Today's Ramble 31.12.08

Hello and welcome back to the nutter's blog.

It's already 2009, it was about 15 minutes ago but I'm always late in writing my day blogs but you just never know it because I'm great at changing the time that I write them :P lol for instance I'll have to change this from today to tomorrow otherwise it'll get lost in the January 2009 archive and be very confusing indeed.

My two very good friends have fallen out again which is gutting because they will bring the new year in without each other :( so unfair it is. I know that they both have their own set of friends to fall back on but I still wish that they hadn't fallen out because it is such a shame they were such good best friends and although they bickered about things often, I envied their friendship and understanding and also revered it.

Today has been pretty much like any other, only I went to the docs today after they called me and requested that I see the doctor regarding a letter from rheumatology dept. I was a bit worried I have to admit because if it's something serious the Doc would call me in for an appt. Turns out it was simply to tell me that he wanted me to have another blood text done to see exactly what is going on with my Vitamin D level as the rheumy said that it was a bit low and suggested I have Vitamin D supplements, he wants to know eactly how low it is to see if it is worth having supplements or not. He (Doc) is blaming the vitamin D low levels on my tablets but I am betting that it is just my change in diet that has caused the problem, I shouldn't really admit that though because I'll get a lecture about not eating then which is the last thing I need.

I have been a pig today, I had 2 crumpets and a packet of crisps at brunch, then for tea this evening at about midnight I had a spam bap and a packet of french fries. Not only have I eaten two meals I have eaten at a time when it is not going to be digested properly before I go to bed so I'll get even fatter. I mean the carlories burned off not digested properly.

Up until today where I have failed miserably because I'm a fat tosser, I have eaten one meal a day, had it in the middle of the day so that it's spread out all over the day so I definitely have chance to burn off the calories that I have taken, there's also the calories in my tablets, IF there is any that I have to worry about. Not knowing how many calories in my tablets is a pain because I have no idea if I have burned them off in a day or not. *rolls eyes*

I will be glad when all the yummy packets of crisps will be gone because they are yummy and too much of a tempation to my weak mind.

There are lots and lots and lots of fireworks going off at the moment, absolute ton of them heheh. I hope the rabbits are OKies, but I am sure that they will be

Well I'm falling asleep again so nite nite :)

Today's Ramble 30.12.08

Nowt new to report for today. Euan's DS broke though, which was really upsetting I nearly cried when it happened because I was so worried about what he would do as he practically lived on it. Simon thankfully managed to fix it for him, I am so relieved, Emma is relieved too as she thought she might have the trouble of having to return it for a replacement or to get it fixed. I was really worried that Simon would bugger it up even more to be honest, 2 springs came flying out when he was fiddling with it but thankfully they don't SEEM to have been anything majorly important as it still works. I should have more faith in Simon and his fiddling fingers as when he has attempted to fix things before he has usually succeeded in his quest.

He is now (00:22) playing on Euan's DS heheh bless him what is he like *rolls eyes* rofl I thought he'd get to play on it eventually bless him, he's going to wear the battery out though which means that Euan will have to charge it in the morning :( Euan is going to be chuffed when he realises that Simon has fixed it, unless he is bored of it already, that could be why he seemed nonchalent when he realised it wasn't working anymore.

Simon is now adamant as well as myself that there is something not right with Euan's mental state. Dad says there's nothing wrong with him at all, but he hasn't witnessed Euan when he's being a complete muppet or when he's having one of his raging tempers though.

My feet stink :( I can smell them from here, either it's that or it's my slippers that stink :S Something smells, it could be the hamsters but then again they are no longer in here so it's not them it has to be my feet :O *blushes* sometimes they do get mega minging though it's really embarrassing and there's bugger all I can do about it. *blushes and hides*

My headphones order got cancelled because they were not in stock :( It's just not fair! I really REALLY wanted a pair of decent headphones, but now I have to wait for the money to be refunded to my card before I purchase any more :( *pout* Simon says we should look on overclockers but considering his were £30 I don't think I shall bother looking.

I'm pissed because the little headphones I have really hurt my ears, the sound from them is quite good, apart from there's no bass obviously but they really hurt when I wear them, I've put them in right as well because I have repositioned them so many times to find the right place and no matter which way I stick them in they really hurt, the best ones are like Joe has for his PSP, over the ear headphones that don't actually go in the ear, they have hooks to sit on the ears but they're not the inner ones they're like discs that are covered and sit on the ears nicely.

I've just reserved a set of headphones at Argos which are actually cheaper than the original ones that I was looking at which is good good good! :D Something has to go wrong as everything seems to be going right at the moment, I have probably just jinxed myself there *rolls eyes*

Today has been a usually boring day, only had to put up with one of Euan's tantrums because I wouldn't let him go outside to play whilst Simon was washing the car (yes, Simon washed the car in this freezing weather and yes it froze over AS he was washing it *rolls eyes*) obviously I was the big bad ogre he hated me, Simon, Bronwyn, Oscar and all the other animals and he was going to pack his bags and leave this place *rolls eyes again* I just let him reel off all his crap these days without letting it get me upset because he says the same thing every time and although he is trying to hurt me, it doesn't anymore because I don't let it. When he first started with the crap I was very upset by it and he knew that he upset me, but now I just let it roll over me and I ignore it.

Bronwyn was as emotional as ever today but at least her tummy was better! It took some strict starving from me which upset her greatly but it did the trick, I only let her eat dried toast for 12 hours and no milk, no sweeties no crisps, just dried toast and it's worked, she did a solid one this afternoon rofl sorry for the graphical explanation there readers but you'll understand me now rofl I found out that the reason why Bronny has been all tearful is because she's been staying up later than I've let them stay up and been playing on her DS under her quilt! She doesn't know what time she plays til as she's never checked, I made her promise not to do it tonight because she needed a decent night sleep. I told her I would check on her but I forgot to check on her therefore for all I know she could have played on it til late again *rolls eyes* she won't learn until she feels really ill and is falling asleep in the day when she's supposed to be doing stuff.

Simon is complaining at the noise I'm making and the bright light of the screen so I had better log out real soon. I just need to add a few extra bits to my bloggy.

We're struggling this month to get the rent together, we overspent at Christmas and now we're struggling to get back on track, hopefully we'll manage it just fine though and we'll be able to pay all the rent, it certainly won't be on time perhaps a week late but at least we'll be able to pay it, HOPEFULLY. I think we'll only be a week late and sometimes it's been the next week before he collects the rent from when we have said that it is ready so hopefully he won't mind the delay in payment. I need to pluck up the courage to talk to him about paying off the money that we owe him too, considering there is no big payout to give to him like I thought there would be (from the case against work) it was a piddly amount that just covered a couple of bills. *rolls eyes*

Was just thinking, I promised Euan he could go on the PC because his DS wasn't working, I bet in the morning regardless of his DS being fixed he's going to insist he wants to play on the PC. He really does seem bored with his DS, hopefully not having it for the rest of today and not all morning until we get up might make him want it again and not be so bored with it and looking for something else to do all day.

Well, I'm falling asleep again, my look at the time, no wonder I'm falling asleep! I guess I'll see you all "on the morrow"! :D

Bye bye for now.

xx

Happy Anniversary Simon :D

It's our five year anniversary tonight (we met at about 11pm on 30th December 2003 heheh) so we'll be celebrating by.. sleeping most probably lol bless.

I can't believe that it is five years already, heheh

So Happy Anniversary Simon my most precious one.

Not sure seriously if we will do anything, I haven't bought him an anniversary present anyway. heheh

Today's Ramble 29.12.08

Went out to Toys R Us to get Bronny's BopIt Download exchanged for one that actually worked today only to find that there were no more in stock, so we had to accept a refund on it. We then went round so that the children could choose presents to have with their money from Aunty Clare and Gramps. Euan was a little buggerbag he took forever to choose something, Bronny was easy she found a Polly Pocket thing she liked and a huge cuddly polar bear, so she was happy with what she got.

We then went to see Gramps as we had not managed to get to see him on Boxing Day, I can't believe how frail he looks now, he's a shadow of his former self. Still seems to have most of his marbles now, is almost deaf as a post but he's still the Gramps that I know and love so much :) Mum said it wouldn't be long before he needed to be in a home. Gramps says he's never going in one heheh. I do hope that Mum doesn't shove him in a home, it won't do him any good at all, he is very independant is my Gramps, and rather stubborn too lol I think if they put him in a home he would give up on life completely and be nothing. :( I can't understand why Mum wants him in a home, why would she want his house!? she's NOT going to shove him in a home, I won't let her, I just wish that I was fit and well so that I could insist on looking after him myself. Bless his cotton socks he won't be going in a home. He'd have had to have lost his marbles for them to force him into a home anyway heheh. He's a fighter is my Gramps and he's being very well looked after so he shouldn't need to go into a home just yet. I must ensure that I visit him more often though, he needs his family around him now, we will have to arrange to go see him once a week when the children are at school so that we don't have to worry about them asking for lots of things. Not that Bronny does, it was Euan that wanted this that and the other off Gramps, poor old sod, he hasn't got this that and the other to give out, not to the quantity that Euan wanted anyway.

