Hmmmmm

Hello again fellow blogreaders, sorry that I have not been here for some time now, I haven't really been in the mood for writing, although I should write as it's a way to get it out of me what is wrong, and I'm allowed to write about anything I want so there lol.

In my last blog I was talking about being on a downer, I'm afraid I'm still in that pit of downness and unfortunately I do have excuses for being here.

The most upsetting of all things going on in my life right now is my eyesight. It is very rare that I am able to focus on things for a long time now, I just end up going cross or wall eyed. I was telling a friend in an email about trying to look at Euan last night, I could NOT focus and the best I got was seseing him with 3 eyes, sounds funny, it is in hindsight but last night I wanted to burst into tears because I was scared.

Spasms are at an all time high again too but I cannot increase my spasm meds as the doc is trying to get me to decrease them as it is, which is REALLY annoying that he is working against me and not with me. I just wish he would understand. I want my old doc back, she was fantastic and always HELPED me instead of hindering me.

Pain is high as well, which is partialy due to spasms and cramps and mostly to do with I don't know what, I wish I knew what I was fighting for god sake someone give me a diagnosis so that I can work out what I am fighting and get it fixed.

My symptoms also point to POTS, which is Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome.

Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (often referred to as just postural tachycardia syndrome or POTS) is a condition of dysautonomia, and more specifically, orthostatic intolerance, in which a change from the supine position to an upright position causes an abnormally large increase in heart rate, called tachycardia. This is often, but not always, accompanied by a fall in blood pressure. Several studies show a decrease in cerebral blood flow with systolic and diastolic CBF (Cerebal Blood Flow) velocity decreased 44 and 60%, respectively

Patients with POTS have problems maintaining homeostasis when changing position, i.e. moving from one chair to another or reaching above their heads. Many patients also experience symptoms when stationary or even while lying down. Symptoms present in various degrees of severity depending on the patient. POTS is a serious, though non-life threatening, medical condition that can be severely disabling and debilitating. Some patients are unable to attend school or work, and especially severe cases can completely incapacitate the patient.

I just need the nurse to check my blood pressure on Wednesday of next week when I see her for my depo injection... if my blood pressure doesn't drop when standing up and my pulse increase a great amount, then it's definitely not that.

My problem seems to hide from all clinical findings, so I don't know how I am going to get diagnosis.

Bronny has been banned from my laptop this weekend which is making her moody and making her sulk. She shouldn't have been naughty lol I don't see why I have to give up my laptop so often and for so long for her anyway, it's every night after school until teatime then every weekend from when we get up and have somet to eat until bedtime. It does my head in because it messes up my routine on farm town for one, I end up having to harvest and sow at night and I don't want to be busy on the laptop at night I want to be able to see Simon heheh.

At least this weekend it won't mess up my routine, I'll have to think how I can sort it so that every other weekend I'm not disturbed and I can do the farm work without Bronny moaning that she wants to go on the laptop. How sad am I? That damn farm town takes over my life lol

Right I'm off for a shower now because I rinky stinky dink lol

Huggles and lubs

x