Drayton Manor 28 August 2009

Went to Drayton Manor yesterday, got value tickets with clubcard vouchers, so instead of paying £80 to get in, I paid £28 worth of clubcard vouchers to get four tickets :) Simon was confused as to why we could make such a great saving and there must be small print or something like that but no, it worked out hunky dory. The kids started going on rides in Thomas Land first, and after we did all but three of the rides in Thomas Land (didn't do troublesome trucks rollercoaster because the queue was way too long and we actually missed another two) we then moved on to the bigger rides in the park, the children and Simon went on Stormforce 10 whilst I sat and watched, even the viewing platform was up a pile of stairs. I have to say that Drayton Manor has to be one of the most anti-disabled places on the planet. I have every mind to complain to them about the way that every queue is either up a slope (steep slope) or upstairs, meaning poor old me couldn't go on them. I would have loved to have gone on a few of the rides but no, not possible, not even the simple ones like Splash Canyon and Pirate Adventure have no way of allowing disabled people access. I really was disappointed, even though I went knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to go on any of the rides, I was expecting to be told by the ride operator that I couldn't go on it because of my oxygen or something, not to be not even able to get up as far as the ride operators. I guess theme parks are not for disabled people :(

The food was disgusting too, it was cold, soggy and they ruined the cheeseburger by putting bloody mustard on it, who puts mustard on a cheeseburger without checking whether you want it or not first? bleugh, it ruined it for Simon too, £20 of food that was disgusting and less than second rate, at least the ducks liked it (we threw lots of chips and stuff for the ducks heheh)

When we had the real icecream in a real icecream cone (the big waffle ones like cornetto but bigger) that was nice and worth the money, three flavours, strawberry, chocolate and vanilla (I had two vanilla balls because I don't like chocolatemuch), they were dripping all over the place and made a sticky mess of all of us, but they were worth it,absolutely gorgeous icecreams they were :D I should expect so at £2.80 each heheh, £11.20 on icecreams *blush* naughty us. All in all we spend nearly £40 just on food without spending a penny on games or souvenirs!

Next time we go if there ever will be a next time, we'll leave the change of clothes and stuff in the car so I don't have to worry about my huge handbag being nicked off me all day, that ruined it quite a lot because I was constantly holding tight on to it and looking around to make sure no-one was trying to nab it, it only had my phone in it as something valuable but my phone has not been insured yet so the last thing I needed was to have it stolen from me.

I'm off now because i'm monged and I cannot fight the mongedness and tiredness anymore :P xx

Huggles

x

Tehya finally stopped me worrying

Tehya finally stopped me worrying today by providing me with an absolutely perfect skin with both eyecaps at 21 inches long :) I am so pleased for her, it was a bloody long shed though at least three - four weeks, I guess I didn't help by keep disturbing her :S

I'm so pleased.

Huggles

x

Borreddd

I need to find a forum which is all the rage and everyone is really friendly and there's no clickyness in the member ranks and there's ALWAYS something to do. That's what our forum used to be like but so many people just cannot be arsed with it anymore. Everyone has changed and moved on. I just need somewhere to be part of and have lots of friendies and always have someone to talk to about something or other. I'm lonely, Mr Lonely, got nobody.. of my own.. *singing snails from Flushed Away* heheh.

I just need somewhere to fit in and feel wanted, at the moment I don't fit anywhere, I'm like a square peg constantly trying to fit in a round hole. *woe is me* never mind, I guess I'm not the only one out there that is craving for friendship.

I should spend more time OFFLINE with my family and really I guess, I think Simon would like me to be sitting next to him whilst he's watching television downstairs. The problem is most of the things that he watches just don't interest me, and a lot of the time I'm monged with my eyes so I cannot focus on what is happening anyway.

Bronny, Euan and Simon are playing COD5 at the moment and all I can hear is Bronny moaning that she is being killed heheh, bless her, she is obviously no good at hiding from Si and Euan, other than that she's just crap at the game heheh.

I don't think COD5 will work on the laptop, it barely works on my computer and that is graphically much better than my laptop. Laptops, unless purpose built for the occasion are no good with games. You can spend thousands on a gaming laptop though, but I just don't see the point, I'm happy with my little chugger. rofl

We have found a piece of kit that allows us to stream films and videos etc from abroad, we sat and watched Monsters Vs Aliens the other morning, which was really good :) Not as good as the trailer gives it credit for but it is good. It's called Grabazoid, it installs a player thingy on your system and you watch the things through that, you can watch TV Shows and various documentaries and such on it. I think it's probably illegal in this country, but as long as I have a free 30 day trial I am going to use it and act ignorantly innocent if something goes wrong. It's the company that have got the thing running that are at fault anyway not me, because i'm not actually downloading anything from them, just streaming.

*rolls eyes* they're playing ANOTHER game of COD5, that'll be an hour of solid play, whatever are they like lol

Bloody hell I didn't realise the cat was asleep right next to my leg lol,, he's just moved and scared the crap out of me, I didn't know what it was hahah

*yawn* I'm bored now. I tried to become part of it all at RFUK, but the problem is that they are all way too clicky there, if you don't fit in then your posts just don't get a look in, I've had posts that I have created have 100's of views and not one reply :(

My Mum has added me to msn, the problem being is that she won't ever be on when I am on, so we won't get to chat anyway, I've sent her a "private message" to see how she is and what she did on her holiday so I could find out how much fun she had, will have to wait and see if it gets a response. Unfortunately when I added her to my network, I added lots of other contacts that have been not on my msn for years, and now they are back again, I deleted them because I never talked to them. Perhaps we will start to talk from now on.

I'm sick of Bronny shouting! grr, well in 9 minutes time her pc will shut down on her anyway and that will be the end of it, though she'll have a pissy fit saying it's the holiday and why should the pc close down on her etcetc, I know it's not fair, I would have set it to 8:30 to give her time to get off stuff, to say goodbye to her friends etc, but I guess she'll have to get used to it closing down at 8pm and have plenty of time to say goodbye to her friends before 8pm comes. That's Vista's parental controls by the way heheh, it will close down at 8pm and you can't go on it before 9am in the morning,, if she tries it just won't start up, this is because we don't want her going on it from 6am in the morning, if she knew she'd get to go on it she'd get up early especially, out of childlike excitement, which is only natural, but the controls are set so it will not switch on before 9am I don't think even admin can get it to switch on before 9am, other than changing the time in thecontrols. It's cruel but it's a good idea to stop her being on the pc too early and too late, she would sneak on it when Simon was downstairs and I was resting in bed and she'd end up on it until Simon caught her way past 10pm at night which wouldn't be very good for her on a school night.

My butt has gone numb, just shows that I have to move, I can't be arsed lol ;)

I think it's time to sign out of bloggy though because I'm not really doing anything anyway.

Huggles

x

tireddd so damn tireeddd

I have been so tired lately to the point of exhaustion, I get up between 10 and 11am in the morning, I manage to stay awake until about 2-3pm in the afternoon then I have to have a sleep again, when the children are in bed, by 9pm I am crawling into bed myself and I sleep until Simon comes to bed, then when we've got in bed properly I have gone back to sleep again, until 10-11am, so I am getting more than 12 hours sleep a day, sometimes as much as 16 hours sleep, but I am still exhausted. It's not a case of a vicious circle the more I sleep the more I want to sleep, it is literally because I need it, Simon often queries the fact that I need so much sleep but I don't know how to answer other than if I didn't need it I wouldn't sleep it?

I am going to try and not have a sleep today and see how I go, although I am already getting monged from getting up at 10am this morning, I should be going to sleep in the next hour, but I am going to really try and fight it and see how we get on, if I can stop the daytime sleep and just sleep of a night time, even if itis early, then at least we'll be able to do stuff in the days because I am up and awake? I hope so anyway.

I want to go for a walk over the Chase but Simon says no way not with the children because they'll just play up, I can't get it through to Simon's head that the reason why they play up is because they don't know HOW to behave when out of the house because we don't go out often enough for them to learn how to behave.

