am so tired....

Hi all,

Am really tired tonight, need sleeeep lol, I'm going to try and not go to sleep too early tonight though, I'm going to be a good girly.

At least I don't have to get up early anymore. Simon was supposed to be swapping his tarantula for a gecko and the chap was coming round at "about 9" in the morning, so I had to get up and get dressed ready for about quarter to nine. Alas the bloke's missus has told him he's not allowed to swap the gecko or he moves out too, so he's backed out on the deal, which is a real shame as I fancied having a gecko in the house, I think they are really cute. Especially Tokay geckos which is what it is. The only bonus to it is that I don't have to get up early any more. lol

So, how am I REALLY? I'm exhausted and have back ache and all I did was unload a pile of clean dry washing onto the bed and sort it and put it away. Emotionally I'm fine, happy actually, I've been to see the neurologist and he is referring me to see a neuro-psychiatrist because he feels as though the problem is with software and not hardware. I don't mind either way it would just be nice to have an answer as to what is wrong with me really. I want to be better too, he said he believes that it is curable.

I'm so tired all the time too, I have a rest in the day, which at the moment I NEED, and then I sleep from 8pm until when Simon comes to bed and then I go back to sleep until I get up in the morning, at weekends I am up at 11am ish and then I'm back in bed a few hours later, I'm fed up of it and want my life back.

I will have to find a job when I am better but I have no problems with that, I don't mind looking for work and doing a job as long as it is not physical, I've never been any good at physical labour, all the physical jobs I've had I've had to quit before long because my body just won't do physical work, it's not that I'm lazy it's the pain that is caused, like back ache and joint ache.

the next thing to consider is, how much of the problems that I have is actually down to this problem and how much of them are just there anyway, I know that my knee is due to arthritis, but exactly how much of the crippling pain is due to arthritis and how much of it is due to my poorly, that's what I will call it from now, to make it easier to refer to, because I still haven't been given a label, perhaps the neuro-psychiatrist will label it for me, I thought it was psycho-somatic, but the neurologist (Dr Leonard) said that it was not psychological that it was something more than that something deeper in the workings of the brain. I am looking forward to finding out though, because the brain is a strange and wonderful thing, I know that some people have been so poorly with the brain that they are 100% sure they cannot feel or move their legs, and that it has been a genuine problem, the patient really can't move their legs, but it has been found out that it is software based and not hardware.

Shopping online for Bronny's Christmas presents tomorrow, will probably get most of it from Argos to be honest, will be easier cuz then I can reserve it and Si can use my card and go to the store and order the bits and pay and pick them up just like that (computerised system) which will be far easier than going to other online stores and paying for delivery costs and wondering whether or not it will come in time. Far far better than actually physically walking around toys r us or something like that anyway lol.

I will do it tomorrow though so that Si can collect the things on Monday when the kids are at school instead of trying to get them in the house and hide them from Bronny on Saturday or Sunday. She'll only try to find them knowing her when she knows that they have arrived in the house and she will hear Simon opening the cupboard which the stuff will be hidden in and she will find everything, her's and Euan's stuff.

Right that's me done for a while, Bronny has just added me into a group conversation so I'm going to bugger off and watch what goes on in that ;)

Love to all and Christmas Merry you to.

Huggles

x

Blinkin flip

Too much pain to eat tonight, even struggling to have a drink, hot or cold :-( when will this end? Lying on the bed feeling sorry for myself again lol it's not something I can just ignore though.

How annoying, Bronny is listening to two separate sets of music, completely different songs, they don't even sound like the same genre! How utterly annoying!

I miss Floppy, lots and lots :( I wish I had been there to cuddle him when he passed away, instead he went to sleep in the cold and lonely as Jasmin nice and warm in the hutch, my poor baby, I dreaded that day and I can still remember it clearly, Simon going out to check on them, and there he was all cold and asleep even found ice on him (was a cold winter day was that) he obviously didn't want to move house again so he went to sleep before we moved. Bless his soul I hope he's happy at the bridge and not missing me as much as I miss him I want him back so badly.

:'-(

I wonder who sat there and designed all the emoticons we know and love today, I'm not talking msn or smiley central, I'm talking text emoticons that people use. :-) ;-) :-| just a few of the very many out there lol then there is the clever people that make pictures out of them like giant teddy bears and stuff heheh :-)

Ooh just received a text, I wonder who that could be from? I've been talking to Rabbit John but he said he would pm me? Unless he has just texted me to tell me that he's done it? *goes to have a looksee* it was Jane heheh she's in a foul mood, not that I blame her, out of respect for her I'm not going to be blabbing what is going on in her life atm.

I'm really hungry and banoffee pie is calling me too, but I can't have it because I'm in too much pain to eat :( hope tomorrow is a better day, surely it should start to ease instead of getting worse? :S I guess I should go to docs or dentist if it gets worse as I could have an infection brewing, there is something rotting in there judging by my breath lol it smells like poo! Literally! Bleugh bleugh bleugh.

I'm going to have to go and have some soup I'm starving hungeee lol some nice oxtail soupywoup :-) lol

Huggles

X

Btw, I don't type the sent by blackberry crap the phone does it itself and I've not found the section to change my signature for emails yet heheh
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Somebody please....

Take this damn pain away lol

On bed on mobile sending post by email again, laptop not been on for two days now apart from me trying to create space for the settlers game on ipod by taking lots of music away, (which didn't work after all that deleting) I have back ups on second partition anyway.

I can't believe I lost so much music transferring from PC to laptop - I was so lazy and didn't transfer everything then regretted it as soon as simon installed windows 7 :( oh well, my own fault.

Snakes are still suffering the dreaded mites, they are bloody everywhere! I just hope that Rex doesn't get them as it won't be so easy to treat him :S damn things.

I have a headache on top of general post-op pain which is not helping at all. My eyes have gone all blurred again too. Think it's time to give up and try to sleep it is nearly bedtime after all.

Night night all

Huggles.

X
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Ouchies

Well, had the dreaded tooth out yesterday bugger me did it hurt my jaw all that levering and pulling and tugging, I thought they were going to break my jaw lol. As the tooth had hooks for roots the hospital dentist couldn't promise he would be able to get it all out, but after lots of pulling force and drilling the remainder off the tooth came out intact.

He promised me a week of intense pain and lots of swelling. Hopefully after a week the pain will die down and I will be able to talk again.

At the moment the cheek is so swollen on the inside that I cannot talk properly and there is a lot of swelling on the outside too it literally looks like I have shoved a satsuma in that side of my mouth and forced it closed. My whole face looks a mess lol.

The pain is immense and causing me to not be able to eat solids I bought some soup today so at least I could get one decent meal inside me a day.

Talking hurts, opening my mouth just enough for a drink hurts, touching my face either side hurts, my jaw hurts too, I'm in so much pain I have had to increase my tramadol intake :( not something I really want to do. I'm typing this on my mobile whilst lying down as simple sitting up hurts too :(

Right, time to bugger off and put Euan to bed.

Huggles

X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Oooh this is good innit?

This is my first mobile blog post, I am composing the post as an email, of which I will send to blogger using the email address that I have been given to send posts to. Ain't that clever? Heheh.

Really don't feel well today, I have just eaten my brunch and will be going to bed shortly, I am lying propped up on the bed writing this. Simon is bathing his Python to ease it of the mites, I have already stated my displeasure of these rotten things heheh

I am REALLY nervous for tomorrow, I'd cancel if it wasn't for the fact that I'm fed up of the damn tooth causing pain and infections, I swear that is the source of my bad breath sometimes, with it stinking so much and I can taste going off food in my mouth but cannot get to it when I clean my teeth.

I checked my mobile phone bill today, expecting the total to be already sky high and its not I only have £3.61 or somet like that of extra's over the top of my normal account invoice, that is really not bad at all. I wish I could keep it down to just normal phone bill charges though I really do. Not even sure where that money has been spent. - I have the mobile internet package on my phone so I shouldn't be being charged for anything along those lines.

Anyway, time to drink tea and snuggle down to sleep :)

Huggles

X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

A fresh Autumn morning

Window is open to get rid of the condensation that has built up on the window due to the central heating now being put on. I can tell just by the little breeze that is coming through that it's rather fresh out there this morning, and why did I mention Autumn? As I can see next door's tree with a few Autumn coloured leaves left on it but mainly bare. Autumn has certainly come at last. I like Autumn because it is cooler than Summer yet not quite cold enough to hurt the face when you go out.

Simon has gone out this morning, most probably with his hat on, having no hair his head and ears hurt in the cold because there is no protection for them hahah. He's gone out to the garden centre to buy a water dish for Bob and some new snake bowls for the stripe, speckled and the corn. With having mites they are trying to get in their water bowls to ease themselves of the itch, but their bowls are way too small for them, bless, hopefully we'll get rid of the mite problem when the spray arrives though, I can't stand the thought of my poor snakes being eaten by damn parasites.