Oooh I've just gone monged, my eyes are now unable to focus together and I am reading a very blurred and distorted lots of text whilst I am typing, so if there is any typos from herein that is my excuse. and I'm sticking to it rofl

I have no idea what Simon is watching downstairs but it is making him laugh his socks off, perhaps I should put the tv on upstairs to see what it is that is making him laugh constantly. I can't think what it would be to be honest :S Oh well.

Oscar cat is fast asleep next to me at the moment :) He's been a bit poorly this morning and done a furball on Simon's side of the sofa lol Simon cleaned it up before anyone came downstairs, poor oscar, they always look like poohs but we've learned that it comes from the other end as we've seen him doing one. It must be horrible to have to throw that up, I know I'd probably pass out from a panic attack if I had to throw something as big and almost solid as one of those up. lmao

Sorry for that gruesome bit there.

Am listening to The Corrs at the moment, I haven't listened to them for absolutely ages. To be honest I've not listened to any music in ages, I have music on my harddrive I didn't even know I had lol

Now evanescence (sp) heheh I love my immortal it's a beautiful song it really is, her voice is absolutely fantastic it really is.

Poor Simon has already been sick tonight and now he doesn't know if he wants to be sick again so he is sitting at the end of the bed waiting to see if he does need to puke, bless him :( He's given up just sitting there and is going on his PC now bless him. I know how it feels to feel so sick but not want to be physically sick to get rid of the feeling of being sick.

Well I think that I waffled enough now so I'm going to sign off here.

Ni ni.

x

Today's Ramble 28.12.08

Listening to Bohemian Rhapsody right now, methinks it is a very appropriate song considering life's recent events. Then it'll be We Will Rock You and Somebody to Love.. My selection of Queen songs, annoying considering I had both of their Greatest Hits albums on Tape, need a converter but thinking about it I lost most of my cassettes when my car sprung a leak and soaked everything in the boot.

I am feeling a little bit peckish at the moment, I think I might go get something to eat.

BBS.

mmm a spam sarny and a packet of salt and vinegar squares mmmmmmmm *lips licks* lol oops nearly fell off the bed then rofl oopsie

I haven't had a despatch notification for my headphones yet :( I guess I won't hear from them til Monday which is really annoying because they could have sent them out on Saturday :( maybe it was an automated email to confirm my order and they're not actually working on a saturday, maybe they're not going to send me a despatch notification I don't know will have to see heheh

Is it despatch, or dispatch? Most of the post I've had recently when it's a notification says dispatch, but I'm sure I learned it as despatch? I'm confused - if anyone could enlighten me I'd be very grateful. :D

why can't this stupid thing have a few basic smileys? Other blog software I've looked at has them. Why not this one? Boring Blogger heheh

Simon has finally come upstairs having finished the robot, he said that to get it to look like it does in the picture he would have to bend pieces of metal which can't be right?

He started that about 9pm I think lol bless him at least he bothered to finish it for Euan which was a lovely thing to do, I bet he enjoyed making it really bless lol

I don't really know what else to type really, I'm blogged out today, nothing interesting has happened today

I think I'll leave it at that.

x

Just a very very quick one!

She's alive! Oh fuck I am so relieved and happy that I am talking to her right now.

Honestly I thought she had done it when I had no reply to my text.

At least I know she is "OK" obviously not dancing on the ceiling OK but just "fine"

That's all I wanted to say.

What a relief.

x

Ohhhh f...

Just read a very good friend's blog, it's very depressing and seems to be talking of suicidal thoughts but in a cryptic way, it brought lots of tears to my eyes and now I am so worried, honestly I am.

I don't know what to do, because if she's done something daft, well, I want to shout out and tell SOMEONE about it, someone that can fix it and make it better?

Oh god oh fuck what do I do?

IF she hasn't done what I think she's done and I go and. No I can't oh god I'm so worried now.

It's times like these that you realise how much someone means to you, it's a bugger that I didn't make it clear before now that I WANT to be that close person that she's talking about, I WANT to be that person that she can talk about anything and everything with without judging her, I WANT to be the person that tells her to stop being daft and stops her from DOING that something daft. I just WANT to be there for her, all the time... but

I can't if she's already "gone"

I don't know what to read into what she's said I mean it might even be that she's cutting away from internet, from me, or something I don't know I just wish I bloody well understood that brain of hers so that I could pre-empt her moves and make everything all better and stuff.

Poor girl just needs a REAL friend, one that will treat her with as much respect as they treat their loved one,, or their daughter, or best friend or something. I want to much to be that person but she just isn't interested in me becoming that close with her :(

Oh fuckeroo what am I going to do?!

*texts her again*

*sighs* I really hope that she is alive and hasn't done anything daft

Today's Ramble 27.12.08

14:31

Well, I think tis all over now we've not been invited anywhere for New Year's Day so looks like Christmas is discontinued in our house. The lounge is a mess though there's bags and bags of presents where we just don't know where the heck to put them lol

The house is so damn cold today, you'd think that we'd left the doors open all night, we're simply FREEZING as I sit typing this I feel pain in my fingers as they are cold and non-responsive.

22:53

Well I blogged loads earlier don't you think?

Today has been a good day overall, I've played a game with Euan and one with Bronny and then another with Bronny and the kids have been wrapped up in their DS's again so they've not pestered me to keep them company or anything, typical the one day I'm in the mood to play with them is the day that they don't want to play with me rofl *rolls eyes*

Oscar is trying to find a way to get on my desk to see the hammies lol who I have to say are looking rather old and frail at the moment, I've been giving them the same food that I always give them and they've had treats now and again, the only thing I've not done is given them a regular supply of veg because they just don't eat it, perhaps that's where the problem lies :(

Oh, the rats :( *sobs* I had to split them up today :( I noticed that the babies had a lot of injuries around their head/neck area and it was teeth marks not scratches so I've put Bart and Corny (two blacks) together and put Archie in with the babies. Hopefully Archie is NOT the one that has been attacking everyone. I THINK IT's one of the black ones, but I will keep an eye on them now they have been separated to ensure that the black ones are not beating on each other too much. Though I think their problem is that they keep vieing with the others to see which one is going to be the boss, and it gets messy because the babies are being obviously bullied and Archie has war wounds on him too, I wouldn't be too surprised if they cope better now whilst they don't have each other to annoy each other. I hope they do anyway.

I might try and stay awake a bit so that I can hear if they are still fighting in their split groups, if they are I have no idea how to separate them as I only have two cages in effect so I can only split them 3 and 2, and I don't really want to split the babies up.. though from what I have heard apart from a short scuffle not long after I put the black boys in the bottom cage they have sorted themselves out and are fine. HERE'S HOPING

I'm wondering now how much or how little of my blog makes sense. Simon said that he couldn't understand me because I drift from one subject to another then back to the other subject again so I'm wondering how many of you are laughing at me too because I can't write for toffee rofl I don't mind being laughed at, I'm used to it :)

Am listening to music on my pc via my headphones atm, but I'm not being ignorant, as Simon is in the room and might want to talk to me about something I only have a headphone in one of my ears not in both. Won't be able to do that with my new ones I don't think, I ordered them today from Amazon - I had order confirmation earlier today but no despatch confirmation :( I guess it means I have to wait for them even longer. They COULD have despatched them today and I'd hopefully receive them by Monday, forgot that tomorrow was SUnday for a minute was going to say tomorrow. Just checked my email and had no confirmation of despatch :( Never mind I guess.

My head really itches, I think that I'm having a bit of a reaction to the nit lotion that Simon put on my hair on Christmas Eve so we could get rid of the bloody things, I know it's days later but it's the only thing that can make me itch like hell other than the loose skin on my scalp because there is no little shites left that I have found and to itch in as man places asI am, there would be enough of the little sods to notice them and find one, even if they are babies maybe. Hopefully it will have worked fto kill the babies though because I couldn't stand an infestation of the buggers again.

my wrists ache again today, especially my left one, I'm wondering ifI have it the wrong way on the keybaord which is causing the pain, I do seem to be straining to get to the letters that I need. I think it's because I need to be thinner for my arms to sit where they are supposed to sit on the keyboard heheh, oh well.

Right, sleep time now methinks.

Gnight.

x

waiting...

hello fellow bloggies at this present moment in time I am sitting waiting for itunes to convert the formats of the music I have on my harddrive so that it can be played in itunes, then once I have done that I have to sort out my new toy!