It's time to try Tehya with a mouse again tonight, I think I'll be wasting my time but hopefully she will actually get off her butt and take it this time, I'm going to try strike feeding her with it to see how it goes, all Simon's snakes feed wonderfully, even his troublesome python, but no, not my Tehya, she's not interested in eating, she just wants to hide for most of the day when it's dark perhaps pop out for a five minute "stroll"

I'm quite worried about her actually as she's been "dull" as if in shed for.. *counts* 3-1/2 weeks now and it should last a mere 10-14 days. :S I just hope she is going to shed OK when she finally decides to actually shed and that she sheds with a perfect skin with eyecaps in the head piece. Hopefully she will shed soon and then eat something! heheh.

Today is week 6 since she has eaten, hopefully she is getting hungee now and will eat for me! I've wasted so many meeces by trying to feed her them to no avail. I might try a strike feed tonight and see how we go.

Bronny is making strange noises trying to get some foam "clothing" on her Bratz doll, it sounds like she's trying to get herself into a dress which is 2 sizes too small for her rofl. Euan is playing on COD5 (Call Of Duty) Simon is sitting downstairs listening out for the delivery (Bronny's new pc bits) I really feel sorry for her as she had the temporary pc on her birthday which never really worked properly, she probably got about 5 hours out of it before the motherboard failed to post, that was on her birthday on 5th August and her new pc bits are arriving today, which is 13 days after her birthday, nearly two weeks bless her soul, though she'll be one happy pumpkin when it is installed as it will be faster than my pc in the bedroom and my laptop, it'll be shit hot for a kid heheh. She is so spoiled bless her. We spent about £50 on Euan's birthday and we spent about £100 on Bronny :S *blush* though my excuse is that it IS a special birthday, her first double figure birthday and she'll only be 10 once. Lordy knows what we will get for her 16th birthday lol

Euan wants a pc too in his bedroom, but I have told him that he has to be 10 years old, and a responsible 10 years old before he gets HIS own pc in his bedroom. Not cost, it's about age, he's not old enough to be trusted properly on a pc so he has to be watched, especially as he signs himself into things such as places where he can chat and they say things untoward. Simon banned ourworld on the router because someone said to my 7 year old boy (who admittedly was signed in as being 13) "if I go out with you will you cheese all over me?" Simon and I were disgusted, even for a 13 year old that is disgraceful, so he immediately banned the web address from being able to be accessed on any of our computers including his own.

We have to understand and set up the parental controls on Bronny's PC, according to SImon vista has it's own special Parental Control set up and you can set times that the PC is able to be switched on, then if the PC is switched on or attempted switch on when it's not in the allowed times, it just won't switch on. which is really good because it will stop her waking up in the middle of the night and switching it on, or will stop her waiting for us to go to bed and then going on it, or going on from 6am in the morning.

Bronny is moaning for lunch so I'll have to go in a minute (yes I took heed Jane, they have three meals a day again now ;) ) well, three minutes to be precise, tick tick tick heheh, to be honest I'm all out of blog anyway, anything else I write will be more waffle than the waffle before it because I'm tired and all out of things of remote importance (to me) to say.

I'm glad that people still read my blog but I still think you are nutters for doing so, it's always compllete and utter waffle about nothing in particular and is never in any type of order, I'll mention something in the first instance and then mention it again about 5 paragraphs down lol

Right, I'm off.

Huggles.

x

Fibromyalgia

If you were born with healthy genes, you may know me but you don't
understand me. I was not as lucky as you. I inherited the predisposition to
chronic pain, fatigue and forgetfulness. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia
(FMS) after months, years or even decades of mysterious physical and
emotional problems. Because you didn't know how sick I was, you called me
lazy, a malingerer, or simply ridiculous. If you have the time to read on, I
would like to help you understand how different I am from you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FIBROMYALGIA

1. FMS is not the newest fad disease. In fact, it isn't a disease at all,
and it isn't even new. In 1815, a surgeon at the University of Edinburgh,
William Balfour, described fibromyalgia. Over the years, it has been known
as chronic rheumatism, myalgia and fibrositis. Unlike diseases, syndromes do
not have a known cause, but they do have a specific set of signs and
symptoms which, unfortunately for the patient, take place together.
Rheumatoid arthritis and lupus are also syndromes.

2. The many physical and emotional problems associated with FMS are not
psychological in origin. This is not an "all in your head" disorder. In
1987, the American Medical Association recognized FMS as a true physical
illness and major cause of disability.

3. Syndromes strike life-long athletes as viciously as they do couch
potatoes. They can be disabling and depressing, interfering with even the
simplest activities of daily life.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

1. My pain - My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation.
Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I can not work my pain
out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my
shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to
be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep
disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.

2. My fatigue - I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of
exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can't.
Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall
yesterday, but I can't help you with yard work today, it isn't because I
don't want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles
beyond their capability.

3. My forgetfulness - Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may
not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I
promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem
has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do
not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term
memory at all.

4. My clumsiness - If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a
crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control
for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days,
I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

5. My sensitivities - I just can't stand it! "It" could be any number of
things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odors. FMS has been
called the "aggravating everything disorder." So don't make me open the
drapes or listen to your child scream. I really can't stand it.

6. My intolerance - I can't stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man,
I sweat...profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally
embarrassing, so please don't feel compelled to point this shortcoming out
to me. I know. And don't be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it's
cold. I don't tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and
nobody knows how to fix it.

7. My depression - Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in
the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients
suffered from FMS as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting
pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull
me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

8. My stress - My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my
job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I'm not lazy.
Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

9. My weight - I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by
choice. My body is not your body. My appestat is broken, and nobody can tell
me how to fix it.

10. My need for therapy - If I get a massage every week, don't envy me. My
massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that
charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body.
Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is
knot-filled. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least
temporarily.

11. My good days - If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don't
assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no
cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good
days are what keep me going.

12. My uniqueness - Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike. That means
I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above and
below the waist and on both sides of my body which has lasted for a very
long time. I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain,
but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else.

I hope that this helps you understand me, but if you still doubt my pain,
your local bookstore, library and the internet have many good books and
articles on fibromyalgia.

Author's note: This letter is based on communications with people throughout
the world, males and females, who suffer from fibromyalgia. It does not
represent any one of the over 10,000,000 people with FMS, but it can help
the healthy person understand how devastating this illness can be. Please do
not take these people and their pain lightly. You wouldn't want to spend
even a day in their shoes...or their bodies.

it's bloody hot

or should I have said "it ain't half hot Mum"? heheh

I'm waiting for Tehya's dindins to warm up so I can try her with it, I am hoping that as it's day 29 of no eating that she will actually take it this time, I'm worried about her though as she's still not shed, so she's way overdue now. I've been offering her a pinky every 5 days, which is what you're supposed to do with a young snake, but she's just not interested. They said that she refused to eat if they sat and watched her at the shop but when they put her back in her rack she would eat nicely for them. I don't have the facility to make her feel as though she's in the safety of a comfinement that means all but one side is in the dark, I don't think I want to give her that confinement either. I guess she just has to get used to where she is living, though she still hasn't shed so I'm thinking she's not going to eat until she HAS shed :S I don't know what is going to happen. I provided her with a moss hide for her to go in to help hydrate her enough to loosen her skin so I just don't understand it, I just hope it's not messed up because I have held her a couple of times whilst she's "in shed". Her eyes haven't gone blue/grey either yet, but they might have done that in the night and been OK by morning so we didn't notice. Simon and I are pretty sure that she IS shedding though because she went noticeably dark a couple of days to a week after I purchased her. Geesh that's a long time.