He's also gone out to get a hide for Bob, Bob is very upset and stressed because he hasn't got anywhere to hide at the moment as Si emptied his housing of bedding, plants and tiles yesterday, there's one tile in there, that's been soaked to make sure there are no mites in it, to protect the pond liner from the heat lamp. Other than that it's the brick sides and pond liner for a floor, so he's not a happy Bob at all.

Euan brought a violin home last week, I didn't believe him when he said he was going to have his own violin to practice on at home. Bless him he plucks it very well and his beautiful singing voice is a treat I can tell you :) It's so soft and beautiful :) He has violin lessons on a Thursday and has to practice the violin for the rest of the week at home. Hopefully he will learn some new songs as the one he does at present has worn out lol

Bronny does Art Club and ICT now, Art Club explains itself in the title, but in ICT they are making an animation, Bronny has to draw her picture, take a picture of it, then draw another same picture with the arms slightly moved for instance and take another picture. I can't remember who she said she was working with but she enjoys ICT Club. She likes Art Club as well, but Euan went last week and just messed about which embarrassed her and annoyed her, she came out and said to Simon, "Euan is doing my head in" lol

Any more news to report?

Oh, I have a tooth extraction tomorrow which I am definitely not looking forward to, my tooth is the wisdom tooth at the back of my mouth on your left, the thing that worries me is that the roots are curled and not straight so it's going to be a mare to take it out, I'd much rather go to sleep for the process lol Simon has to wait in the waiting room, the paperwork said it's usually 20 minutes up to an hour to take it out! Oh my what a long time to be sitting crapping myself in the dentist's chair. I really wish they would send me to sleep lol PURLEASE let me SLEEP! hahah

Then on 10th December I have my neurology appointment, I will be surprised if they find anything this time round or even suggest anything to do, I mean what more can they do, they completed every test possible (I think) and all results came back as "normal". What oh what is wrong with moi? :(

I'd very much like a diagnosis so at least I have a label to put on it, that way when people ask me what is wrong I do not have to sit embarrassed and eke out an "I don't know" it seems so blank, the only thing that is VISIBLY wrong with me is the oxygen, if it were not for that they would just see a fat woman in a wheelchair, and like I do to various people who I see out.. They will say "If she lost some weight she'd be better"

I don't know what is wrong, I wish I did, even if it was something simple I would like to know. It's not the meds as I have been weaned off them and the symptoms that I was put on the meds for got worse again, so it's not the meds that are creating the side effects. Although, looking at the possible symptoms on the medication paperwork, you would think that it is the meds, but it's strange because all the meds I have been prescribed explain that some of the side effects are what the medication has been prescribed to prevent? Strange!

I had all the symptoms before going on the medication though and we worked on each one as and when needed so it's definitely not the medication which people are suggesting.

I'd rather know I'm dying than not know anything? That's deeper than it seems, what I am trying to say is that I just really really really REALLY want to know what is wrong with me? Pretty please?

Whilst I am sitting here typing this I have pain in my feets, pain in my calfs and shins, my knees ache back and front and inside, I have pain in my thighs and whatever the back bit is called, I have a LOT of pain in my hips which is getting far far worse it really is, OUCHIES, my back hurts as if I have broken it (I have felt the pain of a broken bone so don't lecture me telling me that how do I know what that feels like) my chest hurts, the muscles that surround the ribs at the back hurt, my shoulders hurt, my elbows hurt, my wrists hurt, my fingers all are bordering on being numb although I am using them to type, my neck REALLY hurts and my eyes hurt and keep going double vision, I also keep going rather dizzy and nauseous. Going to have to raid the cupboards for something to eat soon too.

Sorry for that, out of my system now heheh I really shouldn't vent on my blog, the poor people that still read it don't want to hear it.

Right I'm off, too hungry to do anymore

Huggles

x

Oh No!!!

Our snakes and Bob the Skink have reptile mites :( so not fair :( it means a costly de-miting process where we have to treat the snakes and their habitats. The horrible little biting barstewards!

I can't believe it, have no idea where we got them from, it could have been the Speckled King or the Pinstripe which were Simon's latest additions to the "fold" (it's not a fold of snakes I know I'm just loosely using that word) There isn't a snake that hasn't got them, Simon's mexi-black seems most troubled by them I think, bless his little heart, he's been throwing himself around and soaking in his water bowl for months. Which means actually that it wasn't the latest additions, I do hope it wasn't the Boa because in two weeks time I'll be having me a Boa for my little collection which will be three :)

Simon has gone to get bigger bowls for his snakes to bathe themselves in to attempt to ease the itch. I still can't believe it, how unlucky are we? :( bloody biting things that they are!

Why did amoebas evolve into parasites? It's not fair, all of them want rounding up and setting on fire and then we can get rid of them lol, it's so not fair. Though, are we parasites? No we don't actually live on the things we eat so at least we can't be called parasites lol

In other news, yes you heard already, next on my list is a Dwarf sonoran cross boa :) Simon's is just so beautiful I can't help but have one for myself, we'll be in trouble if they're not proper dwarves though as Boas can grow up to 14ft long! Heheh we'd have to sell them on, but we'd probably get a fair bit for them.

We should set up a breeding scheme and get ourselves off benefits and living off our sales of snakes, if we got a grand a snake we'd be laughing all the way to the bank. Only problem? We don't have the space or the money to set ourselves up, we'd have to buy expensive snakes 2 off to be able to sell expensive snakes.

I can't understand people wanting to keep venomous breeds though, I mean that's just daft surely, the Dangerous Wild Animals list is big and long and I cannot believe that anyone would purposely buy a venomous snake. Yes they are pretty but so are all non-venomous snakes. I know you have to have a licence to keep them and you have to have a room that you can put them in one with a lockable door that has NO gaps in it heheh.

When the children grow up and leave the nest, hopefully by then we will have ourselves a nice council house :) and we'll be able to have a room full of snakes :) how cool is that? Heheh, though I don't know if they would downgrade us if the children left home and we were still living in a council house? Will have to ask someone that has lived in one for years and years, next door seems like a safe bet for an answer.

That's all folks.

Huggles
x

oops...

Not been around for a while again, almost a month this time eek. Not really anything new to report though to be honest, health has taken a turn for the worst but that's boring stuff, nothing really interesting to report about, kids still enjoying school, Simon still enjoying being Simon and I'm just plodding on watching the days fly by, I must be having fun I guess, as time flies when you're having fun. Or is it that time has actually secretly gotten faster, no-one has noticed it, we just all carry on with our lives, THINKING that time is flying by, but really it is flying by because someone out there has made time go faster? MAgic.

Geesh, just think what I ccould do with myself if I had half a brain that actually functioned in real-time? Now is that faster real-time? lol *sigh*

I want to go and see A CHristmas Carol at the cinema but Si says we won't be able to go because of my wheelchair, I can't see a problem with it as the cinemas in Tamworth you go in from the back not the front. I might phone them and ask them how wheelchair friendly their cinemas actually are and then find out what extortionate prices they have lately, last time I went it was £10 for the two of us just to see the film without any food, so heaven knows how much it is now! We'd have to go in the day when the kids are at school too, as no matter how exciting the film is, I cannot see Euan sitting through it and behaving without claiming to want the toilet every five minutes because of the novelty.

There are other films that I want to see too, but it is just a pain in the arse and I bet it is far too expensive, but maybe we could have it as our monthly treat? Hmm that would be good no? heheh

Well, spending wise I have to buy footwear for the children, Bronny is still going to school in slip on summer pumps because she doesn't have any school shoes that actually fit. Oh poor Bronny, Rachael gave her some clothes and footwear ages ago and a pink coat, and she got picked on at school for having second hand things, and now again Connie and Kayleigh's Mum has given her some items of theirs and Katy the fat cow (sorry but she is a loud mouth fat cow, you had one at your school too didn't you? Or just a loud mouth that spoils everything all the time) picked on her and took the piss saying that she couldn't afford her own clothes so had to wear other people's clothing. It right on pisses me off because I was always in handmedowns from my sister and I had the piss taken out of me too because it was obvious they were handmedowns as they just didn't fit right... then you get the posh girls at school with their brandnew school uniform and their brand new up to the minute fashion bags and shoes, I used to hate them. I rebelled with DM's and a black long skirt, I didn't care, didn't want to be fashionable anyway. Actually I would have done anything just to fit in, but unfortunately Mum and Dad couldn't afford to buy me everything that I wanted, we were a poor family compared to most, only not poor enough to have free school dinners and stuff. Then when my Mum started work we were better off, but I still didn't get the stuff that I wanted, that was all for Clare, and I'dd have her second hand stuff. *sigh*.

Simon was lucky that way, being the oldest, he had no-one to handdown from so he had all new stuff bought for him.

WEll, when Bronny starts secondary school she is going to have everything brand new, I'm not going to go down the second hand route for her at all, I don't care how much it breaks the bank, I am not giving those cows any reason to take the piss, of course they will start on her because she has free school meals, but that's a good thing, at least she gets a guaranteed meal in her belly.