Out of all the Christmas presents I have had I have to say that the Ipod Dad casually gave me today has to be my favourite! Not quite sure when I am going to use it, but at least I shall have me an Ipod! At least now there is something to play with Euan's bumble bee robot to, we just need to get him a cheap mp3 player now so that he can listen to some music via his transformer robot heheh mp3 players are quite cheap actually, and I only have to buy him the McFly album and he'll be in his element, especially if he is told that it is mcfly that is, he LOVES McFly heheh. Bless him

I can't believe that Dave has paid to have his DS repaired so that OLIVIA can have it, she's only bloody 6!! For god sake that child is so spoilt, and it's obvious that she is too, little cow bag she was today, marching around all "I'm the best I am" and her parents oh so proud of her. *rolls eyes* well, one day someone will tell her like it is and she'll be all upset and realise that the whole world DOESN'T revolve around her no matter how much her Daddy thinks it does too.

Oh well, *puts claws away* at least I know that my children are not all arrogant like she is. I can't believe what a foul mood Dave was in just because Mum had dragged him out to get a photo of her Grandchildren *rolls eyes* Shannon and Sophie ended up in the picture and they're not even Mum's Grandchildren! Though, I guess I could have the same attitude when I wish that Simon's parents would see my children as their adopted Grandchildren. I can see in a way why they refuse to. They also worry about stealing the place of their real Grandparents, but considering they never see them I can't see what the problem is.

Geesh I'm a synical bitch tonight lol Christmas is over now then, all that stress and excitement and it's all finished. All done. Why does Christmas only have to be one day and then another on boxing day, it's just not fair, Christmas should last a week and you should all have enough relatives who buy presents, even simple ones that last all week in receiving them lol

We're off to Toys R Us to take a toy back, the Bopit Download isn't working and it's really annoying because lights flash and things happen but there is no sound which there is supposed to be as soon as someone touches it. There are no general instructions in the box either or a CD for the bopit download software as the online download install is broken as soon as you click to try and do something it tells you to reinstall it that's even after it has been fixed.

I've synched the Ipod with my pc now, shame I had to lose most of the music that was already on the Ipod but I guess it's re-downloadable, though it looks as though most of the music came from cd's of Mum's as only a handful of tracks were purchased, they have gone now but never mind I'm sure I can afford to buy some music at 79p per track. I won't just go haywire though because I don't listen to music THAT much, I'll just see how I get on with the music that I have got I think.

Simon has just found (23:52) that two of his spider habitats have gone mouldy! eeek so he's changing them now and hoping that with the extent of mould that the spiders have survived. He's never had that problem before, I can't understand why he would have that problem now with just those two spideys houses. He's changed the housing for one of them but is wondering how the hell to change the housing of the other one because apparently it's a spider that will just want to bite him eek lol

Right, that's me done for a while, it wasn't supposed to be my daily ramble just something whilst I was waiting for itunes to find all my media and then whilst waiting for my ipod to sync with itunes.

x

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas
to all my Blog Readers :)

I'm off to Si's parents at 11am but it's present unwrapping time first! lol

Simon is just jumping in the shower then we'll go downstairs and watch them open their pressies heheh woot! I'm so excited.

I had some weird dreams last night/this morning heheh one of them was that I had bought them both this furry creature thing (not live) that had a tamagotchi plugged into his tummy and you could plug HIM in via a USB cable from his rear end lol really strange, I don't know if they do them or not and I've seen one in a shop to get the idea or whether it's my extra vivid imagination again heheh.

Children are up and playing on their DS's waiting for Si to have a shower and a poop *rolls eyes* we're supposed to be going downstairs at 9am, but I doubt he can shit shave and shower within 35 minutes rofllmao please excuse my graphic explanation rofl well at least I didn't go into more details :P

Had a nice bath and shower last night so that I'm nice and clean for today and tomorrow :) well, it wasn't nice actually because I don't enjoy bathing OR showering as much since I've been on this lead, my nose runs something terrible in the heat of the bath condensation or something, but my tube decides to blow it into my airways for me to choke on as I'm sitting up because it literally blows up through my nose and down my throat. Then once I get in the shower no matter how careful I am when washing my hair, the water runs down the tube, probably from behind my ears like a waterfall and half of that gets blown up my nose and the other half thankfully trickles annoyingly down my face from my lips. I've resorted to having a bath with the tube on and having a towel handy, but when it comes to washing my hair I take the tube off and wash my hair so quick you'd think it's not been washed. I'm gagging for breath by the time I've finished so even though my face is annoying wet I have to manhandle myself into the tube up over my ears, putting up with it pulling my ears because I have to pull it tight-ish to keep it on. (I use tape on my face when my face and the tube is dry. My tube was well manky where I stuck it to my face so I just binned it and got a new one out.

That's why I don't like having baths or showers with my tube on. :(

Right I'm off now to get ready to go downstairs and watch the children open their Christmas presents.

Catchya laters!

xx

Merry Christmas again peeps!

Today's Ramble 24.12.08

arrrghhhhh arrrrgghghghghhhhh it's only one sleep arrrrgghhhhhh weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee wooot woot!

*dances* *jigs* *wriggles* woot!

rofl

ONE SLEEP THE SLEEP TONIGHT WOOT WOOT WOOT

And why am I so excited?

as I can't wait to see the children open their Christmas presents "from Santa" heheh

I know all other presents are not really going to matter now that they have their precious DS's but hopefully they will still like what we have got for them :D

I've left their DS's charging out on the landing so that they are ready for them to play on tomorrow :D They both have a large selection of games to play on their R4 cards, I'm definitely going to have to get me one of those cards and a MicroSD card to plug into it, what a clever clever idea, I've never seen so many DS games in one place. The more GB they can squeeze on their SD cards the more games they can put on them.

I'm thinking of buying them either a 4 or 8gb memory SD card, that should be more than sufficient for the game and the save games to fit all two hundred games on. Doesn't look like there are 200 games on the two dvd's combined but that's how many games it said there was so they must all be there. I'm trying to think of what size SD card I would need to ensure that they have the entire stock of games on one card so they never have to take it out of the slot. :D The less things they take out the less things there are for them to lose :D

All I know is that I need me an R4 card and SD card so that I can play some of the games too, it would save an absolute fortune especially considering every game that I was going to ever buy is on that list of 200 games. If I could get them all for me to play with too I'd be laughing :) I think there are many games that I wouldn't play such as the pokemongames and the like but the rest I could easily get addicted too, nintendogs Labrador for instance is still a fortune to buy in the shops and I could have it for nothing woot! heheh

Well, it's nearly Christmas, not that Santa Claus is coming for me, but I enjoy the excitement that the children bring into the house, as long as they are not stupid excited which they won't be as they will have their DS's to play with.

I hope Michael and Michelle are only making a swift entrance and not staying all day today, otherwise I may as well stay here because I cannot stand the way they have to take over the whole day, they always make it sound as if it is about them, Simon's Dad doesn't always get dragged in but Christina spends all her time talking to them and I get deafed out in the lounge if Simon is yet again fixing the pc *rolls eyes*

Well, I've treated Bronny and Euan and Simon treated me with the headlice treatment today so hopefully none of us have live ones anymore although I saw a live one on Euan's head, I think it was live anyway, will soon find out if we are still infected with the damn parasites.

watches as every readers' skin crawls lol sorry peeps but I have to be honest as the day.

Ooooh 50 minutes until tomorrow then it is officially Christmas Day heheh, to think that some people are already up and celebrating Christmas whereas some will only be getting up as we go to bed, time zones are so strange, I honestly used to believe that you could travel to a future time zone, see the horse racing results and then come back and put your bet on the horses. Not literally time travel but to a country who is like 8 hours ahead *rolls eyes* little was I to know eh? So innocent and bloody thick back then! rofl

I miss my Nan. I really do, it's not going to stop me going to see Gramps on Boxing Day before we go round to my parents house though, we simply must go and visit him, I'll be the only Grandchild he's not seen all Christmas otherwise. Bless his old socks he's really getting rather senile in his old age, remembering things that were not there to be remembered, or remembering little things that meant nothing to anyone else but he claims that they've bothered him all this time. Oh well, I still loves him to bits the silly old sausage. It is him after all Nan. rofl

Reminds me of the time we were there on a Saturday, you see back when we were growing up we'd go and stay at Nan's for the day on a Saturday, Dad would join us there for dinner and then we'd all go home. Anyway, Nan had a head on her, one of her usual bad heads that she had regular and Mum said something about it and Nan turned round and said it's him and was about to start on a world of why Gramps was to blame when Gramps came in from the kitchen saying "what's me?" lol he had been listening. You know when you think men are not listening? When you don't want them to listen they do, but when you want them to they don't? Well this was one of those moments. You'd have to have been there to find the funny side of it but boy we found it funny, we were in stitches.