Have not seen Bob much these last few days, though to be honest I've not really paid attention to his housing so he could have been sitting there looking at me like he normally does, and I've not noticed. I just hope that he is OK too, he seems to go through moodswings where he is happy and interested in his surroundings, then all of a sudden he is not interested and is bored with where he is living, hence Simon's constant fidgetting and moving around of his accommodation lol

Oscar hasn't been near me much over the last week or two either, I guess it's cuz the children are off school and normally where I am, the children are and he wants some peace and quiet away from them. I'm dreading going back to getting up at 7:30am for 5 days a week, I hate it, I wish I didn't have to do it, I'd much rather get up an hour later. At least when the children are a bit older and able to make their own breakfast I won't have to get up so early, Simon can get them up and then I'll come downstairs a bit later on as they are getting ready to leave LOL AS IF! Even when they ARE old enough to do their own breakfast (Bronny should be at the age of 10) I don't think they would want to and I know for a fact that Simon wouldn't want them to either, because he's always going on about germs and them touching things and he refuses to touch the things or eat things that the children have been remotely near. I guess I'll have to brush up on their hygiene skills, Bronny has started washing her hands all the time, but I don't think the little terror does, I think he doesn't bother EVER washing his hands :S I guess it's my fault for not drumming it in to him, they don't clean their teeth every day either *blushes lots*

Right, starting tomorrow there will be a wake up call in this house, from now on the children ARE going to clean their teeth after they have eaten for brunch, and then they will clean their teeth at bedtime, every day, Euan WILL wash his hands after every bathroom visit and before every meal. Then Simon will have no excuse but to eat food that has been near them because they will be as clean, if not cleaner as/than him.

Time to try and feed pinky to Tehya now, it's all gone dark which means it's nearly ten o'clock which means mousey has been out defrosting for 2.5 hours, which is plenty of time for a pinky, I might leave it a little bit longer to be on the safe side. I'd rather make her wait if she IS in fact waiting than feed her a frozen mouse that will damage her insides, I don't actually know what it will do to her on the whole but I'm imagining that it won't make her very well.

Speaking of very well, I've not been feeling too good of late never mind very well, not sure whether it is the heat or whether it's another bad patch, I can't remember what they are called right now, I hate it when my mind goes utterly blank when I'm trying to look for a word or phrase to type/say.

Uh oh, Oscar has just seen a moth or something that has arrived in the bedroom, which will probably be flying around my laptop real soon so I'm signing out now to switch it off. lol

Huggles

x

wooooh

Just had a phonecall offering me £20 for the hamster cage, considering we advertised it at £25 that's not too bad. She's coming from Stafford to pick it up round about 5pm this evening. Nice one, another £20 for the kitty (not the cat, for the kitty) heheh

Went to docs yesterday and she assured me that the other bits on the blood test are nothing to worry about, that they won't directly affect me but they are useful in diagnosing other things if need be she gave me some cypramil and some tramadol which I wanted and talked to me about my cholesterol level.

Got the dentist on Friday, I am well and truly crapping myself, I know for a fact that there is at least one tooth that they will want to fill or put a crown on, no more crowns, if fillings are not suitable then the bad tooth comes out is what I say, there is absolutely no way that I would tolerate having another crown after how much it hurt last time and I nearly passed out. After all that it being no point anyway because the tooth continued to rot away underneath the crown that they put in in Atherstone I think it was where I went.

At least we have a dentist that is a reasonable drive away instead of being all the way in Atherstone like the dentist was that we had in Tamworth and then Stafford, obviously I didn't bother going to the dentist again after moving to Gnosall because Atherstone is about 40-50 miles away from Gnosall at the least, so 100 mile round trip just for my teeth is not warranted.

Euan is pestering me to play on Call of Duty 4 with him so I shall have to go shortly. He won't wait for long lol I better bugger off and play I suppose.

Will blog again later methinks.

Huggles

x

Darnit and tartar sauce

This stupid bloggy thingy doesn't recognise me when I go on the page any more, I used to be able to click the link and then click new post but now I have to sign in, be redirected to the dashboard then find my blog and then click new post, not many more moves but it's just a pain in the old ass. lol

Simon is adamant that although Bronnybum is on her own pc and can spend nearly all day on it, Euan is only allowed 2 hours max in the day then another stint at night, it's just not fair for Euan but Simon says it's because she has her own pc now, but I don't care whether she has the Queen's PC, she shouldn't be allowed to have more time than Euan. I think it's all to do with the fact that Euan is in the bedroom, OUR bedroom on my pc.

Tehya still refused to feed last night :( I found her curled up like a baby around the mouse this morning but she wasn't remotely interested in feeding, I couldn't even get her to strike feed for me, will try again in five days time, but that will be lordy knows how many mice in the bin/down the loo, I think at least three bless her, I hope it's just because she's shedding and she'll go back to feeding like a good girly when she's shed, will just have to keep an eye on her because today is day 18 without food. :( She's too small to go without for too long :(

Shopping came today so I finally got some sugar for a cuppa, ran out yesterday morning, or the day before but it feels like a decade that I've not had a cuppa lol had Kelloggs Special K red berries for breakfast/lunch and plan to have a caesar salad for dinner unless something else props up. Simon can have a cooked meal tomorrow, for now there's yummy hotdogs that I bought for him, those frankfurter thingies, he likes them. He says he only went off them before because he was always eating them heheh.

I'm still not sure whether I am feeding the kids enough or not, they're eating brunch and then having a proper dinner, Bronny has a bit of a tum on her but I think that is because of all the takeaways we've had recently, because she always has a 1/4lb burger with cheese and fries/chips or something big when we go to Burger King :S Euan hasn't put an ounce on, I think he's like his Grandad (my Dad) he could eat a house and not put any weight on, whereas the rest of us in the family only have to look at a cream cake to put the ounces on lol.

I've got a headache yet again, I think it's because of my neck because I don't have a headache when I am lying down properly in the right position, it's just that my neck is causing a hell of a lot of tension and pain, and what doesn't help is that I can't see straight either so I'm really straining my eyes to focus on the same things. Stupid eyeballs, I need cocktail sticks so I can stick them in my eyeballs and fix them permanently into a position for best eyesight lol, ouch wouldn't that hurt, to have one's eyes stabbed with those damn things and then have them forced to look in the same place and forced open. Ouchies.

I think that bald professor, has been doing too much time travelling again lol (you'd have to read a past blog or be a member of my forum to understand what the f I'm talking about) time is going so quickly, one minute it's 7am in the morning and I've woken up too early, next minute it's 11am and I've over slept as far as the children are concerned, it's not just time where I am asleep that is disappearing either, daytime and evening time zooms past too.

Bleugh someone has farted and is not admitting it, this household are right stinky buggers I tell you, Simon especially his farts often make me gag and want to upchuck or choke to death, he's a right stinker, and when he's been in the bathroom for a number two, heaven help you if you need to go in straight after him lmao, your eyes burn and you struggle for breathe in the exceptionally sulfuric atmosphere rofl. Saying that it's a bleeder to go in after the kids too, they make your eyes burn back into the sockets, or even make them bleed rofl it's just a stinky family.

Euan's time is up on the pc now but I am just waiting to see if Simon notices and pulls him off or not, hopefully he won't notice so Euan gets a bit more time, but we'll have to see, Euan is pissing about before going into a game at the moment which is eating up time, he'll not have time to play the actual game :S Simon is playing WoW at the moment so might not think about the time, I know I'm not going to shout out that it's time up. Crap he's just looked at the time and told Euan he's got four minutes left :( poor Euan he's going to be piss bored all afternoon bless his heart. Simon is a stinky poo poo head with lots of rules that are way too strict.

Rules are made for breaking though right? That's what I grew up thinking anyway, which is probably why I got into quite a bit of trouble :( eeek heheh Euan's time now up and he's closed down like a good boy that he is, without complaint too bless his heart. Simon is a grumpy grots lol

My friend that I accused of blocking me and then lying to me by saying that she hadn't? Well, I realised that she wasn't lying when I saw her on yesterday or the day before, in the day, so I couldn't be blocked by her, so if you are reading, I am very sorry. Honestly I am.

I wonder how many people actually read my blogs? I know that one person reads it religiously, for some reason she actually enjoys reading my blogs and waits patiently for me to do another one. Bless :) Thank you to my friend :)

I am being watched by Tehya lol she can just see the top of my head I think, or maybe more of me and she's stretched up to the roof of her house looking at me :) she is a gorgeous lil thing, so precious to me :) I can't wait until she's shed so I can hold her again :) I want to hold her for longer this time instead of handing her over to Simon whilst I do stuff, I want her to sit comfortable in my hands and get used to be and not just Simon. heheh can't do anything until she's shed though :( *sulks*

That's it for now, another boring bloggy with nothing much interesting in it I'm afraid.