I was about to repeat about the shoes then, shows how boring my life is, I have shoes on the brain lol

I have to get Bronny some nice pj's for next year, for when they go on their camp, I don't want them taking the piss out of her then either, and have to get her a few nice outfits so she has changes of clothes and stuff so she's not embarrassed to open her bag in front of everyone.

Simon has come to bed now, I was supposed to be going to bed an hour or more ago lol

So night night all

Keep well

Huggles

x

click click, finally got it!

My camera arrived on Fri 25th, which wasn't bad considering I only bought it on Thursday 24th! I still have to remember to give feedback on it *posts a mental note* I'm over the moon with it, I was initially disappointed with my ability to use the supermacro option, but upon looking at the pictures on a lappy screen rather than the 2.5inch screen on the camera, I can actually say that the pictures were actually better than I first thought them to be. So I'm happy now. Just need to learn how to use it properly as it's not just an auto click and shoot camera, well it can be, but it has lots of other options too, like changing the speed, the aperture, the ISO and everything completely changing how a picture looks, I wish I knew how to use it, a camera course would cost a bit of money though unless we could do it on benefits, as Si would probably be interested in doing the course too.

Spent all Sat money yet again on milk money (£40!) and shopping, one day I will have this money to myself heheh, I can't complain though because I did spend all that money on my camera on Thursday. Which reminds me I'll need to put next month's money in with the rent to make up for spending the full £250 when only having £189 to pay back into it, so I'll have no money next week either.

I need to start paying the bill on my catalogue before I start getting charged interest on it :S though I've not actually had a statement yet so it means that the bill hasn't been created, so I will have to wait for it to be created before I can set up a standing order of £5 a week to pay it off, unless I just put that money in the advantage account and then just pay off £20 a month off the bill every month, not decided how to do it yet. Will have to have a serious think. I've not really got much to pay back anyway only having a credit limit of £175 and that was only because I put those orders through on a new account, so they transferred it to my old account and then decided that yes, I could have a credit limit heheh. I don't know whether to order something else once those returns have been calculated, I do need a couple of nice tops to wear with my jeans other than just a jumper, I need some thinner tunics too, to wear to people's houses where it's warmer in the house than it is outside, although I need to keep an eye on how much of their money I am spending because I don't have money every week to pay it back.

Well, the forum is well and truly dead now, hardly anyone comes on the forum, and when they do come on the forum they do one or two posts or not even any at all, and then bugger off, even the regular regulars are not posting anymore. :( I am so tempted to stop paying the fees and just let it die, there are plenty of other places we can all meet up to talk after all, although nowhere has the atmosphere that TN had, not towards me anyway.

Oh well, all good things have to come to an end I guess.

Euan has just said a VERY NAUGHTY word to Bronny. F You. :O I'm shocked, I know he hears that type of language on the pc games and at school but even so I've never heard him come out with that sort of thing before and I am disgusted at him, it just goes to show I'm not strict enough when it comes to language and I use too much of it myself in front of them :( *sobs* I will have to stop swearing in front of them, that way if they don't hear it at home, they won't say it at home and then hopefully they will learn that it is naughty to use that type of language anywhere. So whether it be PC games, or me, it's my fault anyway as I am letting both children be witness to foul language.

Weather looks threateningly like rain today, it's warmish in the house being a temperature of 26.5, that's probably quite warm for this time of year, but that's because of all the heat mats and heat bulbs in this room, and not forgetting the new loft insulation is doing it's job! heheh

I'm going to go out and do a photo shoot of my beautiful wabbitses when the shopping delivery has arrived (and gone) because I've not had a photoshoot for a while and certainly an excuse to use my new camera don't you think? It's just a shame that I can't spend more time with them, but I am sure they are both fine as they have always been wabbit wabbits and not humans wabbits (they would rather keep each other's company than make friends with me) although when being held to tidy up her skirt, Jasmin seemed to enjoy the cuddle even though she gave me a good old stamp of her feet when I let her go lol, she's such a moody bugger.

We've changed our preferences of which school Bronny is going to, simply because next door called our first choice (based on Bronny's initial request) the school from hell, especially if you're a girl, if you're a boy and go to school with short hair and it's too short, you're placed in isolation until it grows to a reasonable length! and one male pe teacher called next door's daughter's friend an anorexic cow. Hannah has had a few run ins with teachers too, with them picking on her calling her ginge for instance, and last year shotgun shells were found on the school premises so police were swarming the school for days looking for evidence and not one parent was told about it, they didn't even send a letter out to reassure the parents that had found out about it. The school bus to Norton was cancelled because of drug dealing and fighting! It sounds like a right hell hole. I'm glad that Simon asked next door what they think now :) *phew*

Obviously to protect Bronny in the future I am not going to state what school she will hopefully be going to, we'll just have to wait and see.

That's me all bloggled now.

Huggles

x

waiting....

for Thursday to come so that I can order my camera to arrive on Friday :D woot. I can't wait. I had the choice of waiting a month and buying a bottom of the range SLR camera but Simon said I would probably not notice the difference between the standard S5100 from the whatever it is that is an SLR camera (twice the price) Simon said a mid-range SLR would cost me 500 - 600 and that would take me at least 3 months to save for and I know that's not possible so I am going for the standard camera on Thursday heheh.

Euan keeps pestering me for a sweetie, which is really annoying, I shouldn't buy sweeties, I always feel used when I buy sweeties and the children nag me for them all the time. It's sweetie buying day tomorrow though, I can just feel those yummilicious sweeties in my mouth, especially the fizzy sweeties like cola bottles and the fizz bomb sweeties. I shouldn't waste money on sweeties and my teeth are going to be in a bad condition for tomorrow (we have the dentist at 09:40) but I want I want lol I'm so bad! Sweeties will be after the dentist which seems a bit contradictive heheh.

Bronny has gone on Crossfire heh, she has been nagging me for ZP so that she can buy an axe but I THINK it would cost me £10 for her to have an axe so I might ignore her for as long as possible, she does deserve a treat for helping Simon so much when I was in an arse though, I was so pissed off that he had not even tried to fit my bedside table in because he THOUGHT it wouldn't fit, I told him I didn't care what happened to the room as long as I had my bedside table, and until I started whining like a biatch, he wasn't going to give me one either. That's why Bronny ended up helping him and not me, because I was pissed with him for not doing me a bedside table rofl anyway it wasn't about that. I guess giving her £10 of ZP is cheaper than buying her something which is £19.99. Especially as once the £19.99 thing has run out it will be useful, at least with ZP she'll have the axe for a long time, until she sells it that is.

Yadda yadda.

I can't see Tia anymore :( which is not fair in the slightest :( I want to be able to see her :( She is in the faunarium inside the viv, and it's because she's in the viv that I cannot see her, it was OK when she was on my desk because I could see her, but now she's way up there I can't see her anymore.

Simon is out at the doctors, he has a chest infection (he thinks) so he's gone to the docs to ask for some anti-biotics. He's been breathing badly for well over a week now and he has been coughing at night a bit, also he's been sweating literally buckets over the last few days too, which normally means that he is fighting some kind of infection be it viral or bacterial. He's been quite a while so far, I hope that he's not waiting for too long, it's nearly an hour after when his appointment was due :(

He has just come home and told me that they had booked five people in at the same time and there was only one doctor covering it.

Apparently he doesn't have a chest infection, although his syptoms are that of a chest infection, it's his inhaler that is not actually working and hasn't been working for some time which has caused his symptoms now.

I will have to go now it's Euan's bedtime....

Huggles x

Move

Well, we have finished moving the room around, the only problem that I have now is that the stuff I had stored behind my desk now has to find a loving home elsewhere and there isn't actually anything that I could throw away :( It's all needed otherwise it would have already been thrown away. At this moment in time Bronny's bedroom is an absolute tip and she can't even get in her wardrobe because it is stacked to bursting with my stuff that now doesn't have a home :S I don't know what to do with it all, I haven't even started trying to find a home for it all because I know there is nowhere to bloody put it, I have been left with 0zero storage space, complete zilch, I was supposed to be having the cupboard but all Simon's stuff is in there so there is now no room for me. If you look at it, this room is Simon's room and I'm just squished in at the last minute, he hasn't thought about me and what I want in the slightest, he's just designed the room around him how HE wants it and then left me to do what I do and sit on the bed, at least he's not taken that away from me, at least I still have the bed to rest on and to sit on whilst on my laptop. It took a lot of pissyness and bickering for me to even get my bedside table, I can only hope that it all still fits when he gets his viv stack.

Tehya is sitting on top of the python, and until I complained to Simon about the heat, she was suffering in a temperature of 32degreesC all over her faunarium when it's a maximum of 31 degrees in the HOT end, supposed to be, poor little mite, after quite a bit of moaning last night and again this morning he agreed to help me raise Tehya's viv so that it wasn't being heated by the python's ceramic bulb underneath which kicks out a LOT of heat. Thankfully after lifting her an inch off the python's tank the heat from the ceramic bulb is escaping and not going straight into Tehya's viv above him. At least we know that when the viv stack arrives, the python has GOT to be on top, there's no other order that is possible, unless the heat from the ceramic bulb is used in the place of a heat mat but then it can't be controlled, can't be just turned down to stop it heating the viv above too much because that would be detrimental to the python.