Snuggling down on this wonderful comfortable bed reminds me of Nan too, because their front bedroom bed was this comfortable, it was a bed worth dying in, only I didn't, I stayed there every weekend instead :) No-one else was allowed, only me, I think at one point we were supposed to alternate between my Sister and myself but she grew out of wanting to go but I'd never grow out of it, even when I left home I still wanted to go and stay at my Nan's house. Everything was safe in that bed, nothing was ever going to hurt me, I'd had my night night kiss and cuddle of Nan and Gramps and that was it then, I was set for the night, nothing could hurt me.

This bed makes me have warm safe thoughts that I used to have in my Nan's front room bed. Not sure where it has gone now as it is no longer there, I think it went when Nan died to be honest, no need for it because no-one would ever stay again :(

I love my Nan, I wish I could spend just one more Saturday with her. Just her and me and Gramps, no-one else in the world to piss us off. Just us three :) :D

Merry Christmas and Ni Ni world.

Ni Ni Nan. I love you forever.

x

Today's Ramble 23.12.08

2 sleeps! You better watch out... you better not cry you better not shout, I'm telling you why...

Coz Santa Claus is comin to town!

He sees you when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you have been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes....


revelation, I have just realised that I'm 32 years old and have NEVER cooked a Christmas Dinner! I've always been at my Mum's or the Mum of my partner, so I've never had to cook it at all. Not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Wouldn't be able to do it now mind. Too much energy and standing up time required for me to succeed. I'd try if I had to though, I'm no lazy cow.

I love having dinner cooked for me for once though that isn't fast food, it makes a change for me to not be slaving over the dinner and getting all worked up to ensure that it is absolutely perfect.

I have just learned something I never knew, that adult bearded dragons eat mainly veg! I thought the bigger/older they got they just ate more bugs and bigger bugs, I honestly didn't know that they ate veg at all heheh.


I need to read up on crabbies soon because in the new year that is what we are putting in the tank on my desk, it will be a shared venture between myself and Simon so I won't have all the care and maintenance on my own we will share on those jobs.


Oh yeah, bad news :( :( :( I have to split the ratties in the morning, I THINK that it's the two blacks causing all the fuss, so I'm going to put them in the bottom bit and archie with the bairns in the top half, hopefully this will eradicate the problem and I won't find out it's Archie that's beating on the babies, will soon find out though. I just hope that once the boys are split from the rest of the group they will not spend their time beating up each other and causing each other to bleed lots and be in great pain.

gotta go Simon wants me to log out for the night, will add more in the morn.

x

What a morning 23.12.08

Children were found to be playing together in Euan's bedroom again this morning, they are not allowed to play together until it's time to get up because of the noise that they make together lol They have broken the rules the past two mornings, it's Bronny coming out and going into Euan's room because she is bored and she knows she's not allowed to do that, naughty naughty Bronny!

Anyway that is what awoke Simon and caused him to get up, I was woken up much later by Euan getting rather loud in his games. It is as if he gets louder and louder to try and wake me up the later it is lol poor sod hasn't yet realised that I could sleep through a bomb lol

Didn't get up til gone lunchtime so of course my first port of call when I got up was to make the children some food. They were starving hungry by the time I fed them, but at least I fed them, they had a ham bap, crisps and some biscuits, two chocolate and 2 custard creams. That will be enough to sate them until tea time, heheh.

We're watching 20,000 leagues under the sea at the moment, what a load of crap rofl unfortunately although it is nearly Christmas, there is bugger all else on. I came down to watch the TV thinking that because it's nigh on Christmas that there will be something decent on *rolls eyes* perhaps we should try and look again because it's so crap I'm watching it rofl

Kids have been fighting this morning too, well this afternoon when we came downstairs they started fighting lots so I had to shout really loud at them to get their attention so that they would stop fighting. Simon has sent them to their bedrooms for being naughty and I have to say it's the quietest they have been since they have been off school.

I don't know why they have to constantly fight, it's terrible one of these days they are going to kill each other with the way they fight, it's terrible, honestly they kick and punch at each other so badly and they don't care where their assault lands on each other the amount of times they've been on the sofa just kicking and punching each other in the head and everywhere, all it needs is for one of them to catch the other in the neck at the wrong angle and that's it .. gone :(

Well, that's enough blogging of waffle crap for me for now.

Ni ni.

x

Today's Ramble 22.12.08

Oh My God!

3 THREE sleeps til Christmas! THREE I said, did you hear me!? EEEEK

lol

Well, it's nearly time for Santa to be magicking himself into our house, you see we don't have a traditional chimney, we don't have a chimney at all, so he can't make his way down the chimney can he? rofl

I don't have anything to leave out for him either only a few biscuits and a glass of milk maybe and a carrot and bowl of water for the reindeer maybe, even though they stay on the roof they still need something don't they? heheh Magic is only half in our house this year as Bronny has given up believing this year, she was almost there last year but I managed to squeeze another year out of her heheh. Euan might be easier to keep going for longer as he is a burger short of a happy meal bless his little heart.

That's the annoying thing with Euan, he seems so intelligent with his literacy maths and science at school and his reading seems to be top notch he's really picking up on his reading, so why on earth, when it comes to common sense and general brains, does he act as thick as a plank? :S Laura mentioned that he might have a degree of autistic ness within him and I'm wondering if she is indeed right. He seems forever younger than his age in his mentality and actions, he has no common sense whatsoever and cannot problem solve in the slightest, it only takes mere words to bamboozle and confuse him (when Simon is messing about and teasing him I mean). I just do not think that he is completely all there.

Simon has complained that the hammies smell again which is really annoying as I only cleaned them out the other day, they seem to go through stages of being stinky little buggers all the time even if they have been just cleaned out, would be so much easier if we could bathe hamsters, I'd get them smelling all fresh and sweet in no time heheh. Which reminds me the rats still need their bath :S I'm not looking forward to bathing them because they are little jumpy buggers and jump out of the bath all over the place.

I need to do the water just deep enough so that they cannot purchase a grip on the bottom of the bath and curl up into their spring that they do without being under water level slightly so they can't jump out of the bath.

Though I can get the children to come into the bath and help me by gently pushing them back in when they keep falling back out heheh. I think it will make a big difference to de-stink them, that way with new bedding put down yesterday it will be a little while longer before they are due to be cleaned out again.

I find they are like hamsters and the more I clean out the more that they start peeing all over the place to get their scent around which deviates from the point of cleaning them out more regularly and it doesn't do them any good to be living in a peesoaked environment it must damage their respiratory systems to have to tolerate ammonia and of course it doesn't do us any good either.

My hair needs washing again already damned greasyness that it is, I find that whenever I use the cheap value shampoo my hair comes up squeaky clean from the shower but it is a shorter time between washes that it needs doing again because of grease and dirt and whatever else collects in the hair.

I have visitors again too that I have to eradicate soon but I need the money to get the stuff to do it, I will have to do me and the children because I'm sure I've seen Bronny and Euan scritching too :( I might do them the old fashioned way with conditioner because I would hate to have to put even more chemicals on their little heads, though I can't afford the proper lotion at the moment anyway and the chemist doesn't always have the one I want to use in. None of the full marks treatments work, so it looks like Prioderm again as Derma whatsit doesn't work, there's only the one that does work on our heads, I just hope that it still works and that I can get some and eradicate the visitors by Christmas Day before we are due at other people's houses. Boxing Day will be the worst because all the children are going to be there in that tiny little house.

I still cannot believe that Mum has invited Dave to come round on Boxing Day for a photograph when Boxing Day is MY day with them, ffs, I bet they all stay forever and it'll be like it's not worth Simon and I being there, yes the kids won't care either way apart from the fact that Bronny doesn't like the piss kids, I'm pretty sure that they don't think much of my two either from everything Caroline would have said to them about our family.

I'm looking forward to seeing Clare but at the same time I'm dreading how squashed everyone is going to be in the house, there's also the fact that I'm betting Dad will have to work over Boxing Day, he never used to have it off at Frenches, he'd only ever get Christmas Day off before and then come Boxing Day the shop would be open up again for sales. Dad doesn't work in the shop but it doesn't make a difference he has to be on hand for technical sales and questions, answers that Belinda cannot give customers, and most probably to keep up to date with repairs etc.

I often wonder how many of the TV's and Videos and stereos within the room that Dad works in have been there for an age and what they are all there for, I know that things break and need repairing and stuff but isn't it now cheaper to just go out and buy something new rather than paying to get it repaired.

Must ask Dad what he's doing/done with our DVD player whether he can fix it with spare parts within the workshop or whether he's had to go out and buy a part for it, in which case it may very well be cheaper to just go out and buy a new DVD player from Tesco, especially as you can get one for less than a tenner these days.