Til next time.

Huggles

x

bleugh

I'm covered in coconut fibre and sphagnum moss lol, we've changed our snakes onto coconut fibre because we have gone off the idea of the carefresh as Simon's snake had a problem with shedding on/in it his eyecap and a bit of his skin was retained so I had to gently pull it off whilst Simon held him.

Someone just mentioned something and it made me recall that I've not actually had a period for 6 years now lol, it's great! I hate periods, they're so ughhh She wasn't actually referring to a period, she was referring to something else, but she said coming on so I presumed that meant a period lol *shuts up*

Bronny is playing on her computer which has been given to her as an early birthday present, to be truthful it's not the actual pc she'll end up with as her proper present as it is going to be a complete new motherboard, and then Si will put his graphics card in and other items, which will mean in the long term that it will be a better pc than my laptop or my desktop lol, lucky girl. We just need the money to buy the upgrade items, which means it will be a couple of weeks before we upgrade.

She is also going to have the Bendaroos that I ordered from Hong Kong and a makeup kit :) that will be a very happy birthday for Bronny heheh. I want to get her a surprise too but I can't think of anything she'd want, the makeup kit was SUPPOSED to be a surprise but she damn well saw it on my laptop when I put it down for a second to do something for Simon, I left it on the screen because I didn't think about her even looking at it, but she's a nosey moo so she did look at it and now she knows that she's getting it :(

I need to buy her the lazer gaming mouse from the selection of things that Simon has added to his basket to upgrade her computer, it's £16.98 I can afford that even though I did a massive shop today (to be delivered tomorrow) as the rent is going to be a week late so I can use the money from the next rent cheque to add to this month's rent and clear it that way, then replace what I borrow from the next rent cheque with my DLA money. Sorted.

Oops I did it again

I blogged! lol sorry people but I can't help it, I just enjoy being boring and typing about my boring existence on this wonderful planet.

One of the questions I asked my forum friendies was whether they think that time is flying too fast or whether it's actually people with such busy lives that makes the time go so fast that they run out of hours in the day to do things... but then what about me? Time flies scarily for me to yet I do nothing during my days, I spend most of my days in bed, yes it does bother me, I don't do it by choice, I would rather have a life where we're active and going out doing things, but unfortunately that's not the way it is on this big ole dish that they call Earth, it's not even a dish, why did I say that? I meant ball, honestly I did. Why don't I just go and correct it and you'll all never know I made a stupid mistake with words? It's more fun to just leave it there, it'll get a snigger out of the best of you at least, I mean, let's laugh at the dunce who doesn't even know how to depict a round thing, yes a dish is round but it's not round round round is it, like 3d round, it's just well... round.

That brings me along to another thought, who invented shapes and why did they not just call them something easy, like circle is easy but triangle would be threeangle, square and rectangle and any other shape with four angles would be fourangle, pentagon, fiveangle, hexagon sixangle and so on and so forth (yes I DO know the rest, like septagon, octagon, nonagon, decagon) hehehe, I bet they're not even called that I just funked them outta my ed.

Anyway, back to time, I propose that there is a little bald man in a white overcoat somewhere in a lab with his magnificent time machine, but in his calculations he doesn't realise that every time he travels in time, he steals time from his original universe being us, which is why time flies, it doesn't fly, it is being stolen by some bumf in a lab somewhere, it is, honestly, you don't believe me? Then you explain why time seems to be flying, go on... I dare ya.

*waits for comments from very clever people who actually have a scientific reasoning for it*

Well, I have managed to waffle so far, which is good because it takes my mind off worrying about tomorrow, you see I have a very important hospital appointment tomorrow, it's the be all and end all. I'm either going to be told I have, or haven't got angina, which to me is quite important, I hope it is the controlled type too, otherwise I am in trouble... I really hope that all the pains and symptoms are just symptomatic of whatever else I am struggling along day to day with, but it would actually explain a lot of things, like for instance why I've struggled to breathe for the last two and a half years and why I can't take a full breath in or a deep breath out without it hurting my chest a lot. I am trying so hard to take it lightly, I didn't tell anyone about the appointment when I was first referred I just told Simon that they were "just blood tests" I didn't tell him that I am being referred to the Rapid Access Angina Clinic, he told me off for that, and because I kept that from him, he wants, in fact insists that he's coming in with me tomorrow, even though we have to drag the kids in with, I would like to go in with Simon, but I think the kids are just going to be naughty and distract me when I am trying to listen to what is being said.

I know for a fact that they'll not be able to test me on a treadmill, simply because I cannot walk far enough to be able to do the readings I am sure that my 5-10 metres of walking steps is not going to be enough for them to get an accurate reading from it. *sigh* I don't know how they're going to find out whether I have got it or not.

On to brighter things, my children are being quite good this holiday, they are taking it in turns on the pc because Bronny is banned from my laptop, after she installed various things onto it and broke firefox and basically the laptop, though saying that I have also been on "our world" on here since we re=installed everything and since then I've had issues with the lappy being slow at times, so it MUST install something in the background, it's the only explanation.

I am in the middle of installing printer software so that I can print Emma's cv's off for her and as soon as I'm done I can text her and let her know that they are ready for collection, I think she is going to be applying for more jobs bless her, she's not happy in her present role, and what makes it worse is that her boss is also her friend. I don't think anyone should ever have an out of work relationship with their work colleagues because it always causes problems somewhere down the line, even if it is just friends, if they work in a completely different part of an office, not in the same room and their paths don't cross then I think that it is OK but other than that I think that they shouldn't be having relationships, even friendships. nada nada.

Jebus this software is taking a fair time to install, I only want to use the printer for heaven's sake! heheh hopefully it will install soon so I can get Emma's CVs printed and out the way.

Microsoft Security Essentials is pissing about AGAIN, every day it tells me that there is a trojan downloader in each of the backup files from the forum, we have had our server hosts checking that there is no trojan downloader in ANY of our files or our database and they have said there isn't, but MSE claims there is which makes it a false positive I think Simon called it, but the only trouble is when I opt to allow it so that it doesn't scream at me every day, it takes an absolute age to get about 7mm across the bar and then it freezes, the software still claims to be doing it's job but it just hangs there at the same place every time! I guess the only way to get around it would be to put the offending files on the D drive as I don't think MSE checks the D drive, that way I won't have it shouting at me every day. (is still waiting for printer software to install)

I need to spend more time on the forum :S I think because there are no new posts when people come on to the forum, they can't be arsed to try and start a conversation, so they come, read the few things that are available, like dailies perhaps and then bugger off and go on to better more interesting things. I think if I start making the effort again then other people will probably join in too, for instance why should they bother when I don't? I just break my heart every time I go on the forum remembering what we HAD and what we have now, all those information posts, gone forever, we were one of the best for oodles of information, four years of information actually! All gone :( poof... just like that. I hope that people don't blame me for breaking it because I worked my very hardest to manually update those files and I believe I did every single one that required replacing, only to find that a manual update wouldn't work which means we'd have been running the forum software out of date which would have caused us to be liable to be hacked again and therefore the server host would probably have just deleted our forum to save all the hassle as they worked hard last time to fix it for us, when we found out that it was a backdated copy of joomla that was causing the problem.

Anyway, what it boils down to is the fact that the old forum is gone, the new forum is here and we have to make it as good as the old forum, the only trouble is, the likes of bindi, she won't/can't reproduce all her hard work with all the informative posts that she created, and there are other members that have done large information posts and then it all went boom. I have gotta stop mulling over the past and allow the future to flourish, I just don't know how to make it flourish though lol.

Finally managed to print Emma's cv's for her, I also updated and printed my symptoms and medication ready for tomorrow's appointment. Still nervous about that even though I've taken my mind off it by waffling successfully for ages. I think when I waffle on loads and it's ages long people get bored of reading my blog and stop reading it and go and watch paint dry for instance rofl

Anyway, I've waffled on far enough today so I'm going to love you and leave you all.