I shouldn't complain though, the room does look nicer as it is now instead of all over the place like it was and at least both of our spideys have a home too, would be nice for them to have a home each in the viv stack though, would look really nice. Oscar seems to like the new layout too, only because he gets more Lizard catching space, have had to tell him off about four times already for trying to swipe at Rex. *rolls eyeballs*

Rent is only going to be four days late this month, have already worked out that October's rent will be on 8th Oct bang on which is when it SHOULD be paid.

Now, the Green Paper. I think it's a load of crap, utterly truly wuly, it's just a way for the government to get lots of money back from the people who most need it and feed it into the social services where that person lives, which means I will then have to rely on the social services to get us about, we'd lose the car, Simon would have to go out and find a job and I would be left on my own to look after the children and myself, so I'd have to go out and get myself a mobility scooter somehow (what chances have I got unless someone pays for it for me?) so I could take the children to school and back, yes I would relish the chance, but not if it means that I am to be on my own or trying to work. I mean how the hell can they find me a job when I am asleep for half of the waking hours, I am depressed, I can't think straight and I can't sit for a long time, I can't stand up, I can't walk, I can't do a sit down job because that inevitably means using a pc or doing something repetitive which I cannot do because that hurts my arms, and I can't sit in the same position for more than 10 minutes without getting back ache and having to lie down to rest my spine, I can't see any job allowing me to lie down and rest every so often. It's impossible, there's the fact about short term memory loss too, there's no way I could deal with customers because I would forget what I had told them or done about it. Then there's the fact that I don't know what I'm doing half of the time never mind anyone else, it would not be fair to expect me to work in a work environment. Not forgetting the vertigo, that is so bad I cannot turn my head. I can see lots of disabled people complaining about this and there is no way on earth they could have asked real disabled people what they think about it, they will probably have asked those who are able to work and earn quite a bit of money doing it, not those who are stuck at home and cannot go out to work.

I'm sad now because I'm scared for our future, if they take away the disability we will have to live on the child tax credits, and also be expected to pay bills and feed and clothe ourselves with that pittance that I get. We will also lose the car which is what we need to get around as a family, we would never be able to visit our relatives again, because buses never run on time and at the same time, for instance to go to Tamworth, it used to take 2 - 3 hours on the train or the bus, because the connection times were wrong, the trains didn't run consecutively, so we'd have to wait an hour or more just to get the next bus when Tamworth is only 20 minutes away by car. There is NO way we'd be able to visit Christina and Gary.

The government needs to STOP allowing all these immigrants into the country, the gates should be shut and locked tight and we only let the English people back in, and those travelling on holiday. We are giving far too much money away to other countries by having their people in our Country, I'm not being racist, it's a fact. They come to this country, they get given benefits, housing benefit, income support and even disability in some cases. We should be like Australia and Canada, there should be a points system and you should have to have something to give the country instead of take take take.

I hate this country I really do, I wish we could emigrate to a country that is sensible and not selfish and all the fat cats getting fatter whilst the skinny people get skinnier and die. :(

*stops thinking about it* I wish I wasn't part of the group that keeps telling me all of this stuff now actually, I'd rather be kept in the dark, I really would, it's scary knowing what they are doing next.

If you want more information about what I have waffled on about, or you are confused as to what I'm talking about, please email me at carol.venables@gmail.com and I'll provide you with more information. Or you can leave a message here :)

I'm off now heheh


Huggles.

x

hello world

I'm in the mood for waffling and as there is no-one around that wants to listen to me waffle, I thought I would come on my blog and waffle here, that way you can just scroll past the crap if you want to. Not sure how many people read this now it's actually public, not even sure I should have made it public, but as long as I don't type anything damning I should be OK. I won't be done for slander if I don't slander anyone lol not that I would anyway unless they had really wronged me.

Forum isn't doing "too bad" of late, at least there has been more than one member on at times and there is a few new posts to reply to at least. I notice on Vikki's posts that she has a posh camera, that one has been discontinued though, I think the one I am after is practically the same it's just been given a new name. I hope it is as good anyway. That's nothing personal to Vikki by the way, Ijust noticed her camera on the pics she has been taking lately is all.

We're off to Nottingham tomorrow to a fish place to trade Simon's snakeheads in for Oscar/s I THINK he's only going to get one though, the rest of his credit note will probably end up being spent on food for said Oscar, have to get up early because Si doesn't want me to be in bed still at lunchtime when he wants to either have been and gone or already be there. I just want to makek the most of the rest of the holiday's lie-ins and he's spoiling it by making me get up lol he claims that I should be getting up early to get used to getting up at 7.30 again to get the kids off to school, I would never be ready for 7:30 starts and never get used to them, I just physically cannot be doing with getting up that early regardless of what time I go to bed, I just have to do it without complaint 5 days a week so many weeks in a year. Never mind before we know it, it'll be half term and I'll be able to start all over again with my "lunchtime lieins" lol, well strictly speaking it's mid morning to me, I get up between 10:30 and 11:00am, for a lie-in that's not bad considering my lie-ins lasted until gone lunchtime when I lived at home rofl

Bleugh I feel sick, I've just glugged half a pint of summerfruit squash and it's made me feel rather sicky heheh. Simon is complaining that he is stuffed from all the mash he ate, all I'm saying is he didn't HAVE to eat that much, he could have put some by for tomorrow or something, I only made so much because we had run out of peas, he ate it anyway so it's his fault for feeling totally stuffed lol

I have this window open doing my blog (tab I mean) and the other tab is someone plowing at my farm for me :) heheh I am sooooooooo lazy all I do is sit and watch them harvest and plow so all I have to do is the sowing of seeds, I wish they could do that too lol I'd love to be able to watch the little people doing everything for me whilst I just sit here and watch. I don't know why I bother playing it anymore heheh, I always end up getting others to do stuff then grumble when planting seeds.

Watched Penelope, heheh it was good, not as good as I thought it would be but it's good, I think I would have done the same as her, if I had been kept in hiding for all those years I would have run away and found life. It's a shame that she had to lose the nose that she grew up with but she became beautiful for having got rid of the curse. If I were to be cursed like that I think I would have wanted to do the same thing as she did.

I'm definitely waffling now, I'm off to bed I think, more than past my bedtime judging by the last few days/weeks.

I hope that all is well in the world tonight, and that all my friends are snuggled up in their beds to sleep tight.

Huggles

x

Drayton Manor 28 August 2009

Went to Drayton Manor yesterday, got value tickets with clubcard vouchers, so instead of paying £80 to get in, I paid £28 worth of clubcard vouchers to get four tickets :) Simon was confused as to why we could make such a great saving and there must be small print or something like that but no, it worked out hunky dory. The kids started going on rides in Thomas Land first, and after we did all but three of the rides in Thomas Land (didn't do troublesome trucks rollercoaster because the queue was way too long and we actually missed another two) we then moved on to the bigger rides in the park, the children and Simon went on Stormforce 10 whilst I sat and watched, even the viewing platform was up a pile of stairs. I have to say that Drayton Manor has to be one of the most anti-disabled places on the planet. I have every mind to complain to them about the way that every queue is either up a slope (steep slope) or upstairs, meaning poor old me couldn't go on them. I would have loved to have gone on a few of the rides but no, not possible, not even the simple ones like Splash Canyon and Pirate Adventure have no way of allowing disabled people access. I really was disappointed, even though I went knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to go on any of the rides, I was expecting to be told by the ride operator that I couldn't go on it because of my oxygen or something, not to be not even able to get up as far as the ride operators. I guess theme parks are not for disabled people :(

The food was disgusting too, it was cold, soggy and they ruined the cheeseburger by putting bloody mustard on it, who puts mustard on a cheeseburger without checking whether you want it or not first? bleugh, it ruined it for Simon too, £20 of food that was disgusting and less than second rate, at least the ducks liked it (we threw lots of chips and stuff for the ducks heheh)

When we had the real icecream in a real icecream cone (the big waffle ones like cornetto but bigger) that was nice and worth the money, three flavours, strawberry, chocolate and vanilla (I had two vanilla balls because I don't like chocolatemuch), they were dripping all over the place and made a sticky mess of all of us, but they were worth it,absolutely gorgeous icecreams they were :D I should expect so at £2.80 each heheh, £11.20 on icecreams *blush* naughty us. All in all we spend nearly £40 just on food without spending a penny on games or souvenirs!

Next time we go if there ever will be a next time, we'll leave the change of clothes and stuff in the car so I don't have to worry about my huge handbag being nicked off me all day, that ruined it quite a lot because I was constantly holding tight on to it and looking around to make sure no-one was trying to nab it, it only had my phone in it as something valuable but my phone has not been insured yet so the last thing I needed was to have it stolen from me.

