certainly not yet anyway.

I think I am sharing the bedroom with the ghost cat, I just saw something out of the corner of my eye, a dark colour so I knew immediately it wasn't Oscar, then I heart the noise of when they open their mouths and ready their tongues for a licking festival, that is exactly how it sounded heheh.. *looks for cat* I can hear it but not see it. Either I'm going totally effin loopy or there really was a cat in this room. It would have to have been Oscar who is not in the bedroom at the moment I've just checked for him in fact I'll most likely find him in Bronny's bedroom if he's not downstairs. Oh, he's downstairs, so that confirms that it was not Oscar. (I just heard Simon telling him he couldn't come upstairs)

Right, now I have done the ghost story it is time for me to go to bed, I got to hurry up because Simon will moan at me and because I want to go for a cuppa too.

Huggles and lubs

Carol

xx

Weeeee

Have ordered 2 off Micro SD cards, one for the mobile and the other for my R4 card to play on the DS :) I wish I had ordered the R4 with the card and I'd have it already then, but I think this way I've done it cheaper as I've managed to get two inclusive of postage for £8.40 :) woot. They were only £2.20 each and £4.00 postage which I admit is a lot considering it's only the cost of a first class stamp but most of the 2Gig SD cards were advertised at being £4 last week so that is where the difference is, they're making it look like a bargain and then whopping great big postage prices on the thing, bit Jack really but still, just like ebay.

I am really looking forward to finding out what games like Animal Crossing have that make them so addictive and to see if I get addicted to it instead of sitting online or asleep all day, would be good to have something else to do to try and reduce the amount of hours I sleep. I need sleep in the days but I honestly don't need as much sleep as I've started getting, I don't think I do anyway because it has started to disrupt my bed time sleep, well going to bed at 8 or 9pm is screwing it up anyway, I need to stop going to bed so early and just waiting for it to be time for bed *rolls eyes* my friends would be far happier to witness me in the evening anyway lol

Oh, we managed to get Bronwyn some shoes, this was after a tantrum of hers because she didn't want the only pair of Mothercare shoes that looked like they fit her, they were £15, we had to go back into Clarks where she was measured (incidentally good job she was measured because she is 1 1/2 on one foot and 2 on the other instead of what I thought (1 and 1 1/2)) we found a pair of shoes in Clarks that were an absolutely perfect fit and she actually liked them too, they were not admittedly the pair that she first chose, but they would do. She wanted the ones with patent on them. I can remember insisting on patent for so many years and never being able to have it, and then when I considered myself too old for patent the only pair of shoes that fit.. you guessed it... were bloody patent. Darnit! rofl I think that was about the time that I ordered myself a pair of £40 Doc Martens and paid Mum weekly for them out of my allowance (it was called pocket money back then).

I am going to make a promise to you innocent bloggy readers now, I am going to try very hard to curb the words that I am using in my blog, the swear words, not what I consider to be OK, like bloody etc, but the F word will no longer be used, even if I am fuming about something I will try very hard to keep it out. I know that some of you use such bad language anyway, but I should not encourage it so I am going to leave it out of my blog from now on, I hope you understand why I'm doing it and don't feel like I'm patronising you. Some people just don't like those words ANYWAY no matter how old or young that they are.

*behaves*

That wasn't a joke or sarcasm or a response to being told off, that was me genuinely realising that such words are not required, no matter how hot ones feelings get, there are other words, far more potent but non swearing words that can be used. The English Language is a wonderful thing when you think about it.

Bugger, I have just remembered that my medication is sitting at the chemist awaiting collection, I have run out of meptid, and the chemist closed at 5pm I think today, in the week he is open until 7pm, but only 5pm on a Saturday, bugger and bother and all sorts. I've run out of meptid, hopefully I won't notice any side effects from not having them, it doesn't warn not to stop taking them suddenly or something like my other meds do, the ones that you risk respiratory failure or a heart attack or both by stopping dead if you are on a reasonably high dose. *eeeks* rofl

I have the farts heheh *blush* big loud embarrassing ones that keep getting me told off by Simon, oh well, he's lucky they are not silent but violent at least the very vocal ones do not smell at all they are just trapped air that go downstairs into the cellar instead of up and out the roof rofl ;)

I think it's a Joe's Pizza night tonight, I so cannot be arsed to sort food out for the kids, I am going to share my chips with them too instead of having 1 between them because even one between them is too many.

Right, time to order and bugger off and stop waffling. brb lol

I'm baaaaack :) heheh

went, was abducted by Euan to help him finish off a jigsaw heh.

I'm off downstairs now so will see you soon.

Bye bye!

x