Huggles

x

Bloggedy blog blog

Blogs, everyone has them these days, I'm surprised Bronny hasn't asked for one, she's got her facebook account in the end, the only reason I agreed was because she only wants to play the games on it anyway, she's not using it to chat anyone up, although she does use the chat option on it, but she only has school friends and my family added, and Simon's brothers are due to be added I believe.

Tehya has started to shed :) I don't know when her last one was or whether it was a successful shed as I forgot to ask if she was shedding OK. :S I don't know whether she is naturally thin or whether she's not been a good eater because Kings are supposed to be nice and chunky and she's really thin like a worm but quite long to boot. No-one has said that her weight is an issue though so I am presuming that all is well.

I am getting butt cramps again rofl ouchies ouch. Simon is watching 5th Gear on his pc (via his card thingy that lets him plug an aerial into his pc and get tv (he has an aerial direct from the sky box that Dad wired in for him upstairs. :) Ouch my bottom really hurts.

Euan went to bed at 7:30pm tonight because Simon was fed up of him being awake just before we go to bed, hopefully it has worked and he's not going to come out of his bedroom until the morning, I can still here him though so he's not going to sleep still, it's just that he's not coming out of his bedroom. *rolls eyes* so he'll still be awake at nearly 10pm, just staying in his room, can't see how that makes an improvement to be honest, apart from the fact I haven't had to shout at him to get in bed tonight.

Bronny is on the pc until 9pm, slight bugger up with regard to the time considering she is supposed to be in bed at 8pm, she wants an extension to half eight on her birthday but I don't know whether to let her have it or not, otherwise soon she'll be going to bed later than me when I'm tired lol bless her, she can always try.

Her birthday is coming up and we are working on giving her her own pc so that she can have her own instead of sharing the main one with Euan, only problem is I'll never see her anymore with her being in her bedroom on her pc instead of in here lol DAMNIT, I think she just read my blog, I'm not sure though, I hope she didn't. Anyway that's what we're doing (she's in bed now) and I've ordered a network cable that is long enough to go from router to pc in her bedroom, a pair of speakers and a mouse, I ordered the dell mouse because at the time we thought we were getting her a refurbished Dell PC so we wanted it all to match but now we have decided that we are going to upgrade the pc that Simon's Dad gave him, but we'll do it bit by bit as and when we can afford it, her pc will then end up a better spec than laptop or pc in the bedroom heheh.

I have a headache again which means I'm going to be lying down pretty soon, it could be to do with sitting at an angle using the lappy on my lap of course and having my neck cricked, it could also be to do with the fact that I am supposed to wear my glasses nearly all the time regardless of what I am doing. I will find them out in a minute lol naughty me *blushes*

Am I a good friend or a bad friend? I don't know how my friends would rate me, it just made me think with all these quizzes on facebook, none of the questions usually relates to me and my friends but I tick all the boxes at are most relevant and end up being told I am a good solid reliablle friend, but I wonder if I am for real? It'd be nice to know what people think of me that are my good friends, but I'm not going to ask them because that'd just be really vain and self centered of me and I try not to mix with those traits.

I wonder who still reads my blogs, I wonder if I have extra eyes since I've made it public and listed, or whether it's too boring for the likes of a normal person, I mean all I do is rattle on about all or nothing, nothing or something, not a lot of it really makes sense and I flit from thought to thought which often finds me flicking back to something I previously said so that I can add to it or edit it, strange heheheh

Some people can be so selfish, I'm not naming names nor am I naming places or people but when people put an effort in to do something, one would feel obliged to join in and take part too? Surely that's the way it goes, whether you want to or not, you should make an effort. My family are strange like that sometimes.

I've felt rather pissy all day today, like with the forum this morning, I posted a post about so many people who just can't be arsed to be there or join in anymore and such, but then I deleted it because I felt guilty and didn't want to lose even more people.

I have lost another friend :( She says she's not blocked me, but if she hasn't how come she is NEVER ever on anymore, surely I'd see her name pop up now and again, even for short bursts, but it doesn't, so she is telling fibs, unless she accidentally blocked me and never noticed.

Anyway, I'm knackered and struggling to breathe so I am going to rest now, not that typing takes much energy, or maybe it does, lately just sitting up drains my batteries of that much needed energy, even though I am propped up by cushions, it still knackers me out :S Oh well, such is life.

Night night friendies..

Huggles

XxX

Meet Tehya :) Tehya is Native American Indian for Precious, she definitely suits her name :) she is beautiful and so so precious to me.



She didn't take her mouse last night/today but they don't USUALLY when they've been messed about, they USUALLY eat the week after when it is offered to them. Simon's python took 3 weeks to settle down enough to eat and he still doesn't come out even now. Simon had to wriggle the rat in front of the python and bloody heck was he quick in strike feeding, he missed it first time though but got a good hold of it the second time :)

Hopefully she will settle down enough to eat her mouse next week :) she should be settled in a week and not bothering too much about us but she could also be a bit feisty with being a baby snakey, so I'm not taking any chances, when we need to do things we put the box in the bath and we do it like that instead of taking any risks in the bedroom JUST INCASE she tries to escape. Obviously with plug in and overflow taped up.

I am really looking forward to her settling down a bit more so that I can touch her and handle her, apparently the more they are handled as youngsters the better they will be at handling when they are older because they will be used to the idea and not get pissy (literally) and musk everything too heheh.

I am so tired today, I think I'm going to end up in bed earlier than normal eeek which will piss the kids off no doubt, well it will piss Euan off, Bronny won't care because she'll be on the PC, I just have to make sure she doesn't get extra time with me being asleep, that really pissed Simon off last time :( I didn't MEAN to let her have longer I was just asleep so couldn't really say "time's up" but apparently I should have set my alarm to wake up and tell her that time was up *rolls eyes*

Anyway, time to prepare luncheon now so bye bye a bit!

Snakey!!!

Can't believe I haven't excitedly blogged about this before lol. Well... the apricot pueblan that I WAS having? That was a complete and utter let down. Right up until Saturday everything was fine, she changed the morning to the afternoon on Thursday night but that was all, she didn't mention anything about cancelling on me or anything. Anyway, right from day one I knew something didn't sit right, I kept saying to Simon that she would put me off and off and off and I'd never receive the snake but I'd be £10 worse off? Well, on Saturday morning at 10am, she text me to tell me that she was really sorry but she had forgotten to bring the snake with her from Nottingham to Stoke (where she was going to deliver from) so would I mind waiting until the WEEK after, not tomorrow, not 3 days time, the following Saturday. I was gutted, REALLY gutted, I had been so god damn excited. After a while of me complaining and saying that she would fob me off next week too, Simon agreed that we would cancel her and go looking for another snake.. I phoned Britannia to no avail, they couldn't get any in it wasn't on their stocklist, then Simon suggested I call Chase Pets and Reps (or Reps and Pets, can't remember which way round it is now) so I did, she said that they hadn't got any milksnakes in stock but there was an Arizona Mountain KingSnake in.. because they are only down the road, Simon agreed to drive me there to have a look. I fell in love immediately but only got him to knock £4.95 off the price which was a pisser as it was £74.95 to start with.. but she is worth every penny in my opinion. I haven't thought of a name yet because nothing has fit right, I want a really different name that isn't a popular name for a snake, like people would call a python monty for instance...

Right I've looked on a Native American Indian Names site and I've got the following:

Chu'mana = Snake Maiden (Hopi tribe)
Meoquanee = wears red (Chippewa)
Tehya = Precious (all tribes)
Wyanet = Beautiful (all tribes)

I think I'm going to go for Tehya :) it's the nicest name out of those four in my opinion, at least the easiest to pronounce lol and she is precious to me so yep that's what it is going to be :) Tehya :) heheh I quite like it :)

Going off the subject of snakes now because I don't want to bore all those that are not interested to death.