I'm off now because i'm monged and I cannot fight the mongedness and tiredness anymore :P xx

Huggles

x

Tehya finally stopped me worrying

Tehya finally stopped me worrying today by providing me with an absolutely perfect skin with both eyecaps at 21 inches long :) I am so pleased for her, it was a bloody long shed though at least three - four weeks, I guess I didn't help by keep disturbing her :S

I'm so pleased.

Huggles

x

Borreddd

I need to find a forum which is all the rage and everyone is really friendly and there's no clickyness in the member ranks and there's ALWAYS something to do. That's what our forum used to be like but so many people just cannot be arsed with it anymore. Everyone has changed and moved on. I just need somewhere to be part of and have lots of friendies and always have someone to talk to about something or other. I'm lonely, Mr Lonely, got nobody.. of my own.. *singing snails from Flushed Away* heheh.

I just need somewhere to fit in and feel wanted, at the moment I don't fit anywhere, I'm like a square peg constantly trying to fit in a round hole. *woe is me* never mind, I guess I'm not the only one out there that is craving for friendship.

I should spend more time OFFLINE with my family and really I guess, I think Simon would like me to be sitting next to him whilst he's watching television downstairs. The problem is most of the things that he watches just don't interest me, and a lot of the time I'm monged with my eyes so I cannot focus on what is happening anyway.

Bronny, Euan and Simon are playing COD5 at the moment and all I can hear is Bronny moaning that she is being killed heheh, bless her, she is obviously no good at hiding from Si and Euan, other than that she's just crap at the game heheh.

I don't think COD5 will work on the laptop, it barely works on my computer and that is graphically much better than my laptop. Laptops, unless purpose built for the occasion are no good with games. You can spend thousands on a gaming laptop though, but I just don't see the point, I'm happy with my little chugger. rofl

We have found a piece of kit that allows us to stream films and videos etc from abroad, we sat and watched Monsters Vs Aliens the other morning, which was really good :) Not as good as the trailer gives it credit for but it is good. It's called Grabazoid, it installs a player thingy on your system and you watch the things through that, you can watch TV Shows and various documentaries and such on it. I think it's probably illegal in this country, but as long as I have a free 30 day trial I am going to use it and act ignorantly innocent if something goes wrong. It's the company that have got the thing running that are at fault anyway not me, because i'm not actually downloading anything from them, just streaming.

*rolls eyes* they're playing ANOTHER game of COD5, that'll be an hour of solid play, whatever are they like lol

Bloody hell I didn't realise the cat was asleep right next to my leg lol,, he's just moved and scared the crap out of me, I didn't know what it was hahah

*yawn* I'm bored now. I tried to become part of it all at RFUK, but the problem is that they are all way too clicky there, if you don't fit in then your posts just don't get a look in, I've had posts that I have created have 100's of views and not one reply :(

My Mum has added me to msn, the problem being is that she won't ever be on when I am on, so we won't get to chat anyway, I've sent her a "private message" to see how she is and what she did on her holiday so I could find out how much fun she had, will have to wait and see if it gets a response. Unfortunately when I added her to my network, I added lots of other contacts that have been not on my msn for years, and now they are back again, I deleted them because I never talked to them. Perhaps we will start to talk from now on.

I'm sick of Bronny shouting! grr, well in 9 minutes time her pc will shut down on her anyway and that will be the end of it, though she'll have a pissy fit saying it's the holiday and why should the pc close down on her etcetc, I know it's not fair, I would have set it to 8:30 to give her time to get off stuff, to say goodbye to her friends etc, but I guess she'll have to get used to it closing down at 8pm and have plenty of time to say goodbye to her friends before 8pm comes. That's Vista's parental controls by the way heheh, it will close down at 8pm and you can't go on it before 9am in the morning,, if she tries it just won't start up, this is because we don't want her going on it from 6am in the morning, if she knew she'd get to go on it she'd get up early especially, out of childlike excitement, which is only natural, but the controls are set so it will not switch on before 9am I don't think even admin can get it to switch on before 9am, other than changing the time in thecontrols. It's cruel but it's a good idea to stop her being on the pc too early and too late, she would sneak on it when Simon was downstairs and I was resting in bed and she'd end up on it until Simon caught her way past 10pm at night which wouldn't be very good for her on a school night.

My butt has gone numb, just shows that I have to move, I can't be arsed lol ;)

I think it's time to sign out of bloggy though because I'm not really doing anything anyway.

Huggles

x

tireddd so damn tireeddd

I have been so tired lately to the point of exhaustion, I get up between 10 and 11am in the morning, I manage to stay awake until about 2-3pm in the afternoon then I have to have a sleep again, when the children are in bed, by 9pm I am crawling into bed myself and I sleep until Simon comes to bed, then when we've got in bed properly I have gone back to sleep again, until 10-11am, so I am getting more than 12 hours sleep a day, sometimes as much as 16 hours sleep, but I am still exhausted. It's not a case of a vicious circle the more I sleep the more I want to sleep, it is literally because I need it, Simon often queries the fact that I need so much sleep but I don't know how to answer other than if I didn't need it I wouldn't sleep it?

I am going to try and not have a sleep today and see how I go, although I am already getting monged from getting up at 10am this morning, I should be going to sleep in the next hour, but I am going to really try and fight it and see how we get on, if I can stop the daytime sleep and just sleep of a night time, even if itis early, then at least we'll be able to do stuff in the days because I am up and awake? I hope so anyway.

I want to go for a walk over the Chase but Simon says no way not with the children because they'll just play up, I can't get it through to Simon's head that the reason why they play up is because they don't know HOW to behave when out of the house because we don't go out often enough for them to learn how to behave.

It's time to try Tehya with a mouse again tonight, I think I'll be wasting my time but hopefully she will actually get off her butt and take it this time, I'm going to try strike feeding her with it to see how it goes, all Simon's snakes feed wonderfully, even his troublesome python, but no, not my Tehya, she's not interested in eating, she just wants to hide for most of the day when it's dark perhaps pop out for a five minute "stroll"

I'm quite worried about her actually as she's been "dull" as if in shed for.. *counts* 3-1/2 weeks now and it should last a mere 10-14 days. :S I just hope she is going to shed OK when she finally decides to actually shed and that she sheds with a perfect skin with eyecaps in the head piece. Hopefully she will shed soon and then eat something! heheh.

Today is week 6 since she has eaten, hopefully she is getting hungee now and will eat for me! I've wasted so many meeces by trying to feed her them to no avail. I might try a strike feed tonight and see how we go.

Bronny is making strange noises trying to get some foam "clothing" on her Bratz doll, it sounds like she's trying to get herself into a dress which is 2 sizes too small for her rofl. Euan is playing on COD5 (Call Of Duty) Simon is sitting downstairs listening out for the delivery (Bronny's new pc bits) I really feel sorry for her as she had the temporary pc on her birthday which never really worked properly, she probably got about 5 hours out of it before the motherboard failed to post, that was on her birthday on 5th August and her new pc bits are arriving today, which is 13 days after her birthday, nearly two weeks bless her soul, though she'll be one happy pumpkin when it is installed as it will be faster than my pc in the bedroom and my laptop, it'll be shit hot for a kid heheh. She is so spoiled bless her. We spent about £50 on Euan's birthday and we spent about £100 on Bronny :S *blush* though my excuse is that it IS a special birthday, her first double figure birthday and she'll only be 10 once. Lordy knows what we will get for her 16th birthday lol

Euan wants a pc too in his bedroom, but I have told him that he has to be 10 years old, and a responsible 10 years old before he gets HIS own pc in his bedroom. Not cost, it's about age, he's not old enough to be trusted properly on a pc so he has to be watched, especially as he signs himself into things such as places where he can chat and they say things untoward. Simon banned ourworld on the router because someone said to my 7 year old boy (who admittedly was signed in as being 13) "if I go out with you will you cheese all over me?" Simon and I were disgusted, even for a 13 year old that is disgraceful, so he immediately banned the web address from being able to be accessed on any of our computers including his own.

We have to understand and set up the parental controls on Bronny's PC, according to SImon vista has it's own special Parental Control set up and you can set times that the PC is able to be switched on, then if the PC is switched on or attempted switch on when it's not in the allowed times, it just won't switch on. which is really good because it will stop her waking up in the middle of the night and switching it on, or will stop her waiting for us to go to bed and then going on it, or going on from 6am in the morning.

Bronny is moaning for lunch so I'll have to go in a minute (yes I took heed Jane, they have three meals a day again now ;) ) well, three minutes to be precise, tick tick tick heheh, to be honest I'm all out of blog anyway, anything else I write will be more waffle than the waffle before it because I'm tired and all out of things of remote importance (to me) to say.

I'm glad that people still read my blog but I still think you are nutters for doing so, it's always compllete and utter waffle about nothing in particular and is never in any type of order, I'll mention something in the first instance and then mention it again about 5 paragraphs down lol

Right, I'm off.

