Tired oh so tired

I'm not well again today, overtired for a start regardless of the amount of sleep I am getting, last night was another earlier compared to normal night and I still feel like crap :S eek.

It's not just tiredness, it's mongedness as well, I am sitting here trying hard to keep my eyes focused and open, the focus bit is not easy at all as I keep losing focus and then my eyes want to shut.

I should give in to it and go to bed otherwise I shall be more ill tonight/tomorrow but I don't want to end up spending most of my waking hours in bed. i'll end up with a mere 9-10 hours of being awake! lol

Simon is writing the content for a website that his brother is building for his college course, it looks like he's done a lot so far! He's working hard too for his brother's bloody coursework lol

Simon complained that he had to do it and couldn't be arsed and the next minute he was tyyping away doing it for him.

Ooo-er that's a new one, hot/cold sweats with a very nauseous feel to it, I feel like crap now and breathing is difficult too. :(

I have no idea what is happening to me at the moment I really don't, I wish that everthing would go back to normal and I'd be OK with just a bad knee.

My Mum is in Germany at the moment, did I already tell you that? Clare had a hysterectomy yesterday so Mum is there looking after Clarebear and trying to stop her from overdoing it, but she's still in hospital at the moment.

I don't know if the pain from a hysterectomy is worse than the pain from a caesarian, but if it is worse then I well and truly pity her because I can remember how much pain I was in I couldn't even go to the toilet because I couldn't push down TMI? Yes, sorry. Anyway I am presuming that a hysterectomy must be worse.

I am trying really hard to keep the forum going by making sure I am in attendance every dy from now on instead of being away for so long... it does make a difference when I make the effort because I feel other people feel more comfortable posting when people are on the forum, when the posts are getting more responses they are more willing to post again.

We don't have any really interactive posts to get ALL our members involved with at the moment so they end up coming, clicking on unread topics since last visit and only getting one or two posts come up so they look at those posts, have no interest in posting in them and leave.

We need all known members to get involved with things, not known I mean regular I think? Oh I don't know what I think.

I've been seeing beautiful and fantastical scenes in my head and I wish that I could copy them down onto paper with pencils or paints or something, but I'm crap so I'd make a right mess and I wouldn't know where to start.

I love dreaming about faeries and dragons and mystical creatures, it really relaxes me and cheers me up so when i wake up I'm happy rather than uncomfortable because I had a horrible or bad dream.

I dreamed that all my friends and family were bundled together on this big rock in the middle of nowhere and the rock had dynamite under it and I was handcuffed to this metal post that was concreted into the ground and I had to sit and watch them all being blown up. What a bloody awful dream it was, I woke at 3:08 this morning, crying because the dream was so horrible. :( When I went back to sleep I got the dream away and dreamt about something else which was not bloody awful.

I don't think I have ever dreamed something so horrible as that, I've dreamed that Simon and the children have died, or one of the children has died before and that was bad enough without losing all my friends and family at the same time and watching too.

That's it now I'm not in the mood for writing anymore I'm tired, monged AND upset now lol

Huggles to all who read me.

Carol

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