Had to phone my bank today because they are charging me £21.something for being overdrawn in my new account, and the annoying thing is that I was offered an overdraft on the account and I thought I had one which is why I borrowed £3.92 from the £10 I had in there for the deposit to clear the overdraft that I noticed in the first step account, I forgot when I had spent my money that a £5 goes out on a Wednesday lol silly me *rolls eyes* anyway, they have waivered the charges (because there was another one coming out next month for me being overdrawn over two banking periods) I don't get the overdraft after all though, I have to wait until I have had money in there for a while first before the overdraft will be authorised which means I will have to wait until there is a regular income and expenditures before they let me have an overdraft *rolls eyes again*.

Simon is faffing around complaining about UV bulbs or something, he's just been out and bought a UV meter which means he can test to see how much UV Rex is getting because in Yemen the UV is 12+ and this bulb that is sitting on top of the flexarium is reading at 0.5!!! Which means he is getting nowhere near enough UV which is what he needs to create D3, and without enough D3 he will get bone disease and become quite seriously affected by it. So that's why he's looking at buying a new bulb, but like on loads of other stupid websites, you have to register first to find out how much postage will be on an item. He doesn't have enough money this time around but he will have some money next weekend.

I have spent that much of the rent this time round that I don't think I am going to have money to buy Bronny any decent birthday presents to open on her birthday :( I know I'll definitely not be able to afford to buy her the computer I'll just have to see if Simon will agree to spend OUR not his OUR money on a PC for her to ensure that she gets one. I'm sick of using all my money on stuff and he sits there just buying stuff for him *shuts up* *best not start that one*

Someone is mowing their lawn at the moment but it sounds like they are mostly mowing down weeds on the lawn lol, pretty much like ours was when it needed doing lol, our back lawn could do with a haircut but I won't mention it he'll think I'm nagging at him.

Was hoping to catch a glimpse of Tehya this morning but she must have come out at dawn if at all. I hope she's out more once she gets used to me, I don't know if Kings are as shy as milks but if they are it means I will hardly ever see her :( Oh well, we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway I'm hungee so I'm going to get a bite to eat.

Huggles
x

waffling again.

Well, I've ordered part of Bronny's birthday present which was shipped yesterday, 500 pack of bendaroos... they're a new product that has come on the market they are strong string coated in wax and you can shape them, stick them together and make all sorts of things with them, 2D pictures and 3D shapes with them, they look really good, (video: Bendaroos Advert ) I just hope I have not been ripped off because 24 hours after I clicked on buy it now and click to pay, I get an email from ebay AND paypal telling me that the item had been removed due to an issue with ebay's terms and conditions or policies or something and to respect the customer's privacy they could not tell me what it was that they got pulled for.

I have to get her makeup kit yet but I still have time as her birthday is 3 weeks away yet. I want to get her the makeup kit she saw in Tesco catalogue, or I might get her something similar from Argos and then she will be happy :)

Then the main big present would be her computer that we are buying her, we have found a refurbished Dell that we are going to get her, hopefully that will be up to her standards, we just need to get a mouse for her as we have a spare keyboard, and then it'll be sorted (we have a spare monitor too, it doesn't come with a monitor as standard) I am really looking forward to seeing her opening that because she doesn't think she's getting one, she wanted to have one but I told her that we couldn't sort out a pc that we could afford, but this deal is too good to miss, especially for picking it up for only £80 odd quids.

I might find the link that Simon has got and then put the link on the forum and recommend them, perhaps I shall recommend them as soon as I know we are getting the pc mentioned.

Wellll only 3 more sleeps to go until I gets my lil reptile :) I am so excited, you'd not believe how excited I am at the moment, I don't think I am going to be able to sleep. lol I have now put the carefresh in for bedding, I have the light on and am checking the temperature that the basking area goes to and it seems to be between 28.4 and 29.5 so I am hoping it stays on the low side of that, the temperature that was suggested by a friend of mine who keeps them was 28.5 but the book says between 28 and 31 so I guess I'm ok with my temperature, there is no way I could get the cool end as low as they want in the middle of Summer though, without any heating mat etc it regularly reads 24.5... hopefully that is reasonable for the lil critter.

We are receiving the little critter at 10am on Saturday and then we are to take Euan to a party at 12pm until 2pm, I will probably just get Simon to take him for me because there's no point us all getting up and out into the car just to pop down the road and back and then do it again 2 hours later heheh.

Busy few days then, we have to go out tomorrow to pay a check into my bank and to get the rest of Euan's birthday presents, and then we have to come home and order Bron's pc on the internet off ebay. Friday we have an appointment for me at 14:45 at Sandy lane Rugeley to have relaxation therapy with Sarah Matthews as part of the pain management programme. So Si will have to drop me off early and then rush home again and collect Bron and Euan from school and then race back to collect me from the appointment, we'll probably have a BK after that as a treat, haven't decided yet, depends how much money I will have already spent.

Got to do a shop tomorrow morning before I spend any money on anything else though, that and getting the PC will put a decision on what else I have to spend. I have to get a lot from shopping but I am going to really try to cut down on the bill so that it is not too much so I still have money left to get some decent birthday presents for Euan, he deserves something decent after all.

Simon is watching some weird film at the moment, it's called Ruins or something like that, he downloaded it onto his PC from Sky player heheh. It's keeping him quiet and busy anyway so I am not complaining lol lol

Well I have received £54 from sending my two mobiles off to fonebank to have them recycled, I thought I'd get more for the K850i but at least I actually got some from them. I would have liked to keep the K850i to see if my vodafone simcard would work in it, it probably wouldn't but it was worth a try, I need a new camera as good as the K850i camera now but I can't find one cheap enough, when the kids' birthdays are out of the way I will have a look at buying myself a decent point and shoot camera that at least has a macro option, I don't know though, they are all expensive these days, depending on what you want, I just want to be able to take photos as good as I used to with the K850i because I miss the camera on that phone, it was the only bonus about it lol.

It would take me ages to find a camera on ebay, one that isn't listed as spares or repair, I'd have to get Simon to help me find one heheh he's always good like that he seems to be able to search for the right thing too bless him, he's a one in a million is that man of mine. Ooh, it's my bedtime lol I usually aim to go to bed by 10pm, even though with nattering to Simon and so on we don't actually manage to get to sleep until nearer to midnight some nights, it depends how much we have to talk about, it's daft we hardly see each other all day because he's downstairs and I'm usually upstairs, and then at bedtime we make up for it and natter til the cows come home lol, that's on the average day when we do nothing, there are days when we go out instead of sitting around at home, but we don't normally talk about things other than that precise moment what we are doing or stuff relating to it.

Oscar gets a routine three fusses out of me a day these days, he's really crafty. When the children have gone to school he starts following me around the house and then wherever I settle whether it be upstairs or downstairs, he jumps on my lap and says "fuss me now slave" with his attitude, he doesn't have to say a single word lol then again just after lunch when I'm about to settle down to sleep he'll either sit on me or snuggle up with me and keep nudging my hand to fuss him bless his socks, and again in the evening when the children have gone to bed he'll drop himself on me and demand a fuss again, he has this routine sussed, and if we go out during the morning and get back after lunch, he demands two fusses length of fuss before I go to sleep lol he's such a cheeky bugger, you should see him when we go out for the day, he's even more wanting a fuss when we get back, only most of the time I am too tired to give him the fusses he tries to demand so I have to gently push him away, only this gentle gesture to say get off or bugger off never usually works because he pushes against my hand stronger than I can push these days so I have to boost up my energy and give him a quick shove lol he soon gets the hint from a shove.

He is asleep at the foot of the bed at the moment but he keeps touching me with his paw, if I move he'll adjust himself so he can touch me either with the same paw or a different paw, bless him, it's as if he needs to know that I'm there with him wherever he is in his dreams. He's not properly asleep anymore because I keep getting wafted by his tail heheh bless.

Well, I truly have waffled beyond belief tonight so I shall love you and leave you.