Huggles.

x

Fibromyalgia

If you were born with healthy genes, you may know me but you don't
understand me. I was not as lucky as you. I inherited the predisposition to
chronic pain, fatigue and forgetfulness. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia
(FMS) after months, years or even decades of mysterious physical and
emotional problems. Because you didn't know how sick I was, you called me
lazy, a malingerer, or simply ridiculous. If you have the time to read on, I
would like to help you understand how different I am from you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FIBROMYALGIA

1. FMS is not the newest fad disease. In fact, it isn't a disease at all,
and it isn't even new. In 1815, a surgeon at the University of Edinburgh,
William Balfour, described fibromyalgia. Over the years, it has been known
as chronic rheumatism, myalgia and fibrositis. Unlike diseases, syndromes do
not have a known cause, but they do have a specific set of signs and
symptoms which, unfortunately for the patient, take place together.
Rheumatoid arthritis and lupus are also syndromes.

2. The many physical and emotional problems associated with FMS are not
psychological in origin. This is not an "all in your head" disorder. In
1987, the American Medical Association recognized FMS as a true physical
illness and major cause of disability.

3. Syndromes strike life-long athletes as viciously as they do couch
potatoes. They can be disabling and depressing, interfering with even the
simplest activities of daily life.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

1. My pain - My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation.
Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I can not work my pain
out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my
shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to
be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep
disorders. It is not well understood, but it is real.

2. My fatigue - I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of
exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can't.
Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall
yesterday, but I can't help you with yard work today, it isn't because I
don't want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles
beyond their capability.

3. My forgetfulness - Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may
not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I
promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem
has nothing to do with my age but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do
not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term
memory at all.

4. My clumsiness - If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a
crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control
for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days,
I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

5. My sensitivities - I just can't stand it! "It" could be any number of
things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, odors. FMS has been
called the "aggravating everything disorder." So don't make me open the
drapes or listen to your child scream. I really can't stand it.

6. My intolerance - I can't stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man,
I sweat...profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally
embarrassing, so please don't feel compelled to point this shortcoming out
to me. I know. And don't be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it's
cold. I don't tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and
nobody knows how to fix it.

7. My depression - Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in
the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients
suffered from FMS as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting
pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull
me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

8. My stress - My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my
job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I'm not lazy.
Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

9. My weight - I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by
choice. My body is not your body. My appestat is broken, and nobody can tell
me how to fix it.

10. My need for therapy - If I get a massage every week, don't envy me. My
massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that
charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body.
Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is
knot-filled. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least
temporarily.

11. My good days - If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don't
assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no
cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good
days are what keep me going.

12. My uniqueness - Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike. That means
I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above and
below the waist and on both sides of my body which has lasted for a very
long time. I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain,
but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else.

I hope that this helps you understand me, but if you still doubt my pain,
your local bookstore, library and the internet have many good books and
articles on fibromyalgia.

Author's note: This letter is based on communications with people throughout
the world, males and females, who suffer from fibromyalgia. It does not
represent any one of the over 10,000,000 people with FMS, but it can help
the healthy person understand how devastating this illness can be. Please do
not take these people and their pain lightly. You wouldn't want to spend
even a day in their shoes...or their bodies.

it's bloody hot

or should I have said "it ain't half hot Mum"? heheh

I'm waiting for Tehya's dindins to warm up so I can try her with it, I am hoping that as it's day 29 of no eating that she will actually take it this time, I'm worried about her though as she's still not shed, so she's way overdue now. I've been offering her a pinky every 5 days, which is what you're supposed to do with a young snake, but she's just not interested. They said that she refused to eat if they sat and watched her at the shop but when they put her back in her rack she would eat nicely for them. I don't have the facility to make her feel as though she's in the safety of a comfinement that means all but one side is in the dark, I don't think I want to give her that confinement either. I guess she just has to get used to where she is living, though she still hasn't shed so I'm thinking she's not going to eat until she HAS shed :S I don't know what is going to happen. I provided her with a moss hide for her to go in to help hydrate her enough to loosen her skin so I just don't understand it, I just hope it's not messed up because I have held her a couple of times whilst she's "in shed". Her eyes haven't gone blue/grey either yet, but they might have done that in the night and been OK by morning so we didn't notice. Simon and I are pretty sure that she IS shedding though because she went noticeably dark a couple of days to a week after I purchased her. Geesh that's a long time.

Have not seen Bob much these last few days, though to be honest I've not really paid attention to his housing so he could have been sitting there looking at me like he normally does, and I've not noticed. I just hope that he is OK too, he seems to go through moodswings where he is happy and interested in his surroundings, then all of a sudden he is not interested and is bored with where he is living, hence Simon's constant fidgetting and moving around of his accommodation lol

Oscar hasn't been near me much over the last week or two either, I guess it's cuz the children are off school and normally where I am, the children are and he wants some peace and quiet away from them. I'm dreading going back to getting up at 7:30am for 5 days a week, I hate it, I wish I didn't have to do it, I'd much rather get up an hour later. At least when the children are a bit older and able to make their own breakfast I won't have to get up so early, Simon can get them up and then I'll come downstairs a bit later on as they are getting ready to leave LOL AS IF! Even when they ARE old enough to do their own breakfast (Bronny should be at the age of 10) I don't think they would want to and I know for a fact that Simon wouldn't want them to either, because he's always going on about germs and them touching things and he refuses to touch the things or eat things that the children have been remotely near. I guess I'll have to brush up on their hygiene skills, Bronny has started washing her hands all the time, but I don't think the little terror does, I think he doesn't bother EVER washing his hands :S I guess it's my fault for not drumming it in to him, they don't clean their teeth every day either *blushes lots*

Right, starting tomorrow there will be a wake up call in this house, from now on the children ARE going to clean their teeth after they have eaten for brunch, and then they will clean their teeth at bedtime, every day, Euan WILL wash his hands after every bathroom visit and before every meal. Then Simon will have no excuse but to eat food that has been near them because they will be as clean, if not cleaner as/than him.

Time to try and feed pinky to Tehya now, it's all gone dark which means it's nearly ten o'clock which means mousey has been out defrosting for 2.5 hours, which is plenty of time for a pinky, I might leave it a little bit longer to be on the safe side. I'd rather make her wait if she IS in fact waiting than feed her a frozen mouse that will damage her insides, I don't actually know what it will do to her on the whole but I'm imagining that it won't make her very well.

Speaking of very well, I've not been feeling too good of late never mind very well, not sure whether it is the heat or whether it's another bad patch, I can't remember what they are called right now, I hate it when my mind goes utterly blank when I'm trying to look for a word or phrase to type/say.

Uh oh, Oscar has just seen a moth or something that has arrived in the bedroom, which will probably be flying around my laptop real soon so I'm signing out now to switch it off. lol

Huggles

x

wooooh

Just had a phonecall offering me £20 for the hamster cage, considering we advertised it at £25 that's not too bad. She's coming from Stafford to pick it up round about 5pm this evening. Nice one, another £20 for the kitty (not the cat, for the kitty) heheh

Went to docs yesterday and she assured me that the other bits on the blood test are nothing to worry about, that they won't directly affect me but they are useful in diagnosing other things if need be she gave me some cypramil and some tramadol which I wanted and talked to me about my cholesterol level.

Got the dentist on Friday, I am well and truly crapping myself, I know for a fact that there is at least one tooth that they will want to fill or put a crown on, no more crowns, if fillings are not suitable then the bad tooth comes out is what I say, there is absolutely no way that I would tolerate having another crown after how much it hurt last time and I nearly passed out. After all that it being no point anyway because the tooth continued to rot away underneath the crown that they put in in Atherstone I think it was where I went.

At least we have a dentist that is a reasonable drive away instead of being all the way in Atherstone like the dentist was that we had in Tamworth and then Stafford, obviously I didn't bother going to the dentist again after moving to Gnosall because Atherstone is about 40-50 miles away from Gnosall at the least, so 100 mile round trip just for my teeth is not warranted.

Euan is pestering me to play on Call of Duty 4 with him so I shall have to go shortly. He won't wait for long lol I better bugger off and play I suppose.

Will blog again later methinks.

Huggles

x

Darnit and tartar sauce

This stupid bloggy thingy doesn't recognise me when I go on the page any more, I used to be able to click the link and then click new post but now I have to sign in, be redirected to the dashboard then find my blog and then click new post, not many more moves but it's just a pain in the old ass. lol

Simon is adamant that although Bronnybum is on her own pc and can spend nearly all day on it, Euan is only allowed 2 hours max in the day then another stint at night, it's just not fair for Euan but Simon says it's because she has her own pc now, but I don't care whether she has the Queen's PC, she shouldn't be allowed to have more time than Euan. I think it's all to do with the fact that Euan is in the bedroom, OUR bedroom on my pc.