Eeeek I've waffled til me fingers are dry and breaking off rofl

Ni ni

xx

Today's Ramble 21.12.08

Am sitting here falling asleep even though I have had sleep since I went to bed before, Simon got me up to make the bed and get in bed, he was going on his computer for a couple of minutes and then going to bed but his motherboard is buggered so he's faffing with that right now. Heonly managed to get it to load about once out of 20 times :S it's making one or two more beeping noises than it should too, he's in the middle of trying to do manual software repairs I THINK. Other than that I don't know what he is up to.

If it means a new mobo we're talking £67 (rounded up) for one that would be remotely worth getting as there's no point getting a lower spec mobo for a start he'd not be able to use vista which is his OS, and he'd not be able to pay all his games which he has spent some money on over the last few months. (not accusing him of spending lots of money on games just saying) the only way to do it is to buy an upgrade mobo, simply because he'll be looking at upgrading in the future and would need a new mobo, so might as well get one now rather than buying same movo now (£50 odd) and then upgrading in a few months (£more money) He's already spent in the region of £100 on his new case, which in all honesty to someone who knows nothing about it? I think it was a waste of money.

Oh well, it's his money after all (well, half of it) that's what he seems to keep forgetting! That my half is in there somewhere!

Had a reasonable day today, am knackered and monged already though because I didn't have my sleep this afternoon I chose to go on lappy instead. The yearn to go on lappy is getting warmer again, I was worried for a while that I didn't care much about it, but it was just when I was feeling poorly, am addicted again now :D

Well, nearly Christmas :) I forgot to ask Simon if he thought I'd need to put some money in the car for Christmas or whether it would be OK because we have to go to his parents Christmas Day and mine Boxing Day, neither journeys are all that close, although we're closer to my parents than we've ever been since moving out of Tamworth.

Simon has a blue screen lol, he's checking the memory on his PC as someone suggested to him that it could be that, but Simon says it's not looking like it is the memory. That would only leave the mobo because Si said it can't be the harddrive.

Fwog is splashing and banging about quiet a bit tonight :S not sure whether she can't get comfortable or whether she's actually enjoying the ability to splash about, Simon reckons it#s the latter, but I think she's struggling to stay above the water line that Si has created :S I think she's making too many flitting moves for it to be moving around and enjoying herself. BUT She's Simon's Fwog and he knows best after all..

Well I've waffled on about practically nothing tonight so I am going to behave and shut up and bog off now.

LUB to all

Carol

xx

Ramble 21.12.08

waiting... for Simon to decide if he wants feeding or not, want to order from Joe's Pizza (the fast food options not the pizza options) but can't order anything until Simon has decided whether or not he wants to eat or not, there's not much point in me ordering if he isn't going to eat anything.

I might just order anyway in a minute and if he doesn't want feeding now he can have his reheated later on, it won't taste too bad reheated anywhoo.

Have had a weird day today, haven't slept yet because have been on lappy whilst the children are on DS and PC, I didn't get up until lunchtime so shouldn't really have slept anyway so good job I didn't heheh.

I cleaned out the ratties today, they stink and were well overdue *blush* I need time and no back ache to do them though because standing up that long makes my legs very painful and my back REALLY bad, so if it's painful already it's stupid to attempt it. Didn't do too bad in cleaning them out though and when I had finished I came upstairs with the children round about 1.30pm and allowed them on the PC and DS to change every hour upon the hour so Bron ended up with 1.5 hours to start with so I could make them change at the o clock rather then involving minutes heheh

They did their usual interfering with each other whilst on the PC, the DS hardly got played with. Can't say I blame them I haven't got that many games that would interest them, Euan likes Ben10 Super mario, rayman and Spiro but he gets fed up of them so so quickly :S heheh I can see him getting through his list of 200 games to play on that one card within a week, as in playing nearly everything at least once and being bored.

Hopefully between the DS and the presents he receives for Christmas they will keep him busy bee. :)

That's me done for now, going to order now and hope that Simon soon finds his appetite.

x

Rambleamble 19.12.08

Oops, I'm slacking on this blog thing. To be honest I have felt so bleugh lately that I have neglected everything that I should be doing, I have even neglected the forum and for me not to have blogged must mean I am having a hard time of it right now. lol

We managed to get the Christmas Shopping done yesterday, we went to ToysRUs in Tamworth and got everything for both and stocked up on some batteries too heheh we just need some C batteries for one of Bronny's things and then we is all sorted. All wrapped up and hidden safely away :) woot now all we need is to get through the next 5 days of the children beating each other up, I say 5 because they'll have their DS/s off Aunty Emma on Christmas Eve so that will be a day where they are not fighting because they are bored.

Have just put Christmas music on to drown out Simon's horrible war game lol hopefully it's not going to piss him off too much, but with his game being so loud he won't even hear it over there. Always shooting and killing heh at least it's only a game.

I had bad dreams again last night, my own fault, was thinking about his parents before I went to sleep and that caused me to dream about him and his family which I hate doing not only do I have a bad night sleep but I always feel so guilty for even thinking about that sort of thing, never mind spending the night dreaming about it. I keep wondering how much easier life MIGHT be for Simon and I with the children if they were involved, the parents I mean, not HIM. But it might go the other way and it might be as stressful as ever.

*shuts up*

I mustn't really think like that, we have enough stress in our lives without reintroducing more. *rolls eyes*

*I wish it could be Christmas every day...* I don't because it wouldn't be a special day then and people wouldn't bother buying gifts for each other on a daily basis, no one would be able to afford it for a start.

We have bought a tin of Quality Street for each of our parents and a box of celebrations for James and for Adam (one each) I would have got them a tin to share but James would have pigged them all and left Adam with nowt rofl

I have a vague memory that we've bought Quality Street for Mum and Dad before and they have said that they prefer Roses, perhaps we should try and get a tin of Roses instead hopefully they are not too much money, haven't seen any in Tesco when we went though so maybe they don't do them anymore. Will have to ask Simon to have a look when he next goes in to Tesco as we owe someone a tin as Simon opened one of the tins last night *rolls eyes* I wasn't in the mood for sweeties or anything, I'm not really in the mood for "anything" to be honest, I really should get off my arse and do something but I am so tired.

I can't believe how much that damn flu and tummy bug took it out of me, I'm still recovering, tummy still in pain from the throwing up constant coughing and then pooping water *rolls eyes* hopefully I'll be able to find the space to fit some food in my body tomorrow without throwing it back up or anything, that would be so embarrassing.

Have turned the music down a bit now because Simon has stopped his game and he keeps moaning about the children singing to the songs and doing his head in *rolls eyes* they are doing my head in too actually just singing one or two words in the whole song and singing those out of line or out of tune lol

It's my best mate's birthday today, I didn't get her anything I got her something for Christmas though heheh :) bless her, she deserves so much more than what I bought, but that is all she wanted I couldn't persuade her to tell me what else she wanted heheh.

Oh well. She asked for it and I got it so I guess come Christmas Eve she will be a happy bunny. I just hope she didn't forget that I was getting it her and got it from someone else or something.

I've wrapped it nicely with a gift tag and a bow anyway, not that that makes a difference, but then again it does, if it looks more intriguing then it's more fun.

Ooh Space man came travelling, I really like this song, the one by Chris De Burgh. Beautiful song ;)

Right, have waffled enough for now so I'm going to bugger off and have a nap now methinks before it's too late to have one.

Lub

xx

Today's Ramble 16.12.08

My word it seems like an age since I sat in here, in my blog that is, I'm nowhere different to normal, plonked on the bed.

I apologise for my absence but boy, you certainly know when you have got the flu don'tya! lol

I've been absent for so long but still can't think of what to type. Simon read my blog today and commented on a lot of it, where I've either had a moan about him or his hobbies or something *oops*

Managed to convert Vikki to Firefox today WOOT, another user! rofl if only I had commission for the amount of people that I have converted lol Perhaps I should do a post on the forum explaining how easy it is to get firefox and be set up with a popup blocking piece of kit within minutes. Nah, cba right now lol

I might try and get some shut eye in a minute, my eyes are hurting and I think that's a headache brewing in the mist :S The mist is what professes to be my brain, nothing professor about it unless it's possible to be a professor of thick without being brainy to be the professor bit. DOH

Saw Euan's Nativity tonight heheh, it was soooo cute and all the children did so well bless them heheh it looked like they had a fantastic time bless their little hearts. That's it now, no more infant nativities, all Juniors after this year, and they don't have them in secondary school at all as far as I know so we won't even have any from Bronny after next year. eeeeek

Euan played a small part as one of the Narrators, he had to read two lines of the play and as far as I could hear he got them perfect :) the singing was really good and the songs were so cute and amazing :) They sang to a tape, don't know if they had recorded it previously or not but the songs truly were good.