Huggles.

x

waffle waffle

Define ugly? I know that I am ugly because well, who can look like they have been hit by the back end of a bus without being defined as ugly? lol reasoning behind this? (not that I always have to have a reason) is that one of my friends said something about them being ugly yet they are one of the prettiest friends that I have. It's always the same though, all my pretty friends say they are ugly, they see themselves as being ugly, but they really are not ugly bugs, now there are some right ugly buggers out there, yet there are some truly beautiful people out there, those that don't flaunt it are beautiful, the ones that are naturally beautiful and didn't have plastic surgery and didn't have liposuction or a fake tan or hair dye, they even have qualms about themselves, they are truly beautiful, however those that have fake beauty or the highschool teenage brats style people, they are just ugly, yes they have pretty faces and brill figures but they know it and flaunting it and boasting about it and being vain about it defines them as being ugly.

I don't understand Simon's brother and his girlfriend, they just do not like me at all, they are civil with me when we are at Simon's parents' house but as soon as we're out of there they ignore me, he has blocked me on msn and his girlfriend, although she re-added me... doesn't talk to me, I have talked to her a load of times and she just does not respond back, it's a horrible feeling not being liked by someone who is in Simon's family. I guess I'm not going to be liked by everyone.

I wish I had a magic wand so that I could fix all my friends' problems, everyone has them and I feel so useless not being able to help them in life and help them get over things, I'm just nothing really, just someone to talk to occasionally, no-one would recall my name in a list of top 5 friends for instance, not even top 20 probably if they're really popular. It makes me feel so useless and feel like shit.

I don't think I have a single friend that I am REALLY REALLY close to that I could talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with, no-one has opened themselves up to me that much so I don't feel I could trust them with that much about me.

I have now upset my bestest best best best friend I think :( yes, I guess telling her what I did WOULD upset her, but she needs to know what I think is wrong and that I think she needs to sort it out.. but it's not for me to say, I can only advise and then shut up and go away.

I feel down now, so lonely, so down, I think I am going to read my reading that my mate did for me on tarot cards in a minute, not sure whether it will cheer me up or just make me feel worse. *back after reading*
it made me feel better and has kicked me up the arse into wanting to get an answer so getting off my butt and pestering the neurology team and then the rheumatology team to see how we go with this.

My symptoms have changed significantly since I was last seen by Rheumatology AND Neurology so now it is time to update them with my findings so that I can get somewhere with them.

I have relaxation session as part of my pain management scheme on Friday which I am looking forward to indeed, hopefully she will be able to give me further ideas to those I already know in relaxing.

Simon is trying to stay up until midnight to get his license for Windows 7, for which he's only going to buy one copy for as it's £50... I think that there were more important things to spend the money on than a piece of software but that's up to him, I was going to say it's his money but it's NOT.. I wish sometimes he would remember that my part of the income support is included in his payment it's not just all his damn money. *shuts up* won't go down that road.

Well, another short waffle but I need to give up and go to bed now, my tablets have kicked in and I don't want to fight past them and end up awake all night feeling like shit, so I am off.

Night night.

Huggles

x

Some random photos...

...because I am bored

The clown I made for my beautiful niece Olivia.


the doll I made for my wonderful daughter Bronny

hellooooooooo

Euan's birthday today, he had his three prezzies off us that we got him yesterday, he's getting the rest on Thursday when he comes home from school when we've gone out to get some that is lol

We went out this morning to get my light fitting, a cage guard thingy and some washers and locusts for Simon, I'm having an economy bulb in my viv so that I can actually see what is in there heheh, not that I will probably see the thing anyway because they are rumoured to be quite shy lil creatures.

I'm on the computer at the moment as Simon is on the bed wiring up the light, so I have nowhere to go on the laptop unless I go downstairs, which I don't want to do, so I decided I may as well just come and sit at the pc. I can't sit here long as my butt is already going numb and my back hurting so I'll have to have a rest pretty soon.

Charlie (the tarantula, remember her?) has started to go to bed in the cave we made her at night and then she comes out in the open during the daylight hours. :) Bless her, she used to sleep out in the open and not care, but now she goes to bed in her house, perhaps she's shy of her pyjamas, perhaps they are babyish for her so she doesn't want to show them? rofl *sigh*

Simon's tarantula hasn't been out for a few days, maybe she/he is going to shed/is shedding.

Bob is so funny, he is such a character, he is so nosey too, when he hears something going on he has to bob up and have a look at what we are up to, he's always watching me it's so funny when he hears me talking he bobs up and looks at me, he does for Simon too, but considering I don't feed him and all I do is talk to him you would think he'd not be interested in me, but he is bless his heart, he's always looking to see what I am doing and looking at me. :)

Hmmmm what else shall I waffle on about? Oh yeah, Mum told me some good news yesterday morning so I announced my congrats to said people on Facebook at about lunchtime, then at 7pm Mum text me and said "oh yeah, it's to be kept in the family only until blah blah" and I went ballistic at her for not telling me in the morning because said people don't like me too much and said person dislikes me even more, so I was worried they would have a go at me for opening my big mouth, Mum sorted it out though and apparently said person said it was OK. Which surprised me.

I want a doggy. No matter what animals I get myself it does not hide or sate the fact that I really really want a doggy :( Simon catagorically says no everytime I mention it because he doesn't want to have to be left with the responsibility of cleaning up after it in the garden, or taking it for walks and so on. I think having a doggy would do him good as it would get him out of the house for an hour or so each day, which he needs to keep sane, but he's not getting that time where he can go out, because he doesn't want to go for walkies on his own.

I am sitting here falling asleep because I am so tired and in pain, the pain isn't stopping me wanting to and falling asleep but it's still pretty bad, I've got acheds and pains because of physio yesterday, she was getting me to move my head, neck and limbs into different positions and it was hurting me and then it hurt me a lot. It is hurting lots and lots today as if she just did it but did it for longer and got me to stretch further.

I'm going to have to give up in a minute as my right wrist is really hurting, it feels like jointy bone ache and sting and also a muscly tendon ache, throb kinda pain, difficult to explain really but yeah. Unless I go in Bronny's bedroom I cannot go to sleep yet because Simon is still working on the viv.

Anyway I'm being boring waffling about nothing now so I am going to sign out.

Huggles

x

Radda Radda Radda

Why do I use that as a title? It has to be one of the best sayings in the world ever? What does it say? I haven't the foggiest but when uttered by Snitzel on Chowder, it is really cool Chowder, which is a new cartoon on Cartoon Network... the person who did Spongebob is on the team. Although it is a children's cartoon, like Spongebob, Fairy Odd Parents and various other cartoons, there is a lot of hidden adult humour in there, which makes it interesting for adults and children alike without being too distasteful for the children.

Euan is getting excited about his birthday and keeps reeling off a list of things that he wants, I hope when it actually comes down to what we have (will have, but not yet) bought him that he will not be too disappointed. He wants sweeties to hand out at school too, so I have to get them on Monday ready for him/Simon to take into school on Tuesday.

We also have to get him a cake but I might request that Mum keeps up with her "tradition" and buys him a cake to bring with on Sunday when they come round for his birthday, I hope that the presents she has got him do not contain little tiny bits because they will just get lost in his bedroom. I want to buy some tubs to put all his toys in and tidy his room up a bit but it will have to wait until I have some money spare in September.

Here is the viv for my little thingy that is going to be arriving a week tomorrow, Simon set it up for me because I had all the bits and absolutely no idea what to do with them, he's done a brilliant job and now I'm never going to see the little thingy. lol

Can you guess what I am getting?


I just have to get some lighting now, something suitable to light up the whole vivarium because it's back is to the window so it is in the dark. I like Simon's stone lights but I am not sure that they will be bright enough to light up the whole viv with there being so much in it, I'm probably better off with the strip lights that Simon has in with his crab, they look horrible but they are not going to be seen because I will put them on the roof of the viv and behind the top board.

Bronny and Euan had their school reports today, not bad not bad lol Could be room for improvement with Euan but Bronny is good good good. Euan's downfall is concentrating and hand writing, I have tried to get him to practice his handwriting but he's just not interested in sitting still to write :( Maybe I need to push him a little harder.

OH, we have at least one visitor in the house, why am I saying this? Well, we've had lots of strange happenings in the house, the most frequent one that has been happening since we moved in is the sound of a plastic type ball being dropped and it bouncing a little then rolling along what sounds like a wooden floor. This happens when we are downstairs, and it sounds like it is coming from upstairs, upstairs is totally carpeted and the noise comes when either there is no-one upstairs, or when the children are in bed asleep.