Tehya still refused to feed last night :( I found her curled up like a baby around the mouse this morning but she wasn't remotely interested in feeding, I couldn't even get her to strike feed for me, will try again in five days time, but that will be lordy knows how many mice in the bin/down the loo, I think at least three bless her, I hope it's just because she's shedding and she'll go back to feeding like a good girly when she's shed, will just have to keep an eye on her because today is day 18 without food. :( She's too small to go without for too long :(

Shopping came today so I finally got some sugar for a cuppa, ran out yesterday morning, or the day before but it feels like a decade that I've not had a cuppa lol had Kelloggs Special K red berries for breakfast/lunch and plan to have a caesar salad for dinner unless something else props up. Simon can have a cooked meal tomorrow, for now there's yummy hotdogs that I bought for him, those frankfurter thingies, he likes them. He says he only went off them before because he was always eating them heheh.

I'm still not sure whether I am feeding the kids enough or not, they're eating brunch and then having a proper dinner, Bronny has a bit of a tum on her but I think that is because of all the takeaways we've had recently, because she always has a 1/4lb burger with cheese and fries/chips or something big when we go to Burger King :S Euan hasn't put an ounce on, I think he's like his Grandad (my Dad) he could eat a house and not put any weight on, whereas the rest of us in the family only have to look at a cream cake to put the ounces on lol.

I've got a headache yet again, I think it's because of my neck because I don't have a headache when I am lying down properly in the right position, it's just that my neck is causing a hell of a lot of tension and pain, and what doesn't help is that I can't see straight either so I'm really straining my eyes to focus on the same things. Stupid eyeballs, I need cocktail sticks so I can stick them in my eyeballs and fix them permanently into a position for best eyesight lol, ouch wouldn't that hurt, to have one's eyes stabbed with those damn things and then have them forced to look in the same place and forced open. Ouchies.

I think that bald professor, has been doing too much time travelling again lol (you'd have to read a past blog or be a member of my forum to understand what the f I'm talking about) time is going so quickly, one minute it's 7am in the morning and I've woken up too early, next minute it's 11am and I've over slept as far as the children are concerned, it's not just time where I am asleep that is disappearing either, daytime and evening time zooms past too.

Bleugh someone has farted and is not admitting it, this household are right stinky buggers I tell you, Simon especially his farts often make me gag and want to upchuck or choke to death, he's a right stinker, and when he's been in the bathroom for a number two, heaven help you if you need to go in straight after him lmao, your eyes burn and you struggle for breathe in the exceptionally sulfuric atmosphere rofl. Saying that it's a bleeder to go in after the kids too, they make your eyes burn back into the sockets, or even make them bleed rofl it's just a stinky family.

Euan's time is up on the pc now but I am just waiting to see if Simon notices and pulls him off or not, hopefully he won't notice so Euan gets a bit more time, but we'll have to see, Euan is pissing about before going into a game at the moment which is eating up time, he'll not have time to play the actual game :S Simon is playing WoW at the moment so might not think about the time, I know I'm not going to shout out that it's time up. Crap he's just looked at the time and told Euan he's got four minutes left :( poor Euan he's going to be piss bored all afternoon bless his heart. Simon is a stinky poo poo head with lots of rules that are way too strict.

Rules are made for breaking though right? That's what I grew up thinking anyway, which is probably why I got into quite a bit of trouble :( eeek heheh Euan's time now up and he's closed down like a good boy that he is, without complaint too bless his heart. Simon is a grumpy grots lol

My friend that I accused of blocking me and then lying to me by saying that she hadn't? Well, I realised that she wasn't lying when I saw her on yesterday or the day before, in the day, so I couldn't be blocked by her, so if you are reading, I am very sorry. Honestly I am.

I wonder how many people actually read my blogs? I know that one person reads it religiously, for some reason she actually enjoys reading my blogs and waits patiently for me to do another one. Bless :) Thank you to my friend :)

I am being watched by Tehya lol she can just see the top of my head I think, or maybe more of me and she's stretched up to the roof of her house looking at me :) she is a gorgeous lil thing, so precious to me :) I can't wait until she's shed so I can hold her again :) I want to hold her for longer this time instead of handing her over to Simon whilst I do stuff, I want her to sit comfortable in my hands and get used to be and not just Simon. heheh can't do anything until she's shed though :( *sulks*

That's it for now, another boring bloggy with nothing much interesting in it I'm afraid.

Til next time.

Huggles

x

bleugh

I'm covered in coconut fibre and sphagnum moss lol, we've changed our snakes onto coconut fibre because we have gone off the idea of the carefresh as Simon's snake had a problem with shedding on/in it his eyecap and a bit of his skin was retained so I had to gently pull it off whilst Simon held him.

Someone just mentioned something and it made me recall that I've not actually had a period for 6 years now lol, it's great! I hate periods, they're so ughhh She wasn't actually referring to a period, she was referring to something else, but she said coming on so I presumed that meant a period lol *shuts up*

Bronny is playing on her computer which has been given to her as an early birthday present, to be truthful it's not the actual pc she'll end up with as her proper present as it is going to be a complete new motherboard, and then Si will put his graphics card in and other items, which will mean in the long term that it will be a better pc than my laptop or my desktop lol, lucky girl. We just need the money to buy the upgrade items, which means it will be a couple of weeks before we upgrade.

She is also going to have the Bendaroos that I ordered from Hong Kong and a makeup kit :) that will be a very happy birthday for Bronny heheh. I want to get her a surprise too but I can't think of anything she'd want, the makeup kit was SUPPOSED to be a surprise but she damn well saw it on my laptop when I put it down for a second to do something for Simon, I left it on the screen because I didn't think about her even looking at it, but she's a nosey moo so she did look at it and now she knows that she's getting it :(

I need to buy her the lazer gaming mouse from the selection of things that Simon has added to his basket to upgrade her computer, it's £16.98 I can afford that even though I did a massive shop today (to be delivered tomorrow) as the rent is going to be a week late so I can use the money from the next rent cheque to add to this month's rent and clear it that way, then replace what I borrow from the next rent cheque with my DLA money. Sorted.

Oops I did it again

I blogged! lol sorry people but I can't help it, I just enjoy being boring and typing about my boring existence on this wonderful planet.

One of the questions I asked my forum friendies was whether they think that time is flying too fast or whether it's actually people with such busy lives that makes the time go so fast that they run out of hours in the day to do things... but then what about me? Time flies scarily for me to yet I do nothing during my days, I spend most of my days in bed, yes it does bother me, I don't do it by choice, I would rather have a life where we're active and going out doing things, but unfortunately that's not the way it is on this big ole dish that they call Earth, it's not even a dish, why did I say that? I meant ball, honestly I did. Why don't I just go and correct it and you'll all never know I made a stupid mistake with words? It's more fun to just leave it there, it'll get a snigger out of the best of you at least, I mean, let's laugh at the dunce who doesn't even know how to depict a round thing, yes a dish is round but it's not round round round is it, like 3d round, it's just well... round.

That brings me along to another thought, who invented shapes and why did they not just call them something easy, like circle is easy but triangle would be threeangle, square and rectangle and any other shape with four angles would be fourangle, pentagon, fiveangle, hexagon sixangle and so on and so forth (yes I DO know the rest, like septagon, octagon, nonagon, decagon) hehehe, I bet they're not even called that I just funked them outta my ed.

Anyway, back to time, I propose that there is a little bald man in a white overcoat somewhere in a lab with his magnificent time machine, but in his calculations he doesn't realise that every time he travels in time, he steals time from his original universe being us, which is why time flies, it doesn't fly, it is being stolen by some bumf in a lab somewhere, it is, honestly, you don't believe me? Then you explain why time seems to be flying, go on... I dare ya.

*waits for comments from very clever people who actually have a scientific reasoning for it*

Well, I have managed to waffle so far, which is good because it takes my mind off worrying about tomorrow, you see I have a very important hospital appointment tomorrow, it's the be all and end all. I'm either going to be told I have, or haven't got angina, which to me is quite important, I hope it is the controlled type too, otherwise I am in trouble... I really hope that all the pains and symptoms are just symptomatic of whatever else I am struggling along day to day with, but it would actually explain a lot of things, like for instance why I've struggled to breathe for the last two and a half years and why I can't take a full breath in or a deep breath out without it hurting my chest a lot. I am trying so hard to take it lightly, I didn't tell anyone about the appointment when I was first referred I just told Simon that they were "just blood tests" I didn't tell him that I am being referred to the Rapid Access Angina Clinic, he told me off for that, and because I kept that from him, he wants, in fact insists that he's coming in with me tomorrow, even though we have to drag the kids in with, I would like to go in with Simon, but I think the kids are just going to be naughty and distract me when I am trying to listen to what is being said.

I know for a fact that they'll not be able to test me on a treadmill, simply because I cannot walk far enough to be able to do the readings I am sure that my 5-10 metres of walking steps is not going to be enough for them to get an accurate reading from it. *sigh* I don't know how they're going to find out whether I have got it or not.