The stable animals were so cute! heheh cows and sheepies and horses and oh how cute were they, and the sheepies in the field and the lambs! woot! lol

Bless their hearts they did so well.

Euan was a bit hyper and naughty when the nativity had finished he was a bit pushy and then mouthy when we got outside, but he soon calmed down. Bronny proved herself wrong of course, she said she was just going to sit quietly next to me for the whole Nativity, she was fidgeting and faffing changing seats before it even started, she even lost her seat on the gym benches because she moved off. *rolls eyes* was a bit annoyed as to why all the children collected there and talked all the way through actually was rather offputting to be honest, I didn't even see who they had come to see, obviously no-one as they were not interested in the production itself only in sitting and talking, that was two lads and their mate and even the parents were joining in not telling them to be quiet or anything. >:[ that bloke recording must have been so annoyed, I know I would have been if I was making a recording of my child's nativity

Then there was the girl stood behind me who constantly kicked my damn wheelchair wheel the entire time, all the way through the thing, I could have turned round and told her to stop it, I did turn half in her direction a couple of times after she gave it a big kick but she didn't take the fooking hint, I should have took the brakes off and ran her foot over! rofl

Anyway enough moaning from me.

Ni ni

Today's Ramble 12.12.08

I am such a dick head.

This morning was a stupid rush to get to hospital in time for my appointment at 9:40am to assess whether or not I need foot care (someone to deal with my feeties) instead of getting constant ingrowing toenails and stuff. eeek (I have one now and it kills like anything especially when I stub it on something, it's gone septic again with puss and everything bleugh).

Anyway, poor Simon struggled to get me out of the house in the wheelchair, every movement a chore for him whilst he has flu, really badly I'm worried about him his breathing is terrible with his asthma and not being able to take in a proper breath and only have shallow breathing because of the flu and the cough he has developed, he then struggled to lift the wheelchair into the car, I struggled to get in the car and get comfortable.

Then there was the struggle the other end, Simon couldn't get a space on the carpark so he had to stop in the entrance and just drop me off, this meant that I had to struggle to push myself into the hospital, the ground is nice and paved but it's uneven and the wheelchair wants to go the way of the slope but I need to cut across it, or to go up it with my limited energy, I am so bloody heavy.

When I finally got into the hospital I had to search to find out where my appoinmtent was and when I got there I was told to go upstairs, and I went upstairs, they told me to go downstairs, blah blah the lovely girl on the rheumy ward phoned through to the podiatry clinic for me and found out...

that my appointment was on 9th, Tuesday gone, so I was late in date as well as in time by the time it was eventually checked where I needed to be, apparently they'll send me a new appointment out in the post which means that I won't be seen until the new year now! FFS How could I make such a fuck up!?

I am sooo bloody annoyed with myself for that, and I just know that my readers will be laughing, one at the story and then laughing because it is just something typical, VERY typical of me. You can laugh, I won't mind, I'm seeing the funny side now, I wanted to cry at the hospital though I felt like such a tit.

Simon has got up and buggered off downstairs again bless him, not sure why he's gone as he didn't tell me, perhaps he's gone to top up the hot water bottle, or perhaps he's gone for a hot chocolate or a cold drink, or perhaps he's sitting up on the sofa downstairs, if he's not back soon I will go and check on him to make sure he is OK. He is so poorly bless him. His poorly is described like my semi bad day, so I do know how he feels, lets hope he doesn't get to one of my bad days in pain and moving around etc. The only cure for what he has is to wrap up warm, take paracetamol and sweat it out :S Poor sod. I know how much I hate having flu, I just hope that the post nasal drip, aches and pains and the feeling of shit was me with it and that was the worst I got before it buggered off. Thinking about it, I had bad temperatures too.

I need to make a badge for the forum, it has to be worn throughout the year so it has to look pretty good and be a decent size so it is noticeable, whereas it has to be something that is bearable to look at for a whole year.

One of my friends has fallen out with me again, this time it was something that is truly nothing to do with them, yes it has happened to their best friend but it does not give them the right to have a go at me about it.

*shuts up* saves her sending me a Christmas Card I guess. *sigh*

I think that's all I shall write about for today, this has all put me in a not very good mood at all.

Lubs

Carol

x

Today's Ramble 11.12.08

What a day. *rolls eyes*

Simon is not going to get much sleep tonight by the sound of him, poor sod, he went to bed just after 8pm but is up now (11pm) coughing up boogers and blowing his nose constantly. He has one of those kool aid patch thingies on his forehead and it's not taking his temperature down. Poor sod, he has flu, perhaps man flu

I'm buggered if i can think of what to blog about, there is one subject but I don't even want to go there in this blog.

I'm sorry about my other blog, I didn't mean to get all emotional and talk about my Nan it just happened :S Oh well it had to be done at some point, better to get the emotions out the way sooner rather than later no disrespect Nan I still love you to bits.

I'm falling asleep at the moment so I am going to bugger off now and sleep.

15 Sleeps!

Eeeeek

Not done ANY Christmas Shopping yet, got no money till next Thursday (week tomorrow) which is the day that they break up! So we literally have about 3 hours to complete the Shopping in time to get home and hide it all ready to wrap it all for Christmas.

I am excited about Christmas this year so the days are going slower than last year when I didn't particularly care about it :S I quite often feel lethargic and dull towards Christmas, I do not know why, I think it's because all of the traditions that I am so used to for so many years have all gone, and I'm a stickler for tradition and I cannot abide or cope with changes to my life, cannot do them at all.

I still want the traditional Christmases of yesteryear when we used to alternate on Boxing Day going to Uncle Len & Aunty Wendy's or Uncle Len & Aunty Wendy coming to us. I think when she died it stopped that tradition, not that I blame her in the slightest I was just explaining.

I can't cope with people dying either, I still haven't and don't think I ever will come to terms with my Nan's death, I just cannot bring myself to think about it in a logical way, then when I try and think about it I end up having nightmares that she was alive when they cremated her and she was struggling to get out, then all of a sudden I was in the coffin trying to get out. Then, well then it was her again and I was trying to scream and shout at everyone that she was alive, but noone would listen to me. :(

-----------

That day I went to meet my Nan in town, was supposed to be meeting her at the house but was too lazy to get up so arranged to meet her in town instead. I keep telling myself now that if I hadn't been so lazy I would have noticed something not right with Nan and insisted we either didn't go into town or we took a taxi in. :( I don't think that ANYTHING I could have changed would have made a difference that fateful day. The day after Grandad's birthday so thankfully she'd been out and had a lovely day the day before.

When she never turned up I started to panic, I knew that something was wrong, I could feel it. I rode (motorbike) to Gramps house, he wasn't there nextdoor neighbour said a copper had taken him away, so I went to the police station, the police station were not allowed to tell me what had happened, I rode to the hospital 16 miles away, they told me that I had better go home and be with my Gramps... they couldn't tell me what was wrong. I knew, I knew then that my Nan was in their morgue, if I wasn't allowed to see her, then she must be dead. I cried all the way to my Gramps house, crying and stressing all the way whilst riding my motorbike at breakneck speed. (as fast as it would go anyway) I got to my Grandad's house, there was a neighbour there, they left me with Gramps, he told me, I collapsed.

That day was most possibly one of, if not THE worst day of my life.

To this day I try to stop myself arguing that if I was there I would have done this, done that, she's not have died. To be honest, if you're going to go, you're going to go. She dropped dead instantly, even the ambulance that was driving past at the time didn't have time to save her, she was gone. Ruptured aorta it was, so really not much anyone could have done, she'd have died in hospital before they could save her if she was already in hospital so I'm told.

My Nan was the world and my Mother to me, she was everything and I idolised her, I loved her so much, I neglected her when I met "him" because he kept me busy at weekends when I should have been seeing my Nan on a weekly basis. I wish that she'd have waited another couple of years to see my kids my kids would be truly honestly blessed by having her in their life.

I just thought of another dream about my Nan, it was a really nice dream to have and I never wanted it to end BUT it was so cruel and harsh in reality. You see I dreamed that my Nan hadn't really died, it was all a big cock up, there she was at their house being her amazing self and I spend the whole day being her Grandaughter again :) It was the most lovely dream but when I did wake up, I thought it was true, I wasn't sure whether it was or not, whether I had just dreamed it all, or whether it was true :( I felt empty and alone when I realised it was a dream, but then I thanked my Nan for visiting my dream.