Another thing is that Bronwyn was talking about the presence of ghosts the other morning and a piece of paper on the table had it's corner lifted, no-one else saw this but I know it happened and it wasn't a hallucination.

Another, when I was sitting innocently typing away at my laptop, I saw out of the corner of my eye, a shadow move past between the bed and the cupboard and it was "reflected" or "cast" onto Simon's vivarium with Wendy in.

Another, probably the most exciting because it wasn't just me witnessing it was the fact that Simon's cupboard door opened and shut when we had been in bed talking for about half an hour, when I finally shut up and we lay down, that is when the door opened and closed, Simon heard it too. woot.

Hopefully we will eventually find out who it is and what they want, why they are obviously trying to get our attention to the fact that they are here with us, or we are here with them.

woot isn't it exciting!? heheh

Right, enough for now, I've excited you all far too much lol.... see you laters alligators...

xxx

Oops I forgot...

Forgot about blogging, naughty me, I used to be so regular at it, and now I'm a naughty girl and don't hardly blog at all. I can't even say I am too busy to blog either because I do bugger all day in day out lol

It's Euan's birthday on Tuesday, we're going shopping for presents on Monday heheh because I won't have any money to buy anything until Saturday, so we're off out on Monday to get some pressies for him (can't do Sat or Sun as we have the little rascals with us).

I cannot believe he is 7 already, seems like only yesterday that we were changing his little cute bottom heheh. His bottom isn't much bigger actually but he is, he's had a growth spurt and he doesn't look like a baby anymore, his face has really thinned down and he looks so grown up. :( my baby! lol He'll always be my baby, so will Bronny, even when they are in their 20's and 30's hahah.

I'm all excited :) :) :) :) only 8 more days until I get to put something in the viv that I have bought :) woot. I'm just testing the mat & mat-stat at the moment to get the right temperature for when my little thingy arrives :)

I am so so so excited I really am :) I can't wait to show her off on the forum to all my friends :) :) :) :)

Right back to business. All my money this week is for Euan's birthday, all my money next week is for my little thingy and then all the money the following week will have to be used to get some food in the house or for Bron's birthday.

We are buggered as far as food goes, I should have bought food instead of the viv on Wednesday, but I can't have nowhere to put my little thingy when she arrives on Saturday 18th July around 10am.

Heheh I am soooooo excited ;) (I think you get the picture)

Oscar has just gotten himself stuck behind Rex's "cage" by the window, lil shit lol

How am I feeling lately? I'm in a lot of pain, the pain has considerably increased and it's all over at different times, like last night I had an intense dull thud type pain in the top of my calf last night in bed, no matter how I moved myself it hurt, it wasn't a muscle cramp either, it was more like a pain around the bone. Emotionally I am not too bad although I do need to get some more anti-depressant because there isn't any available for the chemist to order :( there's just none, zilch, nothing. So I'm stuck, I have to go to the docs to get a different brand.

Just been out to get a "piece of wood" and a hide from reptile place for my little thingy that is coming a week tomorrow woot heheh

I have the coconut fibre for the floor substrate that I bought for Simon and it's not been used so I can use that. So that's it really, I have everything I need for my little thingy's house heheh.

I think that my friends on the forum are going to be thoroughly surprised when I post next week to show what I have got heheh, I can't decide whether to post the viv set up and say it's ready for my little thingy and THEN show them the surprise, or whether to leave it all until next week so it's a complete surprise heheh.

Well, it's my bedtime (daytime bedtime) so I will catch you all laters my friendly gaters.

xxx

Hahah

Well, I survived the night, *sticks her fingers up at Death* sorry mate but you ain't gettin me yet! rofl

I've gotta stop thinking and talking about it, it's sending me around the bend, but what am I supposed to do, "oh you probably had a heart attack", "oh never mind such is life" and carry on the way I'm going? No I want to look at life and see what I can change to stop it happening again. Trouble is I have all but one of the symptoms of heart disease, but as already proved I have all the symptoms of various other things too, I could write a list as long as my arm of complaints that I have according to my symptoms... which is why I have stopped googling stuff, simply because I could scare myself half to death thinking about it.

The main bonus about seeing that Senior Registrar at the hospital on Thursday is that he said he was pretty damn sure that I had fibromyalgia, thank you, now diagnose it for me please Mr! I should have taken a photocopy of the ecg and given it to pain management and rheumy chaps to say, think again and diagnose me for heaven sake!

I'm in a good mood today considering the situation I am in... I survived the night, which was my main concern considering how I felt when I went to bed last night.. This morning/today I feel so grottily ill it is unbelievable. Sicky, tired, headache, dizzy, strange feelings in chest, all symptoms for today. Perhaps I do have heart disease and it's come on strong all of a sudden, yet my symptoms should be alleviated by the aspirin, perhaps it is the aspirin making me feel ill, I don't know.

I might not take the aspirin tomorrow and see how I feel by the evening, I may be asking for trouble, but then again if this aspirin is making me feel so sicky and dizzy and vertigo really bad then I want to stop taking it so that I can feel oK again. I'm thinking I wasn't taking it before and I'm not dead now so what is the harm in carrying on and not taking it, Doc said if it aggravated my gastric reflux too much then I'd have to consider the options of putting up and shutting up, or taking the risk and not taking it anymore.

Simon's lizard Bob (the Skink) has shed again today, bless him he's done everything he can to take off his skin including going through the water bowl and pushing himself along the tiles and the slate and pushing himself through the plant instead of going under it.

Bronny and Simon are playing COD4, the reason why I actually have my lappy is because Euan has been banned from the PC for a week for having a humungous tantrum on Wednesday, so Bronny is on the PC, thus freeing up my laptop for little old me to go on rofl.

I phoned my Dad last night and talked to him about various things, I can tell that he's worried even though he says there's no point in worrying, we've made the decision not to tell Mum until she gets back from Germany so as not to worry her whilst she's over there and not here so she can't do anything. To be honest she cannot physically do anything to help me anyway unless she has a cure for whatever I have so I can start a gentle regime of exercise so that I can alleviate some of the problems, it might aggravate them too though so I don't know.

Bronny has cottoned on that there is SOMETHING wrong but obviously I am not going to tell her the full story because I'll have her having nightmares that I died again or she'll not be able to sleep again and she'll be constantly all over me.

Euan, as usual is none the wiser, which is how I want it to be, he wouldn't understand even if I told him though so no loss there. lol

Oscar cat hasn't had his "morning fuss" as yet, he normally comes to me for a good old stroke and a sit down on my lap, but it was a short meow to say hello, he sat on my lap for all of 2 seconds and then buggered off to see Bronny I can only presume. Some days he's all for fussing, but then other days a fuss is the last thing that he wants.

Next door keep slamming the damn back door again, it shakes this wall that I am leaning up (the wall between our bedrooms) and feels like the floor is going to fall through. They are always slamming the door, I don't think they know how to close the door quietly, seriously, it's terrible, they all do it, not just the kids. The other day there was some kids outside the house and no word of a lie the door got opened and severely slammed about 20 times or possibly even more.

Rex is on the move again, he's been around his enclosure about five times bless him, he needs the larger enclosure now, but I don't know what Simon plans to do about it because he needs the one in between the one he has now and the large one that his predecessor has. I don't know whether we will get it or not, or how we are going to go about it. He's been shedding alot lately too. Growing Lizards, Simon must be doing something right lol

Bronny is now playing on MOSHI Monsters, which I am pleased about because I have paid £4.95 for a month's membership heheh. Simon will kill me if he finds out. He thinks it's a waste of money, it probably is, but still, never mind.

I have to check the rent balance at some point, I don't think we're going to have enough to be able to give him on Tuesday (when my disability comes through) because I have spent so much of the money on shopping, I did a shop and then did a top up shop for things I had forgotten which both probably equated to £150, and there was another shop on top of that I believe. I'll have to have a looksee.

I think that's enough waffling for now, I've actually run out of things to say which is amazine for me I must say! ROFL


Bye bye :)