On to brighter things, my children are being quite good this holiday, they are taking it in turns on the pc because Bronny is banned from my laptop, after she installed various things onto it and broke firefox and basically the laptop, though saying that I have also been on "our world" on here since we re=installed everything and since then I've had issues with the lappy being slow at times, so it MUST install something in the background, it's the only explanation.

I am in the middle of installing printer software so that I can print Emma's cv's off for her and as soon as I'm done I can text her and let her know that they are ready for collection, I think she is going to be applying for more jobs bless her, she's not happy in her present role, and what makes it worse is that her boss is also her friend. I don't think anyone should ever have an out of work relationship with their work colleagues because it always causes problems somewhere down the line, even if it is just friends, if they work in a completely different part of an office, not in the same room and their paths don't cross then I think that it is OK but other than that I think that they shouldn't be having relationships, even friendships. nada nada.

Jebus this software is taking a fair time to install, I only want to use the printer for heaven's sake! heheh hopefully it will install soon so I can get Emma's CVs printed and out the way.

Microsoft Security Essentials is pissing about AGAIN, every day it tells me that there is a trojan downloader in each of the backup files from the forum, we have had our server hosts checking that there is no trojan downloader in ANY of our files or our database and they have said there isn't, but MSE claims there is which makes it a false positive I think Simon called it, but the only trouble is when I opt to allow it so that it doesn't scream at me every day, it takes an absolute age to get about 7mm across the bar and then it freezes, the software still claims to be doing it's job but it just hangs there at the same place every time! I guess the only way to get around it would be to put the offending files on the D drive as I don't think MSE checks the D drive, that way I won't have it shouting at me every day. (is still waiting for printer software to install)

I need to spend more time on the forum :S I think because there are no new posts when people come on to the forum, they can't be arsed to try and start a conversation, so they come, read the few things that are available, like dailies perhaps and then bugger off and go on to better more interesting things. I think if I start making the effort again then other people will probably join in too, for instance why should they bother when I don't? I just break my heart every time I go on the forum remembering what we HAD and what we have now, all those information posts, gone forever, we were one of the best for oodles of information, four years of information actually! All gone :( poof... just like that. I hope that people don't blame me for breaking it because I worked my very hardest to manually update those files and I believe I did every single one that required replacing, only to find that a manual update wouldn't work which means we'd have been running the forum software out of date which would have caused us to be liable to be hacked again and therefore the server host would probably have just deleted our forum to save all the hassle as they worked hard last time to fix it for us, when we found out that it was a backdated copy of joomla that was causing the problem.

Anyway, what it boils down to is the fact that the old forum is gone, the new forum is here and we have to make it as good as the old forum, the only trouble is, the likes of bindi, she won't/can't reproduce all her hard work with all the informative posts that she created, and there are other members that have done large information posts and then it all went boom. I have gotta stop mulling over the past and allow the future to flourish, I just don't know how to make it flourish though lol.

Finally managed to print Emma's cv's for her, I also updated and printed my symptoms and medication ready for tomorrow's appointment. Still nervous about that even though I've taken my mind off it by waffling successfully for ages. I think when I waffle on loads and it's ages long people get bored of reading my blog and stop reading it and go and watch paint dry for instance rofl

Anyway, I've waffled on far enough today so I'm going to love you and leave you all.

Huggles

x

Bloggedy blog blog

Blogs, everyone has them these days, I'm surprised Bronny hasn't asked for one, she's got her facebook account in the end, the only reason I agreed was because she only wants to play the games on it anyway, she's not using it to chat anyone up, although she does use the chat option on it, but she only has school friends and my family added, and Simon's brothers are due to be added I believe.

Tehya has started to shed :) I don't know when her last one was or whether it was a successful shed as I forgot to ask if she was shedding OK. :S I don't know whether she is naturally thin or whether she's not been a good eater because Kings are supposed to be nice and chunky and she's really thin like a worm but quite long to boot. No-one has said that her weight is an issue though so I am presuming that all is well.

I am getting butt cramps again rofl ouchies ouch. Simon is watching 5th Gear on his pc (via his card thingy that lets him plug an aerial into his pc and get tv (he has an aerial direct from the sky box that Dad wired in for him upstairs. :) Ouch my bottom really hurts.

Euan went to bed at 7:30pm tonight because Simon was fed up of him being awake just before we go to bed, hopefully it has worked and he's not going to come out of his bedroom until the morning, I can still here him though so he's not going to sleep still, it's just that he's not coming out of his bedroom. *rolls eyes* so he'll still be awake at nearly 10pm, just staying in his room, can't see how that makes an improvement to be honest, apart from the fact I haven't had to shout at him to get in bed tonight.

Bronny is on the pc until 9pm, slight bugger up with regard to the time considering she is supposed to be in bed at 8pm, she wants an extension to half eight on her birthday but I don't know whether to let her have it or not, otherwise soon she'll be going to bed later than me when I'm tired lol bless her, she can always try.

Her birthday is coming up and we are working on giving her her own pc so that she can have her own instead of sharing the main one with Euan, only problem is I'll never see her anymore with her being in her bedroom on her pc instead of in here lol DAMNIT, I think she just read my blog, I'm not sure though, I hope she didn't. Anyway that's what we're doing (she's in bed now) and I've ordered a network cable that is long enough to go from router to pc in her bedroom, a pair of speakers and a mouse, I ordered the dell mouse because at the time we thought we were getting her a refurbished Dell PC so we wanted it all to match but now we have decided that we are going to upgrade the pc that Simon's Dad gave him, but we'll do it bit by bit as and when we can afford it, her pc will then end up a better spec than laptop or pc in the bedroom heheh.

I have a headache again which means I'm going to be lying down pretty soon, it could be to do with sitting at an angle using the lappy on my lap of course and having my neck cricked, it could also be to do with the fact that I am supposed to wear my glasses nearly all the time regardless of what I am doing. I will find them out in a minute lol naughty me *blushes*

Am I a good friend or a bad friend? I don't know how my friends would rate me, it just made me think with all these quizzes on facebook, none of the questions usually relates to me and my friends but I tick all the boxes at are most relevant and end up being told I am a good solid reliablle friend, but I wonder if I am for real? It'd be nice to know what people think of me that are my good friends, but I'm not going to ask them because that'd just be really vain and self centered of me and I try not to mix with those traits.

I wonder who still reads my blogs, I wonder if I have extra eyes since I've made it public and listed, or whether it's too boring for the likes of a normal person, I mean all I do is rattle on about all or nothing, nothing or something, not a lot of it really makes sense and I flit from thought to thought which often finds me flicking back to something I previously said so that I can add to it or edit it, strange heheheh

Some people can be so selfish, I'm not naming names nor am I naming places or people but when people put an effort in to do something, one would feel obliged to join in and take part too? Surely that's the way it goes, whether you want to or not, you should make an effort. My family are strange like that sometimes.

I've felt rather pissy all day today, like with the forum this morning, I posted a post about so many people who just can't be arsed to be there or join in anymore and such, but then I deleted it because I felt guilty and didn't want to lose even more people.

I have lost another friend :( She says she's not blocked me, but if she hasn't how come she is NEVER ever on anymore, surely I'd see her name pop up now and again, even for short bursts, but it doesn't, so she is telling fibs, unless she accidentally blocked me and never noticed.

Anyway, I'm knackered and struggling to breathe so I am going to rest now, not that typing takes much energy, or maybe it does, lately just sitting up drains my batteries of that much needed energy, even though I am propped up by cushions, it still knackers me out :S Oh well, such is life.

Night night friendies..

Huggles

XxX

Meet Tehya :) Tehya is Native American Indian for Precious, she definitely suits her name :) she is beautiful and so so precious to me.



She didn't take her mouse last night/today but they don't USUALLY when they've been messed about, they USUALLY eat the week after when it is offered to them. Simon's python took 3 weeks to settle down enough to eat and he still doesn't come out even now. Simon had to wriggle the rat in front of the python and bloody heck was he quick in strike feeding, he missed it first time though but got a good hold of it the second time :)

Hopefully she will settle down enough to eat her mouse next week :) she should be settled in a week and not bothering too much about us but she could also be a bit feisty with being a baby snakey, so I'm not taking any chances, when we need to do things we put the box in the bath and we do it like that instead of taking any risks in the bedroom JUST INCASE she tries to escape. Obviously with plug in and overflow taped up.

I am really looking forward to her settling down a bit more so that I can touch her and handle her, apparently the more they are handled as youngsters the better they will be at handling when they are older because they will be used to the idea and not get pissy (literally) and musk everything too heheh.

I am so tired today, I think I'm going to end up in bed earlier than normal eeek which will piss the kids off no doubt, well it will piss Euan off, Bronny won't care because she'll be on the PC, I just have to make sure she doesn't get extra time with me being asleep, that really pissed Simon off last time :( I didn't MEAN to let her have longer I was just asleep so couldn't really say "time's up" but apparently I should have set my alarm to wake up and tell her that time was up *rolls eyes*

Anyway, time to prepare luncheon now so bye bye a bit!