To this day I honestly believe that she did visit that dream. :) I think she was trying to tell me ehat she'll always be with me, and only most prominent in my dreams even if I don't physically see her, I'll know that she's there. :)

Today's Ramble 10.12.08

Hello,

I wanted to get my blog done early tonight before I start falling asleep and then it gets all crap and waffling heheh

I also thought I would get it done and out the way whilst Simon is playing his game and far away from mischief incase I need the toilet or something. According to the dictionary on Firefox and the ones in Office, there are a few words that used to be complete one words that do not exist anymore, for instance incase is no longer deemed a suitable word it has to be in case, and then you have anymore that is no longer a joint word it is now any more. It's crap! They're changing everything us oldies know as being the norm! It's not fair!

Fwog has just pooped lol it's so funny when she poops, she moves away from that spot until Simon cleans up after her and as soon as he's cleaned up she usually goes back to that spot bless her lol she's well trained, or maybe she has Simon well trained, the choice is yours fellow readers.

Charlene hasn't been on for a wee while that I've noticed again, I hope that she is OK and that home life isn't TOO stressful for her, saying that I might just have forgotten when she was last on because I just vaguely recalled talking to her of an evening before bed and I cannot remember what evening it was, I don't THINK it was last night, see how crap my memory is? lol

That's one thing that my friends have to remember, I have a completely crap memory so if I forget something and it upsets you that I've forgotten it, please excuse me but it's part of my poorly and I don't MEAN to do it. I don't blame everything on my poorly either it's just that there are lots of symptoms of the poorly heheh

Hammies need cleaning out again *rolls eyes* seems like only yesterday that I did them last, I can't remember when I did them last :S oh darnit this memory of mine is bloody dreadful. Oh, yeah the last entry of me cleaning them out on here doesn't necessarily mean I haven't cleaned them out, I know I blog everything but what I am having for dinner and what day it is, but I don't ALWAYS blog about my critters.

The rats SHOULDN'T need doing yet but they smell so I'm going to have to clean them out, what a lovely job that is then eh? lol It's the most time consuming of my critters but they are worth it, the craft little buggers. I've seen them plotting with Simon to get me to have a sleep so that they can raid the secret stash of treats that are usually within the house heheh

Have just added some yummy crippies to the Tesco shopping order :D here's hoping that Simon likes two of the flavours in his crisps, I know he'll like at least 1 but then he can always raid the rest of the crisps that are coming. I have just got a craving for crisps right now, will have to see what is left of the kids cheapo crisps. heheh

Topped up on custard creams now Simon is pigging them, when I have a craving for a cream I want to make sure that I have some in stock lol Simon wants to get a tin of something for his parents and my parents for Christmas, I don't know what I want to get Mum and Dad to be honest, Dad has the printer from me to be true, considering it would cost him a bit brand new, in fact I don't know how much those printers would be now, pretty cheap probably considering printers are upgraded and therefore outdated as quick as computers. Si is ALREADY talking about upgrading his PC and I am pretty sure he has not long upgraded it to be honest *rolls eyes* if it's not spiders it's pcs though :( I guess I shouldn't complain but his hobbies are kinda becoming rather expensive lately.

That reminds me, I haven't touched my puzzle books that I bought at Tesco the other day yet :S I should be able to start doing them if I get up a little earlier to try and have 5 minutes of chill and peace before the rat bags break my silence with their fighting which I have to say they are doing a lot of right now.

Well, the things that were supposed to happen after Mandy came to talk to us, STILL haven't started to happen yet, I've lost my already dwindling faith in the system now it's pants, I just cannot understand how simple tasks can be forgot but then again maybe if they are not getting their money from the government to help me then they're not going to be able to afford to help me :( Not that it's my fault that I am in this situation in the first place.

That's it from me for now am falling asleep again, think I'm going to have an early night again

Love to all

x

Today's Ramble 09.11.08

just a minute... yes I THOUGHT I had blogged on 7th, turns out it was saved as a draft, not completed and not published either rofl

I wish that Kezz and Vik would make up, it upsets me when they fall out because they are such good friends and are amazingly fun and cool when they are together, you can tell they were made to be together because they are not completely themselves when they are apart. Hopefully this one will blow over soon. I'm not commenting on WHAT they have fallen out about because that would cause an argument in itself. I have told them both that I am half and half. I don't think they would expect me to side with one or the other and I'm glad that I can still be friends with both of them.

I just got a craving for a chicken/turkey and stuffing sarny mmmmm what am I like lol *drools* I think it's because I have not eaten and I am thinking about Christmas heheh. I am drooling for real heheh!

This blog is going to have to be cut short this time round, I've got a splitter of a headache thumping away in my head and it keeps giving me a hot flush temperature. *phew it's hot in here* so I'm going to have to have a lie down which means bed time because I shall stay asleep or at least stay in bed for the night heheh

Goodnight fellow blogfollowers I'm sorry there is nothing interesting to read again, I will try catching up tomorrow in the daytime.

Huggles

xx

Ooops a daisy

I didn't realise that I hadn't blogged last night but one as well as last night, my blog fans are going to be complaining! LOL though I don't think they are reading it any more actually, after a few whining long posts rofl

I will try and blog tonight honestly!

Just thought I'd pop in and let you all know that I haven't given up on blogging heheh.

xx

Today's Ramble 07.12.08

I think the bad flare I was going through this past week has resided and I am back in remission although I am still in pain and constantly struggling to breathe, the pain is not quite as bad as it was during the flare. By no means am I anywhere near normal, but to not scream in agony every single thing I did, is good.

Euan acted very tired and sleepy today, I'm not surprised as he has a nasty cold though, I gave him a paracetamol not long before bed so that he could have a decent night sleep as he said that his head hurt him, hopefully that will have enabled him to sleep through til morning bless his little socks.

I am definitely taking him to Minor Injuries tomorrow morning as I am not remotely happy with the size and state of the blisters that he has on his hands, I am hoping that the hospital will have some magic solution for blisters so that he doesn't suffer in agony anymore. I must say though that he is being an incredibly brave little boy bless his little heart.

Bronny acted a little jealous when she realised that her Brother was having a tablet for his poorly head and I could see in her face that she was thinking up some thing that she would need a tablet for, before she had chance I turned around and said "no Bronny you DON'T have anything wrong with you so walk away please" and she totted away with her tail between her legs, defeated again lol

Simon scared the absolute crap out of me earlier today, I was making myself a cuppa and in a complete world of my own when he came crawling in very fast on his hands and knees, not only did he make me jump out of my skin, he really startled me, didn't even hear him til he was right by my feet, but he looked exceptionally strange too, he choked on his saliva he was laughing so much at the face I pulled in reaction to his daft caper. He tried to pull the stunt again a bit later but I had seen him come in whilst he was not watching where I was, I should have made him jump but I didn't think fast enough to wreak my revenge lol

After using vista for as long as I have had the laptop, I can see that Vista is a much better operating system than using XP so I cannot understand when people use XP over Vista, I think most of the time it is because they are too scared of the change and perhaps because Vista had such a bad name when it was first released, infact even before it was released it had a bad name. I think I recall that I mentioned that I would never use it, I think one of the problems was the huge upgrades one would have to make to a machine to have a fully functional operating system rather than one that refuses to run because the spec of the PC is just not good enough. However if someone is able to upgrade to Vista financially and with the spec of the PC and they don't bother, I think they are a slight worse than nutty rofl

Out of all the OS I have used I have to say that Vista has been the most usable and least disruptive to what I want to do. Ubuntu was good but I just couldn't use various hardware pieces with it, Kubuntu kept breaking and doing my head in, XP was fine as long as I had XP but I swiftly became bored of it and needed something else, now I have found that something else, although I don't have time consuming activities with Vista, merely the games alone that it comes with are a seller to me.

I gave Kezz and Vikki some more of the forum to look after today, I'm becoming more and more inclined to ask Jane and Clare if they mind me making Charlene, Vik and Kezz mods to the whole forum at some point as they are doing a grand job of what they have been given so far. Charlene has always been fantastic at notifying me of situations going on within the forum before anyone else actually, she will text me with the problem so If I'm not on the forum I can soon get my butt on the forum to sort the problem or situation out. She has been really good for that and I think that's really REALLY valuable in a member, for this alone I think she should be promoted to General Mod (Super Mod, Forum Tamer, whatever the title) as she has deserved the position for quite some time now but has not been recognised for it.

As for Kezz and Vikki, they have been working really hard throughout the sections that they have been given and I think that on the forum they would always be on hand to move a post to where it should be and that they would also help notifiy me should there be an issue on the forum.

I don't think that Jane and Clare would have a problem with having other moderators on the team I think that if there is anyone to persuade it would be Simon who argues that we don't neex ANY mods at the moment, which is of course untrue. BUT then again I don't HAVE to persuade Simon because he hasn't GOT to authorise it after all.

The other what, 1/3 of me thinks that Simon would be right in arguing that we don't need anyone else on board and I suppose he could argue that we'll end up with more staff on the forum than we have members. Which, at the moment with our exceptionally small member base would probably be true.

