Hmmmmmm

Hmmm, what to say. I am very upset and scared right now, I don't know where to put myself or what to do, I am also pissed with myself because I have managed to worry my Dad, I was so scared and didn't know what to do, I needed to speak to mum or dad and I didn't want to upset Mum while she is in Germany, it would be very selfish of me.

You're banging your head against the wall wanting to know what I'm going on about? Well, on Wednesday the nurse took my blood pressure and my pulse, she noticed a few missed beats in my pulse and asked me if there were any heart related symptoms before, I explained about the vibrations around my heart area and tightness of chest muscles when it happens and about going cold and clammy at the time and feeling light headed and sick and she referred me for an ECG, we went the next day to get it over with and when the nurse finished the test she went to see the consultant, he asked me three million questions and then left the cubicle, the nurse came in with my results in an envelope and said that the consultant had requested that I see my doc today, I explained that they were closed half day on a Thursday and she said well first thing in the morning then.

Phoned docs this morning and explained the situation and she got me in with doc at 11:50 which wasn't bad for a Friday hehe.... The doc waffled on a bit and concluded that I could have had a heart attack and that he was going to put in a request for the hospital to set me up on a 24 hour heart rate monitor to see if they can capture enough data to establish what is going on with my heart, in the meantime he has prescribed aspirin to thin my blood to try and avoid any more problems.

So, how do I feel about this? Pretty shocked to say the least! I knew I wasn't quite right lately but didn't realise things were THAT serious :( never mind when it's time for me to go, I'll most probably go, can't do anything about it so there's no point stressing hehheh however, on a more serious note, I really must make sure I sort out what happens to the children, I don't want them going to him when I've gone that is for sure!

I don't have anything to leave for them but I must make sure that they have a good home.

I'm falling asleep now so I had better go to bed, well I am in bed but you know what I mean.

Nite nite all.

Huggles :)