I shall leave it for now and see how we go. Kezz & Vikk have only been mods for 5 minutes, don't want to push the situation too far so soon.

Word of Warning

If there is ever any mention to Men's private parts, sexual encounters, lesbianism or anything that you agree is totally out of character for me? It's Simon messing about, last night he put "balls balls hairy balls I love balls balls balls" or something very similar to that wording in my blog before I realised and published it, thankfully I quickly skimmed it to check for obvious typos the second after I published so was able to remove it without too much damage being caused, although Vikki saw it because she had gone to my blog hoping that I'd have blogged for that day and yup there was the lurid comment. At least only she saw it though to only minimal damage had taken place.

So, to recap, if there's anything untoward or that doesn't fit in with the paragraphs arount it and doesn't seem to be written by me (everyone has their own style of writing) then please ignore it. It will inevitably be Simon. I don't mind expletives in the blog (in comments for instance) but I don't appreciate Simon adding his two penneth into my texts.

Thank you for all your time.

Carol

x

Today's Ramble 06.12.08

Had a bad night sleep again but I surprised myself because when Euan was coughing repeatedly at 9:30 this morning I got up to check on him and then instead of going back to bed which I normally would, I got up and took the children downstairs, I was really surprised with myself.

Bronny and Euan were watching the TV whilst I was checking the forum and checking email and generally messing about with things on the laptop. When they had their breakfast they started complaining that they wanted to go upstairs and play on the PC and the DS, I obviously said that no that wasn't going to happen, perhaps after lunch but they were certainly not going to play on them all day long.

Next thing I knew it was time to feed the kids lunch, when they had had their lunch they were begging to go upstairs on the pc and ds, I think I gave in eventually because I planned to have a sleep because I was feeling rather poorly at this point. Sooo Euan went on the pc and Bronny went on the DS, they were not to swap over because Euan cannot use the DS with his poorly fingers.

Have just spoken to Mum and told her how Euan is today, silly boy I still can't believe that he did it! :( Mum said the time to watch is when the bisters burst because if he gets dirt or germs in them he'll have one poorly hand. I told Mum that if I wasn't happy with his hand on Monday I would take him to Minor Injuries at Cannock as they're open all day now from 9am - 12am I think it might be best to get him in to see them anyway to see what they think of it to see if they need to do anything to ensure that it heals perfectly. I did what I THOUGHT was best to do at the time, hopefully it was OK and enough to save his hand from being really scarred.

Simon has been in a weird mood today, this morning he did nothing but tell me and the children off for EVERYTHING we were doing which was getting me down somewhat but I just kept quiet because I didn't want a disagreement with him, we don't argue, we've not argued in the 5 years we have been together this year, 30th December is our anniversary heheh

Two weeks til Simon's family's Christmas Meal, I thoroughly enjoy this meal and the chance to get together with Simon's Gran and Alf and Simon's Aunt and Uncle :) it really is a great time that we have, even if Michael and Michelle are there lol, it's not that I don't like them, THEY don't like me, I have NO idea why not, what the heck I did to make them both fall out with me I have no idea, but I'm sure that Michelle has something to do with it. We didn't have a family meal last year because Gran and Alf didn't hold one and I have to say that I well and truly missed it, I know it's not my family but, well, it's the best family family that I have got. I just wish at the house Christina didn't ignore me when Michelle and Michael are around she always entertains them and I get left in the lounge looking at the wallpaper whilst everyone else buggers off and goes about their way. I think they have gotten the hint this time now I keep taking my DS with me though, I just hope they don't think that I am being rude with it, I am just trying to give myself something to do other than die of boredom when I am left in the lounge all alone as Simon has gone off to help his Dad with something, the kids are playing with Adam and/or James and that leaves me, on my tod, in the lounge. *yawns*

Anyway I shouldn't complain. They're not my family so are not obliged to talk to me.

Time is ticking away as per usual, it's nearly Sunday and then it will be Monday and then it will be the dreaded school run again :S arrggghhhh lol I cannot stand the school morning, I think it would be even worse if I had to go out in the horrible weathers, but being at home and doing this end of the school run, getting them up, dressed, eaten and ready to go is bad enough, sometimes it is the worst bit even if it IS pissing down with rain outside lol

I still have this horrible lump on the back of my head that the doc said was a cyst and he told me that we'd leave it alone and that it didn't matter etc, surely it needs getting rid of? I don't want this anymore I've had it for years this lump but only recently it seems to have gotten bigger, say in the last 12 months. Maybe I now have a cyst on top of a cyst or something. Next time I'm due at the doctors again I will actually ask about it again and ask it I could pretty please have it removed because I don't want it on my head anymore, pretty please.

I have my feet appointment on Friday morning WOOT, I know nothing will be done that morning as it is clinic assessing whether or not I need podiatry care but surely if my toes are still septic then they won't just leave them they'll get someone to look at them as soon as possible? I want half of the toe nail removing on each big toe to be honest because I am fed up of the problems that I am having with them, even with someone cutting my toenails for me and treating my feet, I'm still going to have problems in between appts, because I'm damn sure that they're not going to see me every week, in fact I don't want to be seen every bloody week because that would mean that we would have to be up and out every week lol Might do me good to have a schedule though and HAVE to go out on a certain day at a certain time.

I'm still wondering whether or not to bother with this weightwatchers and/or slimming world malarky. I know that I want to lose weight and that I NEED to lose weight but I don't know whether I want to do it publicly Marjory Dawes style or whether I would prefer to keep myself to myself. I shall google both of them in a bit and see which one looks more suitable, I obviously have to also find out which one of them does a course near to here instead of having to go miles to get to the nearest course.

I've just confessed to Vikki and Kezz that I stole the last packet of salt and vinegar crisps out of the children's drawer and hid them to eat at my leisure as I knew they would not be there next day if I left them there. Not a major confession I know but it honestly has made me feel guilty, I'm so naughty :(

My skin has gone really sensitive again, just rubbing my wrist up against the soft and creaseless quilt cover whilst typing is causing me great distress in my wrist and my arm, in fact touching everything is making me feel sore and in discomfort, the clothes I am wearing are making me feel all prickly and sore too. What a strange sensation, I hope that it doesn't last long. I've had it before and it lasted a good couple of hours before it calmed down, hopefully it will pass before I settle down to go to sleep otherwise there isn't going to be much sleeping going on heheh.

The fan on the laptop is so noisy I am surprised that Simon manages to go to sleep when I am typing away of an evening. I am trying to type quietly but the fan doesn't give any thought to how noisy it is when it wants to cool the laptop down heheh. Using the laptop has actually improved my wrists since I have used it because it's flat and because I rest my wrists on the lappy where the warmth comes through so I am constantly being warmed at a constant and wonderfully warm flow. Heat therapy works wonders heheh. I just wish I could use the heat on the rest of my body. Maybe I should invent a massage set up that you wrap around your neck, elbows, wrists, knees and ankles and use the heat of the laptop to soothe away the aches and pains and in the meantime you are keeping the temperature of the laptop down heheh

Vikki's laptop seems to crash quite often when it gets hot, basically it is the defence mechanism of the processor, it is designed to shut down the whole system when it reaches a certain temperature and not allow itself to be switched on again until that temperature is no longer reached, when it cools down to an acceptable level. This would tell me that either Vikki's laptop fan is not doing it's job or the vents for the fan are being completely blocked so the fan cannot cool the processor down. Other than the screen which is seperate to the MB and processor the things that get hottest are the hard drive when it's in use and the MB and processor itself. If the fan that has been installed in the laptop is not doing it's job properly then it cannot cool the MB and therefore processor down to the required level. Perhaps Vikki needs to consider hoovering the case of the laptop on the outside bottom to ensure that no dust or other small particles are blocking the air vents and then look at where she has the laptop positioned, if it is on a soft surface then the fan cannot circulate air out of the laptop, it has to be on a hard surface to be able to work propelry, even a lapdesk would suffice to give room to circulate around the base of the laptop even if being used on a lap. :)

Ooh I got all technical then heheh

I just drank my tea at the ideal temperature then, which is just cooler than mouth burning temperature ;) heheh Geesh I'm such a geek

Have to wrap up my secret santa gift and make it look all pretty wetty as am sending it in the week as I have some monies in my purse :) Hopefully Simon will take me into the village so I can also go and enquire at the beauty place how much it will cost to have my eyebrows done and when they can fit me in. It's about time I had them done properly again and I am sure that I can spare the monies that it costs to have them done, though not sure as it cost me £4 back in 2003 I'm guessing it's not far off £10 to have them done now :S

Right, I'm just waffling now so I'm going to shut up and bugger off.

Ni Ni bloggywoggythingywingymajig.

x